# Tarzan swinging on vines **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 23, 2014, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313 "2014-09-23T06:10:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/61 "2014-09-25T16:52:07Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I’d think Spidey would have no problem with his spider strength. Well, spider strength…🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/62 "2014-09-25T17:53:18Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > We’re all dumping our DNA into the environment all day long - it’s called skin cells. That sentence didn’t end how I thought it would. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/63 "2014-09-25T18:38:35Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > So depending on which story line you follow, Parker is dumping either synthetic web chemicals, or HIS OWN DNA into NYC sewers. What’s breeding down there? Eight legged albino alligators? > > I gotta drink less cola. Well, the same radioactive ooze that blinded Matt Murdock fell into the sewer and landed on four dime store turtles and a rat. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/64 "2014-09-25T18:57:16Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > But you’re assuming that all he does is swing. He regularly alights briefly and launches again, and his upward jumps are regularly 4 or 5 stories. Now see, that there is part of my problem. If you can jump 4 or 5 stories, why the hell would you need a web? If my math is correct, that’s like doing 0 to 40 mph in about a tenth of a second. Which would imply that Spidey can outrun Bugatti Veyrons and jump over anything in his way. I’d have to do some math, but it seems as though the web slinging would actually slow Spiderman down. Admittedly, he gets to avoid traffic, but if you’re swinging on a pendulum, half the time you’re actually converting velocity back into kinetic energy so you’re slowing down. Also, the max speed you get from starting at five stories (50 feet, more or less) is 40mph, so it’s a good thing that Spidey is always chasing perps in NYC traffic. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/65 "2014-09-25T21:55:12Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > 60 feet! I’m sure it seemed like it as a kid. I was 16 at the time, it was 50-60 feet. The tree was at the edge of an embankment. We would hold the vine and walk left or right and swing out and over to the other side. ---
**Author:** ![The\_mayor\_of\_Urf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b3f665/32.png) [@The\_mayor\_of\_Urf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_mayor_of_Urf)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/66 "2014-09-26T22:18:55Z")
Without careful pruning and route planning, it’s impossible. Trees have the inconvenient habit of growing branches, twigs and leaves in every direction around them, the chances of getting one of these stuck into your body at the end of a high speed, uncontrolled, swing into a tree are pretty high. By the way, if I had to do that sort of thing on a daily basis while only wearing a loin cloth I’d be quite wary of where my crown jewels ended up. I always suspected that that was the source of Tarzan’s inhuman scream. Source: I’m an arborist, I spend more on trees than your average chimp. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/67 "2014-09-26T22:38:05Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Can’t miss a chance to show off a rare word. The term for this type of locomotion is _brachiation_. > > You’re welcome. 😃 Not really. Brachiation is how apes move by swinging under branches using only their arms instead of walking on the branches with all fours (as most monkeys usually do). ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2014, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/68 "2014-09-28T00:10:36Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Just be glad Spiderman doesn’t use [ballooning](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballooning_(spider)). Didn’t work too well for [these guys](https://www.google.com/search?q=far+side+ballooning+comic&espv=2&biw=1472&bih=733&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=4_khVNWWJq3b8AG90oDoCA&ved=0CB0QsAQ#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=SCIRj3vM-snZqM%253A%3B7dBo00x-HmDWHM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fmedia-cache-ec0.pinimg.com%252F236x%252Fda%252F41%252Fd8%252Fda41d859e450280d02518bbb2c27aefc.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.pinterest.com%252Fljbean3%252Fthe-far-side-~-gary-larson%252F%3B236%3B320). Listen, ya mangy mutt, wag more & bark less if you don’t know what you’re talking [about](https://www.dropbox.com/s/44889lak3ahhtyq/20140726_072935.jpg). 😛 As for the rest of [del]y’all[/del] you, you know, given about ⅓ of the posts are about me, you could have invited me to participate. :o ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2014, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/69 "2014-09-28T00:15:36Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > Listen, ya mangy mutt, wag more & bark less if you don’t know what you’re talking [about](https://www.dropbox.com/s/44889lak3ahhtyq/20140726_072935.jpg). 😛 > As for the rest of [del]y’all[/del] you, you know, given about ⅓ of the posts are about me, you could have invited me to participate. :o We knew you would swing by sooner or later. