# Teachers/professors: Ever hear from former students?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [April 12, 2007, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779 "2007-04-12T10:54:49Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2007, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/1 "2007-04-12T10:54:49Z")
I mean, I’m sure you do, but I was wondering.
Actually, more to the point, I’m wondering about one of my former teachers. Last week, I called my old high school, asking about this guy, who I figured would have retired by now, but would probably still be alive.
The school’s website had a number to call if you want to reach another alumnus or a faculty member. But there was no answer, so on a whim, since it was schooltime out there, I called the school’s main office. I was informed that he is indeed retired but still alive, and was transferred over to another office worker who said they go to the same church, and that she would give him my number and email addy “this week.”
But “this week” was Easter, and I’m skeptical about the chances of her finding him in the crowd. It’s entirely possible that she got there, figured, “I’ll tell him next week,” and when next week comes, she’ll have forgotten. I figure I’ll wait until the middle of next week, then call the number on the website again.
While I’m waiting, and trying not to think, “But what if he falls and can’t get up before then?” does anyone have any anecdotes to share about former students/teachers?
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### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2007, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/2 "2007-04-12T11:25:22Z")
I have two sorts of relationships with former students–ones I keep in some sort of vauge touch with over the years, and ones that I don’t ever hear from that then pop up. The former type I value-one or two have even evolved into good friends. The later are often very nice to see, but it can be awkward, as well. A lot of this is because I change a lot. I am not the same teacher now that I was a few years back. They often seem to expect me to remember everything about them and about their years at school, and frankly, that is sometimes pretty blury. I shift gears slowly, and when I am in “this year” it’s difficult for me to switch to “X year” mode abruptly.
I am not saying any of this to discourage you–I really do love hearing from old students. But it can be awkward, and if it is it doesn’t mean they didn’t love you to pieces. It’s just odd sometimes.
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2007, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/3 "2007-04-12T11:28:37Z")
Well, he liked me enough to give me a graduation present, and to visit me at college with his family when they were passing through. He may not have thought of me since then, but he was not “meh” towards me when I was his student.
Anyway, I’m calling more to let him know how I’m doing now than to rehash old times. I actually don’t expect him to remember much of anything, except perhaps my odd hairstyle. I was just hoping he’d be pleased in a generic way to know that he made a difference, even if he doesn’t remember how that came about.
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### Author:  [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2007, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/4 "2007-04-12T11:46:52Z")
Oh, if you were that close, he will be really happy to hear from you, I bet. I heard from a former (from 1986!) student last week and it was a blast to catch up with her.
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### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2007, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/5 "2007-04-12T12:18:01Z")
I’ve TA’d, tutored (mostly one-day “revelation” tutoring), taught Sunday school and done corporate training. Never had an old student look me up specifically, but several of my old students have sent their regards through my relatives and greet me with a big smile years after the teaching took place. I take that as a sign that I actually teach half-decently 😃
My primary school is a lot less accessible than either my high school or college so I’m not likely to do this, but often if I’m in the area of my HS/college I’ll go in and say hi to old acquaintances. Kind of funny that some of the kids I babysat are now teachers in my HS.
Going into the HS and seeing Father Mendiburu (whom I had in 7th and 8th grade) walking in the “cloister” with his breviary, looking white-haired instead of grey- brought my heart to a stop (or maybe it was something I ate, but I think it was the sight). The light on his face when he finished his prayers, walked into the shadowed hallway and greeted me by name… man. It had been something like twenty years!
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2007, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/6 "2007-04-12T14:00:10Z")
What **Manda JO** said. I keep in touch with a number of former students, both because they judge for my debate teams and because several of them teach on my campus! But ones who pop up after years of no contact have to remember that I barely remember **last years** students, much less a quiet senior from 18 years ago.
The fun part is when I get kids of former students. At least the parents can’t say they didn’t know the classroom procedures and expectations!
