# Teacher/Student Relationship Debate... **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 16, 2001, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262 "2001-01-16T02:32:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262/21 "2001-01-20T00:52:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoggie \* > \*\*Oh Adolph. Let’s be serious. 🙂 > > Let me throw another question out onto the “floor.” I hate that expression, actually, but what I want to ask is: Is it unethical to do something like this in college? Like, if a student and a professor sleep together? This very same situation took place in “Friends”, when Ross dates a girl who was formerly his student but not anymore. He thought it was “frowned upon” but its actually school policy. Even though the girl in this case had to have been at least 18. > > No…I do other things besides watch the telly…! Really! 😛 \*\* Actually that sort of thing wasn’t uncommon when I went to school (1972- 76). I believe these days it’s really frowned upon, definately can get folks in trouble if the student is taking a class from the professor/grad student. It isn’t the age, it’s the possability that the relationship isn’t a totally above board choice - if I sleep with you, I’ll get a better grade kind of thing (and in that case, it doesn’t matter if the question is spoken - it could be argued that the student expected the better grade 'cause of it, etc.) IMHO, it’s not a good idea to have an independant power structure superimposed on a relationship (you don’t give me a good grade, I can get you fired/you will flunk this class unless you sleep with me…). ---
**Author:** ![Ankh\_Too](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Ankh\_Too](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ankh_Too)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262/22 "2001-01-20T00:53:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doctor Jackson \* > \*\* > > It’s most probably illegal in Georgia, anyway. Georgia has a statute that makes it illegal for anyone in a position of legal authority to have sex with a person under their authority. Consent nor age have anything to do with it. Most often this is prosecuted with respect to jailer/convict, police/detainee, etc. Though I don’t know of any examples, I would assume that “en loco parentis” would make the teacher/student relationship prosecutable under the same statute. > \*\* But does the school/teacher still stand “en loco parentis” for a student who is over 18 and a legal adult? ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262/23 "2001-01-20T01:34:40Z")
“Georgia has a statute that makes it illegal for anyone in a position of legal authority to have sex with a person under their authority.” I get from the OP that the student wasn’t one of the teachers own students. However, all schools in the US have laws on teacher/student relationships Im sure that fall also under sexual harrassment. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262/24 "2001-01-20T10:51:39Z")
I’m a psychology tutor at the university. I teach as many as four fifty-minute classes that each meet once per week. We tutors do the introductory psychology classes, and we run the entire show ourselves; there’s no professor or TA there to back us up. We also assign homework and give out grades. In short, we have the same basic job that most professors do. (Yes, I know, professors do a lot more than that, but just go along with me here.) In the beginning of each semester, we are given a speech about why it’s important that we not date our students. Nothing unusual about that; we’re about the same age they are, and it has happened in the past. The reason we’re given why we’re forbidden from having relationships with our students is because it would interfere with the perception of the objectivity we’re supposed to have in evaluating our students. It doesn’t matter if we’re fair, honest people who would never let a romance get in the way of being fair to begin with; it’s the _perception_ of our impartiality that counts. The fear is not so much that the student half of the couple would get better grades than they deserved, but that others in the class would think that they were. Of course, once the semester’s done and the grades are submitted, we’re free to collect as many phone numbers as we can get.😃 Whether it is ethical for us to date our students at all is never discussed. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262/25 "2001-01-20T16:36:16Z")
I knew a french professor who would have sex with some of his students. I asked him what he gave them in the class & he said “A” & added, ‘but they were already ‘A’ students’…yeah, right… ---
**Author:** ![SuperNova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SuperNova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNova)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262/26 "2001-01-20T23:27:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nowalls99 \* > \*\* > The way I see it, as long as both people are consenting adults, and the student in question is not enrolled in a class taught by the teacher in question, it’s none of my business what they do together. Let’s say the teacher is a first or second year teacher. That makes them about 22 or 23 years old. If the 18 year old student was dating and sleeping with a 23 year old college student, or a 23 year old mechanic, or any 23 year old that isn’t a teacher, would anyone really care? Her parents maybe, but that’s their job. But, in the OP, the situation was that she lied to him about her age, and sought him out. This means that she