Tarzan swinging on vines

The webbing conveniently dissolves after a short period of time.

Probably the dumbest swinging was done by Silver Age Batman. Every time Commissioner Gordon lit up the Bat Signal, B & R would come swinging in from somewhere, presumably a building across the street. But where were their ropes affixed that would permit their swing to terminate at the roof of police hq? And what did they do, take the elevator across the street to the roof or clamber up the side like on the old tv show? And where did they keep all that rope when they weren’t swinging on it?

I gotta drink less coffee.

I think the vine-swinging was a misunderstanding (or deliberate misrepresentation) of how smaller apes like gibbons travel through the trees.

All stories are shaped like themselves.

You left out the fact that he was doing it in a voluminous cape. I love (certain versions of) Batman, but I can never accept that wide-ass cape. Unless you’re a Kryptonian, a Daxamite, or Thor, capes don’t work.

(Anyone who mentions The Incredibles at this juncture will be beaten with a stick.)

That’s crazy talk.

You guys are no fun. :wink:

Only tangentially related, but I always thought Paul McCartney’s “Blackbird” (from The White Album) should have started:

Blackbird swingin’ on a Tarzan viiiiiiiiine

So depending on which story line you follow, Parker is dumping either synthetic web chemicals, or HIS OWN DNA into NYC sewers. What’s breeding down there? Eight legged albino alligators?

I gotta drink less cola.

Pete’s not rinsing web fluid down the toilet. The webs are disintegrating while above-ground. The resultant web-particles are going airborne and being dispersed by the wind and–

Wait. That’s probably worse. Never mind.

That’s probably true.

Does it contribute to climate change? Should he be required to pay for carbon offsets?

When frightened criminals fire wildly at the looming black figure coming for them, they hit the swirling cape and not the [del]demon[/del] [del]Nemesis[/del] [del]monstrous bat[/del] man inside it. :stuck_out_tongue:

Tarzan has a network of ropes disguised as vines hanging throughout the jungle. He is after all an Apeman capable of installing his own infrastructure.

Without a cape, Zorro is pretty much just the Dread Pirate Westley.

Which reminds me of a joke from my childhood:

Q: What were Tarzan’s last words?
A: Who greased the vine?

Take…that…back.

In the first place, it’s the Dread Pirate ROBERTS.

In the second place, all iterations of the Dread Pirate Robeorts, including Westley, are lying, girlfriend-abusing, girlfriend-abusing, murderous scum.

In the third place I mentioned Zorro in my previous post; you just missed it because I wrote “Zorro” in an invisible font.

In the fourth place anyone who points out the blatant lie in the previous paragraph will have his or her sweet potato pie ration confiscated.

It covers up the multitude of ropes and pulleys that he carries about, dummy.
:rolleyes:

I hay never seen you and Say McIntosh together at the same time.

That explains much. :dubious:

More information, please. Check where? Is there a book? I’d be interested in reading it.

I was at the San Diego Zoo, studying the vines as they wreathed through the gibbon cage…and suddenly laughed out loud. The vines formed a continuous loop. They’re artificial!

When I was young and lithe, I could do this from gymnasium ropes. I was pretty good at switching from one to the next. Dumb and dangerous (even with padded matting.) But, damn, it sure was fun!

Obligatory vine-swinging video (SFW).

Perhaps I’m nuts, but I have a faint inkling of a memory of a Tarzan movie where he specifically sets up his vines for specific routes, so he’s not just grabbing random lianas. The way this would work is that whenever he grabs a new vine, he somehow fastens the old one to the interchange spot, which he uses when retracing his route. So, if he restricts himself to an already set-up star network, he can always get out and back.

Of course, the interchange spots would have to be carefully chosen not to be tree trunks but still to have a way to (very quickly) attach the vines.

There is a way to go from point A to point B without a preset trail, if there are enough vines hanging from high branches (not too close to trunks!), well-secured, and if you have enough initial height. When grabbing a new vine at the extremity of a swing, you don’t let go of the old vine. You hang on to it and swing back (the direction you came) while letting the new vine slip through your fingers. Before running out of new vine, or before you hit the end of the swing back, let go of the old vine and grip the new one. You’re now significantly lower, but you could (in theory) keep playing this game until you reach the ground, then climb back up and try again. I have not tested this hypothesis, but it seems sound, if a bit chancy and dependent on a lot of unlikely factors (not to mention the problems you face whenever your new vine isn’t anchored above and free below, which is the opposite of normal.)

Well, he can always shoot his web to a wall on the other side of the street (and down the street), and hope for a high coefficient of restitution when he hits the opposing wall. He has it way over Tarzan in that he can pick the attachment point of his next “vine”. He could also add some momentum if his webs can shrink when he wants them to (thanks to being loaded with comic-book energy.)

Just be glad Spiderman doesn’t use ballooning. Didn’t work too well for these guys.