# Tasteless Haiku **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 2002, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755 "2002-12-10T13:35:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![IGJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/igjoe/32/5420_2.png) [@IGJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IGJoe)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/21 "2002-12-11T01:16:08Z")
warm, salty, and wet it flows over my body the Golden Shower **Ogre** , that may be the Single Greatest Thing I have ever seen in my life. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/22 "2002-12-11T01:42:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by clayton\_e \* > \*\ ***Blackeyes** takes the cake! \*\* Oooh, sounds like a good first line… **Blackeyes** takes the cake! Slowly unzips his trousers. Frosts the cake himself. (Sorry, Blackeyes! 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/23 "2002-12-11T04:05:14Z")
AAACKK!!! SOOOOO WRONG!!! ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/24 "2002-12-11T04:12:00Z")
Thanks ever so much, **Mr. Pud**. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/25 "2002-12-11T04:37:04Z")
You think we don’t but – We do. Only not with you. C’est la vie, my love. ---
**Author:** ![fizgig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f04885/32.png) [@fizgig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizgig)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/26 "2002-12-11T04:38:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monstre \* > \*\*Oooh, sounds like a good first line… > **Blackeyes** takes the cake! > Slowly unzips his trousers. > Frosts the cake himself. > (Sorry, Blackeyes! 😃 ) \*\* Never underestimate the beauty of poetry. 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Xex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Captain\_Xex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Xex)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/27 "2002-12-11T08:01:50Z")
Sweet boy, drink it up Lonely father; out of milk 'Tad salty, don’t cry… ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/28 "2002-12-11T09:04:20Z")
My Asian fetish Has driven me to the East I’m now in heaven Our night of passion Will not soon be forgottenIt burns when I pee IM’s not easy I can’t type very quickly Only one hand free ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/29 "2002-12-11T09:06:52Z")
Damn it all to hell I thought there was a line break Preview is my friend (another try) Our night of passion Will not soon be forgotten It burns when I pee ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/30 "2002-12-11T12:36:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monstre \* > \*\*Oooh, sounds like a good first line… > **Blackeyes** takes the cake! > Slowly unzips his trousers. > Frosts the cake himself. > (Sorry, Blackeyes! 😃 ) \*\* Went to friend **Blackeye’s** House, ostensibly for cake… Tastes kinda salty… ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/31 "2002-12-11T13:24:29Z")
Mmmm, computer porn. It converts my floppy disk into a hard drive. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/32 "2002-12-11T13:25:18Z")
Blackeyes gives me milk to wash down salty cake crust oh lord, it’s man juice glorious penis hard in my pants while working erect but confined (that last one, based on a true story. ) ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/33 "2002-12-11T16:49:19Z")
Actually Haiku structure of haiku relates to the character count of the poem 😕 it’s 5 characters, 7 then 5. In japanese the characters are made up of vowel pairings… a i u e o ka ki ku ke ko ha hi fu he ho ta chi tsu te to na ni nu ne no sa shi su se so ma mi mu me mo ra ri ru re ro ya yu yo wa (o) and one for n/m Well hiragana is at least 😕 But anyway, if I recall correctly haiku are counted by the hiragana characters. IE: Yemi no biki koumou no kino Aibu yubi Which translated means (I’m really really hoping this is correct, I think my grammar is and so is my word choice) Dreams of a beautiful woman Red hair of silk Caresses fingers. In all a TOTAL pain in the ass to write. Not only do you have to know what rules of grammer you can voilate (which I don’t) and know all of the subtleties of the language (which I also don’t) you still end up with something that doesn’t translate well 😕 ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/34 "2002-12-11T16:50:52Z")
Actually looking back I think I used some impolite forms of some words and a few colloqualisms (spelling?!?!?!!) I always did suck at japanese literature. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/35 "2002-12-11T17:02:30Z")
Was your word choice impolite enough to be called “tasteless?” 🙂 If so, welcome to a disturbing thread. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/36 "2002-12-11T17:36:03Z")
CRorex’s poem is easily fixed to be suitable for this thread… Dreams: a beautiful girl’s red silk hair, I kiss her Deep…damn, it’s my dog. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/37 "2002-12-11T17:44:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by slortar \* > \*\*Went to friend **Blackeye’s** > House, ostensibly for cake… > Tastes kinda salty… \*\* Another slice please. So, what kind of cake is this? Thought you said **crumb** cake. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/38 "2002-12-11T21:18:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ogre \* > \*\*Was your word choice impolite enough to be called “tasteless?” 🙂 > > If so, welcome to a disturbing thread. \*\* Hey my loose stools haiku or the eating squirrels one weren’t in poor taste? Ok lets go with this: Puss yellow and thick From my most beloved member Do not squick the corspes Large enchanced breastsTribute to modern medicine Make my dog sexy ---
**Author:** ![Young\_Mr.Grace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e47c2d/32.png) [@Young\_Mr.Grace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Young_Mr.Grace)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/39 "2002-12-12T02:10:04Z")
Ah! Internet Porn It’s a million and one ways to grow hairy palms I’m surfing at work Oh no! History traces have unemployed me! ---
**Author:** ![Young\_Mr.Grace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e47c2d/32.png) [@Young\_Mr.Grace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Young_Mr.Grace)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755/40 "2002-12-12T02:14:49Z")
Thought of another one… Media Player The glow of the monitor and Jergens lotion [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-haiku/141755.md?page=3)