# Talking to a cross-eyed person **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 14, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706 "2010-07-14T20:00:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![spee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@spee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spee)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/1 "2010-07-14T20:00:50Z")
In which eye should I be looking at when I talk to a cross-eyed person? Thanks, Spee ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/2 "2010-07-14T20:02:04Z")
Look at the bridge of their nose… and their left ear, simultaneously. Give as good as you get, I say. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/3 "2010-07-14T20:07:43Z")
One eye should be making eye contact with you. Go with that one. ---
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/4 "2010-07-14T20:24:16Z")
I’m blind in one eye and have been since birth. My right eye works, my left eye wandered until I had an operation at age 4 that essentially tied the muscles together (don’t ask me how) so that the eyes track almost together. If you look closely at me, you can tell my right eye is looking at you and my left eye isn’t quite. Conversely, I can tell when close to someone if they’re looking in my right eye or my left. So I’d agree – if you want to appear to be looking at the person, look at the eye that’s looking back. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/5 "2010-07-14T20:34:19Z")
> [@OldGuy](#): > > if you want to appear to be looking at the person, look at the eye that’s looking back. Note: if you try this with [an old-style Cylon](http://www.legionxxiv.org/cylon124/cylonglitter.jpg), bring your cross-trainers. ---
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/6 "2010-07-14T20:47:17Z")
I’m blind in one eye and have been since birth. My right eye works, my left eye wandered until I have an operation at age 4 that essentially tied the muscles together (don’t ask me how) so that the eyes track almost together. If you look closely at me you could tell my right eye is looking at you and my left eye isn’t quite. Conversely, I can tell when close to someone if they’re looking in my right eye or my left. So I’d agree – if you want to appear to be looking at the person look at the eye that’s looking back. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/7 "2010-07-14T21:59:25Z")
Why wouldn’t you look into both of their eyes, like you would with anyone else? Your eyes are normal, right? ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/8 "2010-07-14T23:32:02Z")
Try to focus on our heads or faces, not our eyes specifically. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/9 "2010-07-14T23:39:31Z")
> [@OldGuy](#): > > I’m blind in one eye and have been since birth. My right eye works, my left eye wandered until I have an operation at age 4 that essentially tied the muscles together (don’t ask me how) so that the eyes track almost together. If you look closely at me you could tell my right eye is looking at you and my left eye isn’t quite. Conversely, I can tell when close to someone if they’re looking in my right eye or my left. So I’d agree – if you want to appear to be looking at the person look at the eye that’s looking back. I had that same operations (or at least a similar one). How it works, for the sake of fighting ignorance (spoilered for the exceptionally squeamish): Your eyeball has a number of muscles which connect the eyeball itself to the bony structure of the eye socket. These are what allow you to move your eyes. What they do in this surgery is slice all the way through one or two of those muscles, and then reconnect it, thereby shortening it, thereby pulling the given eye in the desired direction. So if your left eye pointed out compared to the right, they most likely would’ve shortened some of the muscles on the interior side of the eye, to get it aligned properly. Anyway, regarding the OP - just look them in the face if you absolutely can’t tell which eye. Chance are they’re aware it’s an issue. ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/10 "2010-07-14T23:56:02Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > I had that same operations (or at least a similar one). How it works, for the sake of fighting ignorance (spoilered for the exceptionally squeamish): Your eyeball has a number of muscles which connect the eyeball itself to the bony structure of the eye socket. These are what allow you to move your eyes. What they do in this surgery is slice all the way through one or two of those muscles, and then reconnect it, thereby shortening it, thereby pulling the given eye in the desired direction. So if your left eye pointed out compared to the right, they most likely would’ve shortened some of the muscles on the interior side of the eye, to get it aligned properly. > > Anyway, regarding the OP - just look them in the face if you absolutely can’t tell which eye. Chance are they’re aware it’s an issue. I had this done too. Best part: waking up with a big long thread hanging out of my eye. The doc needed me awake to do the final suturing and adjustment. Nothing like watching a big-ass needle coming in and out of your eye, eh? ---
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/11 "2010-07-15T00:10:03Z")
> [@KinkiNipponTourist](#): > > I had this done too. Best part: waking up with a big long thread hanging out of my eye. The doc needed me awake to do the final suturing and adjustment. Nothing like watching a big-ass needle coming in and out of your eye, eh? Yikes! I’m glad I was spared that. Of course practice may have changed. My operation was 57 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/12 "2010-07-15T00:24:08Z")
> [@spee](#): > > In which eye should I be looking at when I talk to a cross-eyed person? > > Thanks, > > Spee Look at their tits. If they don’t have nice tits then why are you talking to them? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/13 "2010-07-15T10:59:17Z")
> [@Geek\_Mecha](#): > > Try to focus on our heads or faces, not our eyes specifically. That’s the real normal thing to do. Looking at people directly in the eyes is generally offputting after a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/14 "2010-07-15T11:07:19Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > Look at their tits. If they don’t have nice tits then why are you talking to them? Win. ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/15 "2010-07-15T13:12:53Z")
Slight Hijack. With your partner or close friend try looking at the corner of their eye when you are talking to them, After a short while they really get freaked out and can’t figure who has the problem you or them ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/16 "2010-07-15T14:04:34Z")
> [@spee](#): > > In which eye should I be looking at when I talk to a cross-eyed person? > > Thanks, > > Spee Had a friend with a minor Marty Feldman look. I always looked at the bridge of his nose. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/17 "2010-07-15T14:44:33Z")
Just remember: in the valley of the circles, the cross-eyed man is king. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/18 "2010-07-15T15:37:38Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > Look at their tits. If they don’t have nice tits then why are you talking to them? What if _they_ are looking in different directions? ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/19 "2010-07-16T09:38:59Z")
I generally try to focus on their eyelids/eyebrow area. This is one of those things you aren’t aware of doing til somebody asks you what you “normally” do. I don’t know which eye and/or both I usually look at when talking to somebody with non-crossed eyes. I only think about it when their eyes are crossed, and it distracts me to the point that I can’t recall what my “default” is. If one eye is definitely looking at me, I look at that eye. But sometimes I get flustered, and feel bad, which makes it all worse. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@Captain\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706/20 "2010-07-17T15:11:46Z")
I knew a girl who had one normal eye and another eye that was out of balance for instance… ``` * * * * * * * OO * * OO* * * * * * * _______________ ``` [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-to-a-cross-eyed-person/546706.md?page=2)