# Talking Urinal Cakes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 15, 2007, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382 "2007-02-15T19:51:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/1 "2007-02-15T19:51:42Z")
New Mexico has ordered 500 “Talking Urinal Cakes” that are activated by motion sensors. [http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070215/D8N9SK980.html](http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070215/D8N9SK980.html) To quote from the article: > [@](#): > > “Hey there, big guy. Having a few drinks?” a female voice says a few seconds after an approaching male sets off a motion sensor in the device. “It’s time to call a cab or ask a sober friend for a ride home.” Some thoughts: 1.) If I were drunk and using the urinal, this would scare the heck out of me. So maybe it’s effective. 2.) I suspect a lot of guys, drunk or not, once they figure out where the voice is coming from will use the closest item at hand and say “Take that, bitch!” 3.) Considering which, this might be sexist along the lines of those “Kisses” urinals. [File:Urinal mouth.jpg - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Urinal_mouth.jpg) 4.) On the other hand, a Talking Urinal Cake with a female voice might be the appropriate thing to put into a “Kisses” urinal. 5.) If you could program the talking urinal cake in a Kisses urinal, whjat would it say? ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/2 "2007-02-15T19:57:22Z")
“You know how I like it in my mouth.” “Pee in my mouth you sexy son of a bitch” “Shoot it in my mouth” also if I was drunk and the cake started talking I’d probably fall over in shock and forget to quit peeing and then pee all over myself. ---
**Author:** ![toadbriar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@toadbriar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toadbriar)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/3 "2007-02-15T20:00:51Z")
I don’t think it’s wise to startle a man with an unexpected voice while he’s in mid-stream. Are they still minty? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/4 "2007-02-15T20:10:03Z")
:eek: It could be worse. It could have [sub]dear Og, forgive me for thinking this[/sub] an animated or animatronic mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/5 "2007-02-15T20:11:29Z")
Talking urinal cakes? That’s just taking the piss. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/6 "2007-02-15T20:13:05Z")
The sound of a waterfall would be nice… kinda give you a sense of accomplishment. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/7 "2007-02-15T20:25:34Z")
[QUOTE=Tahssa] “You know how I like it in my mouth.” “Pee in my mouth you sexy son of a bitch” “Shoot it in my mouth” also if I was drunk and the cake started talking I’d probably fall over in shock and forget to quit peeing and then pee all over myself. [/QUOTE] _snerk_ That’s pure gold there. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/8 "2007-02-15T20:51:24Z")
“Looks like a penis, only shorter” ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/9 "2007-02-15T20:59:07Z")
I think I’ve got a sick mind. The first thing I thought of was having the cakes, once urination commences, say: “Hi. My name is hRRRGRBLBBlbpblbbpblbglg::splutter::garrgbllrgPTHPTHPFFT!” :o ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/10 "2007-02-15T22:04:56Z")
Just when I Think I’ve Heard It All™… ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/11 "2007-02-15T22:35:22Z")
SCORE!!! I can’t wait to let loose on one of these things! ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/12 "2007-02-15T22:36:09Z")
“I’m melllllting! Melllting!” ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/13 "2007-02-16T01:45:58Z")
“Don’t eat the Big White Mint.” ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/14 "2007-02-16T02:49:31Z")
Which is funnier? That the recording ends with “Remember, your future is in your hand.” Or that some of them have been stolen from the urinals at the Turtle Mountain Brewing Co. bar and restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/15 "2007-02-16T03:14:49Z")
On a serious note… Those things are a little too Big Brother-ish. And I think they are an invasion of privacy. ---
**Author:** ![toadbriar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@toadbriar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toadbriar)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/16 "2007-02-16T03:56:45Z")
I don’t recall any urinal scenes from Red Dwarf, but if there were, I’m pretty sure that talking urinal cakes would fit right in. As a female, I’m a bit jealous. I want a sci fi peeing experience too. Maybe a toilet with an iris style opening that only works when you apply weight to the seat. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/17 "2007-02-16T04:35:45Z")
[QUOTE=toadbriar] I don’t recall any urinal scenes from Red Dwarf, but if there were, I’m pretty sure that talking urinal cakes would fit right in. As a female, I’m a bit jealous. I want a sci fi peeing experience too. Maybe a toilet with an iris style opening that only works when you apply weight to the seat. [/QUOTE] I haven’t seen Red Dwarf, but I think when artificial gravity is perfected you’ll be able to have a local effect urinal that let’s you pee standing up. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![straight\_man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/straight_man/32/3027_2.png) [@straight\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straight_man)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/18 "2007-02-16T17:34:43Z")
[QUOTE=Runs With Scissors] On a serious note… Those things are a little too Big Brother-ish. And I think they are an invasion of privacy. [/QUOTE] Actually, no. It’s not like they check your alcohol level – they’ll presumably say the exact same thing to a completely sober five-year-old. That said, it’s just a touch ooky. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/19 "2007-02-16T17:38:50Z")
“Hey there, how’s the weather outside 'cos it’s pissing down here” ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382/20 "2007-02-16T20:55:24Z")
[QUOTE=Runs With Scissors] On a serious note… Those things are a little too Big Brother-ish. And I think they are an invasion of privacy. [/QUOTE] It plays a recorded message, it doesn’t measure your dilly-donger & make snide remarks, **Runs With Scissors**. We do that. 😃 😛 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-urinal-cakes/392382.md?page=2)