# Tattling on an old sex offender. What to do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 28, 2010, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tattling-on-an-old-sex-offender-what-to-do/565652 "2010-12-28T22:24:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2010, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tattling-on-an-old-sex-offender-what-to-do/565652/81 "2010-12-31T03:27:50Z")
You’re not a mandated reporter but please tell her. Even if she doesn’t believe you at least you’ve done your best to share extremely important information. My own mom . . . very deep breath here . . . was physically and verbally abusive to me for most of my childhood. The only thing that helped to me to heal was a very good marriage and the knowledge that I told others about what she’d done openly. Hugs to you. ---
**Author:** ![Faelyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c77e96/32.png) [@Faelyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faelyn)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tattling-on-an-old-sex-offender-what-to-do/565652/82 "2010-12-31T14:44:21Z")
I also think you should tell. Put yourself in the GF’s shoes, if you were her wouldn’t you want to know? Speaking from experience, although I can’t provide certainty. I have infrequent flashes of memory from a young age where I’m alone with my father and something feels _very, very wrong_. It’s not always the same settings, there’s three that come at random. My parents divorced when I was 5, so if something happened, it was before then. The flashes started when I was about 15 or so, and I’ve since been very uncomfortable being alone with him. It hasn’t happened like it used to in a couple years, but they’re vivid enough in my memory that I can recall them. But that’s all it is, a memory of a memory. I can’t say for sure if something happened to me or not, or if it was just my imagination, and so I’ve never told anyone besides a friend who I’m no longer in contact with. Please tell her. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2011, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tattling-on-an-old-sex-offender-what-to-do/565652/83 "2011-01-01T00:49:45Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > It was very recently brought to my attention that my father, who molested me several times when I was 11 (15 years ago), also molested another young female in our family. One of my cousins. I didn’t tell anyone about it until I was 24 (couple years back), and she didn’t tell anyone until just now. I was not aware that this was something that had happened to anyone other than me, and for various reasons it got me thinking. > > The statute of limitations on filing charges tolled a long time ago, so I’m not looking to do that. I am wondering if I should out these skeletons to his girlfriend. I do not know much about her or whether she has any children, but I have a legitimate concern that he may do things to another young girl if given the opportunity. I haven’t been in contact with him for a few years now. But I know that I could get his address from my sister. > > I guess I just wonder if I should say anything to her, or if I should just keep doing what I’m doing now (which is nothing). I was reasonably content to just cut off contact with him but again, I am worried about him re-offending if given the opportunity. > > Thoughts? Yes of course. Indeed I find it to be honest morally imperative you do it. Who else might he hurt? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tattling-on-an-old-sex-offender-what-to-do/565652.md?page=4)