# Tasteless jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 18, 2007, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567 "2007-09-18T01:50:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/1 "2007-09-18T01:50:33Z")
Pavarotti meets St Peter at the pearly gates. St Peter says “Welcome my friend.God is looking forward to meeting you and hearing your wonderful voice.” Pavarotti says “Thank you so much. I have a note here for you from the Pope.” “Oh” He opens the letter and it reads: “Here’s that tenor I owe you.” ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/2 "2007-09-18T01:55:12Z")
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? cough, cough ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/3 "2007-09-18T02:11:35Z")
> [@](#): > > cough, cough You WIN! ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/4 "2007-09-18T06:42:50Z")
What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they were both stuck up cunts. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/5 "2007-09-18T06:51:08Z")
What’s gray and comes in quarts? An elephant. What should you do if an elephant comes through your door? Swim for the window! What do elephants use for tampons? Sheep. What should you do with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino. ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/6 "2007-09-18T09:04:05Z")
What did one gay sperm say to another? “How are we supposed to find an egg in all of this shit?” ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/7 "2007-09-18T09:17:26Z")
Pavarotti’s place in the line-up has been taken by Elton John. They’re going to be advertised as “Two Tenors and a Nine-Bob Note”. ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/8 "2007-09-18T10:05:10Z")
[QUOTE=pbbth] What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? cough, cough [/QUOTE] …I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/9 "2007-09-18T11:10:49Z")
[QUOTE=auRa] …I don’t get it. [/QUOTE] Think “Deep Throat”. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/10 "2007-09-18T12:26:44Z")
So, Jesus is on the cross. Jesus \: Peter? Peter: Yes? Yes, my Lord? Jesus: I can see your house from up here. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/11 "2007-09-18T12:32:28Z")
What’s Pavarotti’s wife getting this Christmas? A smaller turkey. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/12 "2007-09-18T12:51:48Z")
[QUOTE=ScareyFaerie] Pavarotti’s place in the line-up has been taken by Elton John. They’re going to be advertised as “Two Tenors and a Nine-Bob Note”. [/QUOTE] I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/13 "2007-09-18T13:05:02Z")
[QUOTE=McNew] I don’t get it. [/QUOTE] Elton John’s gay. As in “queer as a nine-bob note”. OK, so you have to be British to see the funny side… ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/14 "2007-09-18T13:14:17Z")
[QUOTE=ScareyFaerie] Elton John’s gay. As in “queer as a nine-bob note”. OK, so you have to be British to see the funny side… [/QUOTE] I’ve always heard it as “as bent as a nine-bob note”. Since there never was a nine-bob (nine shillings) note, then such a note is bound to be “bent” - meaning illegal - but thre phrase plays on the double entendre that “bent” also means homosexual. I guess “queer” would work as well. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/15 "2007-09-18T13:19:46Z")
[QUOTE=ScareyFaerie] Elton John’s gay. As in “queer as a nine-bob note”. OK, so you have to be British to see the funny side… [/QUOTE] I believe the translation to 'Merkin is “Queer as a 3-Dollar bill…” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/16 "2007-09-18T13:22:39Z")
[QUOTE=JKellyMap] Think “Deep Throat”. [/QUOTE] …wouldn’t that be ball **s** then?.. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/17 "2007-09-18T13:30:28Z")
In 1st grade class, the teacher was going through the alphabet and having kids spell words that begin with each letter… Teacher: OK, class, who can spell a word that begins with “A”? Mary: I can! Apple…A-P-P-L-E… Teacher: Very good, Mary…OK, who can spell a word that begins with “B”? Eddie: I can! Banana B-A-N-A-N-A… …and so on…until the teacher reaches “W”… Teacher: OK, who can spell a word that begins with “W”? Johnny: I can! Womb…W-O-M-B… Teacher: Very good, Johnny…that’s where babies come from, right? Johnny: No, it’s the sound of two elephants fucking…WOMB! WOMB! WOMB!.. (speaking of Onomatopoeia) ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/18 "2007-09-18T13:56:47Z")
[QUOTE=auRa] …wouldn’t that be ball **s** then?.. [/QUOTE] Not if w’re talking about Cinderella the [Nazi](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_128b.html) ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/19 "2007-09-18T14:12:34Z")
Way to suck all the fun out of the Cinderella joke with your grammar, **auRa**. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567/20 "2007-09-18T14:56:42Z")
[QUOTE=pbbth] Way to suck all the fun out of the Cinderella joke with your grammar, **auRa**. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Hehe, you said “suck”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tasteless-jokes/419567.md?page=2)