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### Author:  [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2007, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/7 "2007-04-12T14:07:02Z")
I ran into my third grade music teacher some fifteen years later, and she greeted me by name as if I had just missed class the day before. I couldn’t place her face, but I knew her name and was quickly taken back to memory lane.
My girlfriend still keeps in touch with her favorite teacher. She brings me a long to tea about 3-4 times per year, and we all chat about whatever’s bothering us and life in general for a few hours, and go our separate ways.
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### Author:  [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2007, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/8 "2007-04-12T14:28:13Z")
A former elementary student contacted a teacher at our little school after he graduated from Harvard, and he credited her with his success.
That was pretty dang cool.
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### Author:  [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2007, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/9 "2007-04-12T20:26:36Z")
IANA teacher, but this seems very appropriate to this thread:
[QUOTE=email from Kevbo]
Hello Mrs. H\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
If you are not the teacher formerly known as Miss A\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, that
later married my algebra teacher, Mr. H\_\_\_\_\_, then please disregard
the remainder of this message. But since I think I’ve got the right
V\_\_\_\_ H\_\_\_\_, I’ll press on.
On edit: I don’t make a habit of referring to myself in the third
person, but since some of this feels like bragging on myself, which
makes me uncomfortable, it made all this easier to say…
Way, way back in the spring of 1980 you told an unpopular, awkward
kid with big feet, behavior problems and poor grades, that you
thought he should have been the newspaper editor. (instead of the
other kid who got chosen because he was popular) The kid had stayed
late, and alone to finish the paste-up for the last edition of the
school paper. You told the kid you were proud of his hard work, and
gave him a squeeze and a peck on the cheek. ( which back then you
could get away with). The kid had never been told that before. There
was no doubt in the kid’s mind that you meant it.
Though it was far too late in the game to make any difference in high
school, starting from right then, the kid pretty much turned his whole
life around.
The kid’s HS grades were so poor he was refused admission to all the
universities he applied to. M\_\_\_ State College apparently had lower
standards, so the kid went there for a couple of years, making
straight A’s. In those two years, the kid also grew about 5 inches
taller. (so his feet didn’t look so big anymore) The kid’s goal was an
engineering degree, though, and M\_\_\_\_ didn’t have a school of
engineering.
So the kid transferred to The University of \_\_\_\_\_\_ \_\_\_\_\_\_. Three
years later, he graduated (BS Electrical Engineering) with
honors…Tau Beta Pi, Eta Kappa Nu…in fact his senior year he was
the HKN chapter president.
The kid worked 30-40 hrs/week the whole way through school, except for
the last semester when he got hired by the University as an
electronics lab instructor. Mostly he worked at Montgomery Ward
(remember them) Selling, paint, hardware, and eventually shoes. After
the first couple of years, he probably could have gotten scholarships,
but he was afraid if he had the time, he would start goofing off like
he did all through high school…so the the kid graduated with zero
debt.
On graduation, the kid accepted a job with an avionics company in
A\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (where he has lived since.)
The kid has changed jobs several times. He’s designed flight controls
for military jets, and surveillance systems, and nuclear assay devices
for the International Atomic Energy Agency, (IAEA) . The IAEA is
headquartered in Vienna, so the kid actually got fluent in the German
than C\_\_\_\_\_\_ M\_\_\_\_\_ and G\_\_\_\_ W\_\_\_\_\_ worked so hard to teach him. He
has been sent all over the world (Europe, Asia and Australia anyway)
to the point where he quit that job because he was sick of never being
home. In addition to a regular job, the kid runs a modest consulting
business on the side.
It turns out that the poor grades didn’t make him such a poor student.
He tends toward making them overly long, but the kid speaks and
writes in complete sentences.( unlike many of his peers). He may even
quote Shakespeare (or Burns more likely) when debating a technical
point. Your hubby D\_\_\_ will be astounded to know he’s even done a few
gigs tutoring advanced math. (Calculus, partial differential
equations).