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2014, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/70 "2014-09-28T00:31:02Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > Listen, ya mangy mutt, wag more & bark less if you don’t know what you’re talking [about](https://www.dropbox.com/s/44889lak3ahhtyq/20140726_072935.jpg). 😛 Where the hell have you been? [Oh, right](https://www.google.com/search?q=spiderman+thanksgiving+parade&espv=2&biw=1368&bih=733&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=RlMnVL8Jxf_JBKqtgpAN&ved=0CB0QsAQ#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=ARAzImL4hQbUzM%253A%3BTdOlPEmJL_WPkM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww4.pictures.zimbio.com%252Fgi%252FSpider%252BMan%252B86th%252BAnnual%252BMacy%252BThanksgiving%252BDay%252BWaU2dPWgOwkl.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.zimbio.com%252Fpictures%252FRNMvbY-6YDh%252F86th%252BAnnual%252BMacy%252BThanksgiving%252BDay%252BParade%252FWaU2dPWgOwk%252FSpider-Man%3B594%3B396). > [@](#): > > As for the rest of [del]y’all[/del] you, you know, given about ⅓ of the posts are about me, you could have invited me to participate. :o You’re the one with the spidey sense. Mary Jane says you’ve been drinking again. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2014, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/71 "2014-09-28T03:24:45Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Where the hell have you been? [Oh, right](https://www.google.com/search?q=spiderman+thanksgiving+parade&espv=2&biw=1368&bih=733&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=RlMnVL8Jxf_JBKqtgpAN&ved=0CB0QsAQ#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=ARAzImL4hQbUzM%253A%3BTdOlPEmJL_WPkM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww4.pictures.zimbio.com%252Fgi%252FSpider%252BMan%252B86th%252BAnnual%252BMacy%252BThanksgiving%252BDay%252BWaU2dPWgOwkl.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.zimbio.com%252Fpictures%252FRNMvbY-6YDh%252F86th%252BAnnual%252BMacy%252BThanksgiving%252BDay%252BParade%252FWaU2dPWgOwk%252FSpider-Man%3B594%3B396). Actually, I have been known to spend the [night](https://www.dropbox.com/s/rbn1pezx5j9vohg/Sleeping%20under%20a%20web.jpg) with him. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2014, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/72 "2014-09-28T12:11:59Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Mythbusters showed the acrobat who could send a porch swing thing in a 360 loop using just his body movement. It wasn’t easy to do but I’d think Spidey would have no problem with his spider strength. It also required a swing with rigid arms instead of flexible chains/ropes/webs. > [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > That sentence didn’t end how I thought it would. Let’s keep my hobby out of this. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/73 "2014-10-01T18:18:41Z")
My mother and her siblings fondly recall swinging on “grapevines” (as they describe them) across a creek when they were children. The vines would grow up the trees next to the creek and then hang down. Ergo, the issue of the base of the vine being rooted is not a problem. BTW: I used the “creek” spelling despite their “crick” pronunciation. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2014, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/74 "2014-10-01T18:25:01Z")
Why the quotes around “grapevines”? And to rural folks (or at least, the rural folks to whom I’m related), there’s a difference between a creek and a crick. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/75 "2014-10-02T02:29:32Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Why the quotes around “grapevines”? They weren’t really grapevines. Just some type of vine. I did this, too as a kid. We discovered some fairly supple vines in the woods we played in and found that we could loosen them from the trees and then swing on them. Not over a creek, but just running out around the tree on the high side, and swinging around to the other side of the tree. Loads of fun, at the time. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/76 "2014-10-02T11:44:31Z")
I thought they were specifically lianas? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/77 "2014-10-03T15:26:16Z")
I can’t imagine what other sort of vine they’d be, in the continental US, and grapevines are quite common and can be used as you describe. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/78 "2014-10-03T15:57:29Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > As for the rest of [del]y’all[/del] you, you know, given about ⅓ of the posts are about me, you could have invited me to participate. :o Hey Spiderman, how does your wall crawling abilities work when you’re wearing gloves and boots 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/79 "2014-10-03T20:23:36Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I can’t imagine what other sort of vine they’d be, in the continental US, and grapevines are quite common and can be used as you describe. Poison oak… ---
**Author:** ![slowlearner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@slowlearner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slowlearner)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313/80 "2014-10-04T00:49:15Z")
OMG Maureen O’Sullivan in those little shorties! Only Johnny W himself ever had a nicer ass… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tarzan-swinging-on-vines/699313.md?page=5)