# Tamerlane, I'm Calling You Out! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 22, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305 "2003-04-22T13:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/1 "2003-04-22T13:17:58Z")
In [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=178184&pagenumber=2), **Tamerlane** finally steps over the line. No more Mr. Nice Guy, buddy-boy. I’m toasting you to a rich golden brown, with crispy edges and sauce on the side. You have no fashion sense. You wear plaids and stripes together, and your socks are inside out. Even when you dress up in women’s clothes, the bra and panties don’t match, and you wear white shoes after Memorial Day. You don’t replace the toilet paper after you used up a roll, and yesterday you didn’t pick up after your dog. You use up the last of the ice cubes, and put the empty tray back in the freezer. You distribute images of professional golf without the written permission of the PGA. You’re a lousy tipper. You take the biggest brownie, and drink the last of the coffee without making another pot. You pursue a non-standard, dissolute lifestyle of libertine indulgence. You touch your own naughty bits, and encourage others to do the same. You put your elbows on the table, don’t sit up straight, and slam the door on your way out. You pick your nose while driving next to me on the freeway, and listen to NPR without ever making a contribution. You don’t write to your mother, and you covet your neighbor’s ass. It’s people like you that make me ashamed to be a small-minded, short-penised, dog-raping pervert. So how do you like them apples, Mr. Smarty-Pants, Never-Been-Pitted, Cult Leader? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/2 "2003-04-22T13:24:08Z")
> [@](#): > > and you wear white shoes after Memorial Day. [sub]psst…Labor Day[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/3 "2003-04-22T13:25:02Z")
More like Lamerlane! Rimshot! Give me a high five, **Shodan**! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/4 "2003-04-22T13:32:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shodan \* > \*\* You (snip) drink the last of the coffee without making another pot. \*\* normally, I’m anti death penalty, but everybody has their limit. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/5 "2003-04-22T13:40:02Z")
OK. So **Tamerlane** ’s never been pitted before. We knew that. **Shodan** ’s a fucking idiot. We knew that, too. What, again, is the point of this pitting? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/6 "2003-04-22T13:40:02Z")
Bah, no sincerity. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/7 "2003-04-22T13:42:12Z")
Fuck. OK, Labor Day, then. It still doesn’t affect my point that **Tamerlane** is a poodle-molesting hellspawn from the darkest nether regions of Hades, who roams the world at night feasting on the blood and flesh of innocent puppies and encouraging Communist subversion against the Miss America pageant. And has poor oral hygiene. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/8 "2003-04-22T13:45:21Z")
Did you check out this quote from the linked thread? > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Tamerlame_ > I’ve only gotten visibly pissy a couple of times I can think of. Maybe toss in a few more exasperated sneers at folks for whom I was feeling zero respect at the time ( I can think of at least one now-banned racist in that category ). WTF? Visibly pissy a couple of times? We want visibility _and_ smellibility. And we want it often! Plus we demand you sneer at smart, polite and well liked posters. None of this “exasperation” with the soon to be banned. Come on, be a jackass. You can if you try. ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/9 "2003-04-22T13:46:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Desmostylus \* > \*\*OK. So **Tamerlane** ’s never been pitted before. > > We knew that. > > **Shodan** ’s a fucking idiot. > > We knew that, too. > > What, again, is the point of this pitting? \*\* Please tell me your kidding. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/10 "2003-04-22T13:53:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aslan2 \* > \*\*Please tell me your kidding. \*\* You’ll just have to work that out for yourself, lion-boy. ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/11 "2003-04-22T14:06:09Z")
**Tamerlane**? It’s about time. All those phony good manners make me a little suspicious. Moreover, he’s a bit too patient for us decent folk. He’s like Canada, seemingly innocuous but in need of a good ass kicking. Not to mention the whole Communist Miss America thing. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/12 "2003-04-22T17:09:23Z")
mmmmm…puppies… ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/13 "2003-04-22T18:18:47Z")
Uh oh - **Jackmanii** is part of the cult. DEATH TO THE HERETICS! BURN THEM ALIVE! SEND THEM TO BED WITHOUT ANY SUPPER, AND SUSPEND THEIR TV PRIVILEGES UNTIL THEIR ROOM IS CLEAN! Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![sunfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/96bed5/32.png) [@sunfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunfish)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/14 "2003-04-22T18:38:41Z")
Now, I must take issue with this statement: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shodan \* > \*\*You have no fashion sense. You wear plaids and stripes together \ \*\* No less a person than Herr Einstein was once heard to say, “Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.” So in this regard, at least, Tamerlane is in excellent company, and you simply don’t have the intellectual capability to reach his level. Basically, you’re jealous. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/15 "2003-04-22T19:42:58Z")
**Tamerlane** had sex with me without even the benefit of a reach-around. Bastard got me pregnant, too. And was he willing to cuddle after the fact? Nooooooooooo. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/16 "2003-04-22T20:21:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shodan \* > It still doesn’t affect my point that **Tamerlane** is a poodle-molesting… So, **iampunha** is a poodle? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/17 "2003-04-22T21:20:44Z")
A bear from Darkest Peru, but in a dark room I guess someone who was sufficiently drunk could mistake a bear for a poodle… ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/18 "2003-04-22T22:57:32Z")
Pfft. Ah, the jealousy of the little people. I know it must sting to realize ( somehow, in your dim, barely sentient minds ) that you all are nothing but little puppets, existing for no other purpose than to caper for my amusement ( or in the case of **iampunha** and a few others, to function as a disposable sex toys ). But don’t you see? You’re just looking at the negative side. If you all would just embrace your mediocrity and find contentment in your inferiority, how much happier would you be? Besides, being a slouching, dissolute libertine is a perfectly valid lifestyle choice ;). p.s. - Okay, you’re got me on the NPR thing. I really should write them a check someday… - Tamerlane ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/19 "2003-04-23T00:18:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tamerlane \* > \*\*p.s. - Okay, you’re got me on the NPR thing. I really should write them a check someday… > > - Tamerlane \*\* cheap bastard ---
**Author:** ![pantom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/34f0e0/32.png) [@pantom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pantom)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tamerlane-im-calling-you-out/170305/20 "2003-04-23T04:12:47Z")
**Tamerlane** shuffles into a bar, having lost the love of his/her life, steps over some poor shmoe wallowing in the sawdust, and calmly and politely says to the bartender, “I’ll have what the gentleman on the floor is having.”\* \*punch line not original. Have it on a t-shirt.