For fun he flies Sailplanes, (Hang gliders when he was younger) rides
motorcycles, and has lately taken up the bagpipes. (I wonder if I can
find any “Who” tunes set for the pipes? If so I’ll dedicate it to you
whenever I perform such…though I’m sure you cringe at the thought)
In your job I suppose you see lots of kids that everybody assumes will
do well in life. But maybe you sometimes see one that everybody but
you thinks will be a failure. I wanted to let you know that, at least
once, you were right. And even in the last week of the last semester,
you might still have a chance to prove it.
At this point, the kid has finally stopped feeling like a kid. It
hasn’t always been easy or fun, or even less than miserable, but it’s
been life, and a pretty good one at that.. It didn’t have to turn out
that way.
So Thanks,
Kevbo, The Kid
[/QUOTE]
I got a thoughtful reply back, but won’t post it without permission. I think I was in Miss A’s class the first semester she tought on her own (vs. student teaching) and for whatever reason I was compelled to write her the above this last fall. Turns out she will retire next year, and the missive above kind of made a full circle thing.
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### Author:  [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2007, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/10 "2007-04-12T20:49:24Z")
I hear from a few of the good ones when they need a letter of recommendation. Heck, I’ve asked them to write them for me as well, since the letters of rec I’ve had from faculty observers tend to be dry and generic.
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### Author:  [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2007, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/11 "2007-04-12T23:17:23Z")
E-mail, don’t call or stop by. I am a professor and it is painful when a student stops by expecting to spend an hour or so catching up on other professors, their previous classmates, or gossip. We are happy to hear from you, know you are well, but mostly big-picture stuff.
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2007, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/12 "2007-04-12T23:48:15Z")
Well, I can’t stop by; he’s ten states away. The school doesn’t give out teachers’ phone numbers or email addresses. They will, however, convey messages and contact info from students to teachers.
Really, if you think it would cause one iota of awkwardness or irritation or inconvenience, I won’t even contact the alumni association. I’ll just let it go entirely.
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2007, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/13 "2007-04-13T00:17:02Z")
No, definitely give it a shot. The worst that can happen is that he respondes to the message with “ **Rilchiam**? That jerk? Pah!” No sweat off anybody. OTOH he may remember you fondly and not mind shooting the breeze via email at all.
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2007, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/14 "2007-04-13T00:36:31Z")
Yeah, I was just going to talk about what I’m doing now, not about stuff that happened back then. If he doesn’t remember me, I would think he’d still listen politely. Surely any teacher would want to hear that one of their students remembers them, even if they don’t remember the student?
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2007, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/15 "2007-04-13T00:43:03Z")
That’s one of the sneak benefits of the job. We all like to know that we are remembered, and that just maybe we made a difference somehow.
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### Author:  [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2007, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/16 "2007-04-13T00:44:33Z")
I am a teacher and I like hearing from my previous students. 😃
One pupil asked me for help getting a suitable wedding present for another pupil. I happily did so, then unexpectedly got a computer game as a reward!
Recently two pupils phoned me and asked if they could visit together.
I have two linked computers, so one pupil played multiplayer Heroes of Might and Magic 3 then did some University coursework; the other watched my CSI DVDs then played multiplayer Civ 4. 🆒
Why yes, I am a nerd!
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### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2007, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/17 "2007-04-13T02:07:51Z")
[QUOTE=Rilchiam]
Well, I can’t stop by; he’s ten states away. The school doesn’t give out teachers’ phone numbers or email addresses. They will, however, convey messages and contact info from students to teachers.
Really, if you think it would cause one iota of awkwardness or irritation or inconvenience, I won’t even contact the alumni association. I’ll just let it go entirely.
