### Author:  [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/1 "2013-01-09T00:02:56Z")
Seriously, this Tarquinus guy was a completel loser and he KNEW it. Bastard lost the entire Roman Empire evenn before it was an EMPIRE! Utter tosser. Probably offed himself out of shame, so he should NOT be called the Proud.
Discuss.
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### Author:  [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/2 "2013-01-09T00:07:48Z")
Was he at least a little pleased?
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### Author:  [@Black\_Bisector](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Bisector)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/3 "2013-01-09T00:30:20Z")
Shaka, when the walls fell.
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### Author:  [@Shoujin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoujin)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/4 "2013-01-09T00:33:48Z")
> [@Black\_Bisector](#):
>
> Shaka, when the walls fell.
Today is a good day to die.
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### Author:  [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/5 "2013-01-09T01:10:53Z")
Could you guys speed it up? I need to hand in this paper tomorrow.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/6 "2013-01-09T01:14:25Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#):
>
> \
> Discuss.
Whether or not you’re a tosser? I’m going to go with “yes.” 🙂
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### Author:  [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/7 "2013-01-09T01:19:04Z")
Everyone I’ve met called Tarquin has been a stuck up little turd. What the fuck did Tarquin the Elder expect?
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### Author:  [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/8 "2013-01-09T01:45:27Z")
The should’ve put him on a Superbus to the middle of nowhere.
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/9 "2013-01-09T02:09:53Z")
Also, Charles the Fat was just big boned.
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### Author:  [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/10 "2013-01-09T02:15:40Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#):
>
> Also, Charles the Fat was just big boned.
Philip the Fair was named for his features. But he also treated you fairly, if by that you mean he created false reasons to rob and torture you, but also did the same to all your neighbors and coworkers to be fair and equitable to everyone. Especially if you were a Templar. Or a Jew. Or a Jewish Templar.
Edward the Black Prince was white, though.
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### Author:  [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/11 "2013-01-09T02:19:38Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#):
>
> Also, Charles the Fat was just big boned.
And Edward the Confessor was notably discreet, and Ethelraed the Unready was generally well prepared.
William the Bastard was, indeed, both illegitimate and an utter arsehole though.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/12 "2013-01-09T02:32:13Z")
> [@Steophan](#):
>
> \
>
> William the Bastard was, indeed, both illegitimate and an utter arsehole though.
When you get a nickname like “The Bastard,” it’s usually well-earned. 🙂
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### Author:  [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/13 "2013-01-09T02:37:25Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#):
>
> Edward the Black Prince was white, though.
[I’ve heard it both ways.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11915102&postcount=94)
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### Author:  [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/14 "2013-01-09T02:48:06Z")
Oh, and you know something? The Artist Formerly Known as Prince IS NOT A PRINCE AT ALL!
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### Author:  [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/15 "2013-01-09T02:50:56Z")
Similarly, Timur the Lame was not lame at all. He was freakin’ _awesome!_
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### Author:  [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/16 "2013-01-09T03:22:13Z")
On the other hand, come to think of it, Vaclav the Good was pretty decent, while Boleslav the Cruel was a straight up dick.
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### Author:  [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/17 "2013-01-09T03:24:38Z")
arrogant is a better word for superbus imho tbqh
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### Author:  [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/18 "2013-01-09T03:30:05Z")
is superbus that amazing game where you have to drive across nevada to get one point, then back again?
wait, actually that’s desert bus. play it here: [http://desertbus-game.org/](http://desertbus-game.org/)
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### Author:  [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/19 "2013-01-09T04:13:06Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#):
>
> Also, Charles the Fat was just big boned.
And Charles the Bald merely had a receding hairline.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2013, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558/20 "2013-01-09T04:27:31Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#):
>
> Seriously, this Tarquinus guy was a completel loser and he KNEW it. Bastard lost the entire Roman Empire evenn before it was an EMPIRE! Utter tosser. Probably offed himself out of shame, so he should NOT be called the Proud.
>
> Discuss.
You know, when Tarquin was lying there on his deathbed, do you imagine he was thinking about work? No, he was thinking about his family: his wife, Betty Tarquin, his sons Tarquin Junior and Joshius, and his daughter The Girl. And Tarquin was thinking about the little things like sitting around the dinner table and going on family trips and taking the boys to their JV Gladiatorial practice. Little things maybe - but the kind of little things that bring a family together which really makes them pretty big things when you think about it. And it was those things that Tarquin was most proud of. Well, that and slaughtering the Sabines.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarquinus-the-proud-was-not-proud/646558.md?page=2)