consented to it, and, at 18, is legally an adult. I don’t see a problem with it. \*\* I had a situation similar to this in my school. A senior and a young teacher. To make a long story short, now they are both teachers at my school, and are married. They took four years off while she was at college. The relationship they had while she was a student is a widely circulating rumour that is almost certainly true, but it was a well kept secret while she was a senior, and now (at least to me) it seems pointless to fire sometone for a relationship that developed so much. ---
**Author:** ![flavius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/958977/32.png) [@flavius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flavius)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262/27 "2001-01-21T02:04:09Z")
I don’t have time to fully expound on this one right now, but I will suggest that many of our neuroses and anxieties in the western world come from the unnatural constraining and repression of sexuality. The Polynesians had one of the happiest, most carefree societies on the Earth before whitey came barging in with compulsory christianity and the dreaded missionary position. And…some of the most exciting…spiciest, if you will, sexual exchanges arise from CONTRAST. A horny 40 year-old making it with a horny 18 (or 16!) year old is a blast for both parties. We have the technology, but we (at every age level) lack the emotional maturity and freedom to properly enjoy our brief stay in this world. I know if I could have done it with one of my hot teachers back in HS it would’ve been great for me and hopefully her (or them!) as well. Let’s get hands-on with sex-ed as if it were any other exciting art or craft (since it’s both!) …All right prudes, blast away!!! -Flavius. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262/28 "2001-01-22T00:50:02Z")
😕 Flavius…please tell me you’re not serious? I’m not quite sure how to respond. In answer to what you said, I really don’t think it’s right for a sixteen year old to be having sex with a forty year old. Maybe both want it, but the problem of the teacher having authority over the student overcomplicates it… ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262/29 "2001-01-22T01:11:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by broccoli! \* > **friedo** I am afraid you’re hitting the nail on the head there… These shows are so pathetically unrealistic. Since when do really really hot young chicks dig dorky looking bald guys who could pass for their mid-thirties? I’ve never seen that. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Dammit, I say that if Courtney Cox would marry David Arquette, there is still hope (and Rogaine) for me!! Sua ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262/30 "2001-01-24T23:04:23Z")
Okay i’ve been watching BP and it turns out that the student in question- Lisa- wants to transfer to another school so that it will be legal for her and Milton Buttle (said teacher) to date. However, _he’s_ afraid of what people will think. Will people suspect that they were dating before she transferred, that kind of thing. The whole “how will it look” vs. “it’s perfectly legal!” thing is coming up. Of course, it came up sooner on the board, but we can’t expect a lowly television show to be as on the ball as we are. Just thought i’d post an update. ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262/31 "2001-01-25T00:08:34Z")
Somewhat tangental comment on the OP-- Lisa’s character seems to be written as a bit of a bitch, or maybe manipulator is a better word; I’m thinking of the attitude she cops when approached by other teachers. Granted the behavior of some of the teacher characters is eons away from real, acceptable teacher behavior (was it last week that the one guy walked up to Lisa and said something like, “So, are you sleeping with Milton?”), but I think the writers may be trying to add an extra twist here. She’s not made out to be some starry-eyed girl; she obviously has quite a strong will of her own. That said, I wanted to comment on what **AudreyK** said about the perception of impartiality. I work for Columbia University, and last time I checked, our policy on this subject stated that not only is actual impropriety to be avoided, so is the _appearance_ of impropriety. I’ve known people who had jobs that involved no direct impact on students’ academic records, yet they were flat out told that they could _not_ date students, because it would look bad. One thing I’ve been wondering as I’ve watched recent BP episodes is whether or not the other teachers who know what’s going on will be held accountable in any way for not reporting it. They are essentially covering up a major breach of policy. Sorry if that sounds like a hijack! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262/32 "2001-01-25T21:23:20Z")
I’m thinking of starting a Boston Pub Discussion Thread. So that I can talk about a lot of non debate stuff. Yeah, I was wondering. Kevin Riley knew about it from (almost) the beginning. And he said he wasn’t sure what he’d do…I’m wondering if he’ll get fired? I don’t think Lisa was a bitch. i thought she was pretty mature, good looking, and smart. A nice contrast from (IMHO) Dana Poole, a true uber-bitch. I thought the writers were trying to show her as a normal person. Though lying to Milton wasn’t exactly a great thing, I agree. Still, it’s just a TV program and I rather like her as a character. Hmmm. Better start that Discussion thread soon… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teacher-student-relationship-debate/50262.md?page=1)