[/QUOTE]
It’s not that I don’t want to see my old kids. I do. And email is always welcome. It’s just that when someone drops in they often seems to have expectations that I can’t fufill, at least not off the cuff. They are easily disappointed at the things I don’t remember, and they expect to monopolize my attention over the kids I have now. They often seem disappointed that I’ve changed. It just can be hard. I say this only so that if you do go see him and it is awkward, you don’t think it’s him or you. It’s neither–it’s normal.
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### Author:  [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2007, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/18 "2007-04-13T02:25:58Z")
I’m a librarian (which is, at most schools, a professor, plus I’ve taught a couple of for-credit courses in research and one partial history course [filled in when a professor got sick for several weeks]) and I’m still in touch with a few students. One’s a marine in Iraq as part of a special salvage team and I really wish he’d email me- I haven’t heard from him since just after New Years and would really like to know he’s alright. (Weird friendship: he’s ultra-religious and knows I’m a gaytheist but decided for some odd reason I’m his favorite uncle and after a while when he wouldn’t go away I started to, if not like him then sorta kinda care about him and we’ve stayed in since he left my class in 2001- CHRIS! IF FOR SOME REASON YOU READ THE STRAIGHT DOPE LEMME KNOW YOU’RE OKAY!)
Another’s become my official unofficial adopted nephew and we’re in touch all the time and I see him whenever I’m in the D.C. area. He’s what I’d want if I had a son; he’s different in that for some reason I just always had a major soft spot for him (it’s not romantic- he’s gay but I’m not attracted to him in the least- it’s more of a “sweet funny bright kid/terrible family/like him better than my real nephews/let’s do something about that” thing. Lots of others, especially student workers, I trade email with periodically but haven’t seen in forever.
I’ve only been asked for a few academic references, and except for one applying to grad school in library science I reminded them “I’m a librarian, I’m technically faculty but _anybody_ who’s teaching faculty would be better”, though I’ve served as personal reference for several students and professional reference for student workers who I gave my contact info to when I left (since the library just says “Yep, he worked here from Fall 2004 to Winter 2005, can’t say anymore”).
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2007, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/19 "2007-04-13T02:43:37Z")
[QUOTE=Manda JO]
It’s not that I don’t want to see my old kids. I do. And email is always welcome. It’s just that when someone drops in they often seems to have expectations that I can’t fufill, at least not off the cuff. They are easily disappointed at the things I don’t remember, and they expect to monopolize my attention over the kids I have now. They often seem disappointed that I’ve changed. It just can be hard. I say this only so that if you do go see him and it is awkward, you don’t think it’s him or you. It’s neither–it’s normal.
[/QUOTE]
Well, good grief, that would be awkward! In fact, these people sound rather lacking in grace. Does this happen often? You mean, people want to steal your time while you’re **working**?
But as I say, dropping in is not an option. And even if it were, he’s retired, and I don’t show up on **anyone’s** doorstep unannounced. And when I do travel, if I’m planning to make a detour to visit someone, I start clearing it with them while the trip itself is still in the planning stages. No expecting this or monopolizing that.
**Sampiro** , the guy I’m talking about wrote me a glowing college recommendation. I didn’t see it at the time, of course, but someone at the college showed it to me (I forget why). Again, he might not remember me now, but I was not Generic Student to him then.
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### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2007, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-professors-ever-hear-from-former-students/399779/20 "2007-04-13T03:07:17Z")
My mom was an elementary school teacher for decades (she recently retired), and I don’t think she can go anywhere in the city without running into former students. Many of them know her by her maiden name, so they have long memories, and several times she’s taught multiple generations of the same family. Some, she’s kept close touch with, and are now some of her best friends, and a couple of her students (who were foster children) have sort of adopted her as a nana (my sister and I joked that she had went and gotten grandchildren without consulting us).
I also have some teaching under my belt, mostly in college labs. I often see former students on campus, some of whom recognize me, and I’m always glad to at least say hello. Once, a fellow at the local sandwich shop comped me a hoagie for it. But I suppose it hasn’t yet been long enough for any of my students to be “long lost”.
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