# Teachers Stage Fake Gunman Attack On Sixth-Graders **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 14, 2007, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043 "2007-05-14T15:08:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/21 "2007-05-14T17:25:32Z")
[QUOTE=Soapbox Monkey] Literally like shooting fish in a barrel. [/QUOTE] Except with fish, it’s not as much fun going through their wallets afterward. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/22 "2007-05-14T17:45:13Z")
I actually had a teacher do this to me and my classmates. It was a high school drama class and the year was 1984. The class was doing business as usual, when two guys with guns burst in and started yelling for everyone to get on the floor. Naturally pandemonium ensued, as we all got down and pulled the chairs and desks around ourselves. The two guys ran around hollering and scaring us for a couple of minutes, and then our teacher told us it was just a demonstation of improv or some shit. The two guys were former students of hers. She laughed as she told us how one girl had approached her during the panic with tears rolling down her cheeks, imploring the teacher to save her…and we all laughed too. We were kind of shaky, but relieved. I’m always amazed when I look back on that event now. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/23 "2007-05-14T17:50:18Z")
[QUOTE=Soapbox Monkey] After Columbine, my old high school (and a lot of other high schools from what I’ve heard) started a new drill. The school goes into “lockdown” and everyone has to huddle in the corner of their classroom, out of view of the big glass window in the middle of every door. [/QUOTE] I’ll go you one better - at my high school, they told most of the students to go into the auditorium, with smaller groups packed into other large rooms. It would have been a real shooting gallery. Schools put more effort into lockdowns these days, so maybe that’s improved, but… ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/24 "2007-05-14T17:51:31Z")
Ah, how wonderful. I should point out that we have a number of Dopers who have the misfortune to live in Murfreesboro, TN. None of whom, IIRC, are elementary teachers, and certainly if any of them are, I feel confident in saying that they wouldn’t be so stupid as to participate in this. Murfreesboro has seen more than it’s fair share of fucked up shit in the past couple of years for some reason. There was the high ranking cop who told officers at their start of shift briefing that if they weren’t Christians, he was going to make their life hell. Then, while driving a convict bus, he stopped at a street corner, and ordered a bunch of people to get on the bus at gunpoint, with no explaination as to what they might have been doing wrong. (They were, it should be noted, doing nothing wrong, and were never charged with anything.) Other bizarre things have happened there, that I can’t recall at the moment (though I think that there might have been a Pit thread or two about them). Really surprising, too, considering that Murfreesboro is a college town, and not one of the _Deliverence_-esque places in the state. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/25 "2007-05-14T17:55:39Z")
Jesus, **Dung Beetle**. I was a senior in 1984, and I guarantee any teacher who’d done something like that in my school would have been fired post-haste. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/26 "2007-05-14T18:02:40Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] Reminds of those “Get under your desk” nuclear drills of the 1960s. [/QUOTE] I participated in some of those when I was in grammar school in the 1950s. In my experience, they never pretended the attack was for real instead of a drill. It was scary enough anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/27 "2007-05-14T18:02:43Z")
[QUOTE=TroubleAgain] Jesus, **Dung Beetle**. I was a senior in 1984, and I guarantee any teacher who’d done something like that in my school would have been fired post-haste. [/QUOTE] Yeah, you’d think that one girl’s parents might have complained, at least. I don’t recall if I even mentioned it at home. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/28 "2007-05-14T18:10:43Z")
[QUOTE=Soapbox Monkey] Ah yes, the old “get on the floor and pray your number isn’t up” defense. When the fuck will people realize that in such a situation your only real chance is to rush the person with the gun? [/QUOTE] Which is of course a _completely_ rational and feasible thing to teach 11 year olds. It’s harder to teach the kindergarteners to rush the gunman and take him down by punching him in the knees with their tiny fists, but it helps if you tell them the gun is made of chocolate. [sub]/This post may contain sarcasm.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/29 "2007-05-14T18:11:26Z")
I know of one school where the lockdown procedure requires the teacher to use a special key on the door. This is a key that the custodian doesn’t have, I think (I’m not sure whether the principal does, either); when it’s used, the door cannot be opened from the inside or outside without the key. That makes the lockdown procedure a little better. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/30 "2007-05-14T18:21:38Z")
When kids do stuff like this as a joke, it is a 20 year felony. Does that apply to the adults? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/31 "2007-05-14T18:38:47Z")
[QUOTE=Soapbox Monkey] In such a situation you need to realize that you have to options: 1. Hide there and die 2. Fight back against the person with the weapon, which may also get you killed, but at least you’ll have a fraction of a chance. And if 20 people had rushed the gunman at Columbine, 3 or 4 may have died while the rest overwhelmed them. Make no mistake, in such a situation, people WILL die, but the number of deaths can be minimized if people act smart. [/QUOTE] 3. Toss some ankle biters toward the shooters as a distraction, and then skidaddle. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/32 "2007-05-14T18:40:56Z")
[QUOTE=Muffin] 3) Toss some ankle biters toward the shooters as a distraction, and then skidaddle. [/QUOTE] This is most effective if you throw them up in the air and yell _PULL_! ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/33 "2007-05-14T18:43:57Z")
[QUOTE=Left Hand of Dorkness] I know of one school where the lockdown procedure requires the teacher to use a special key on the door. This is a key that the custodian doesn’t have, I think (I’m not sure whether the principal does, either); when it’s used, the door cannot be opened from the inside or outside without the key. That makes the lockdown procedure a little better. Daniel [/QUOTE] Yeah, but what happens if the teacher loses her key? Either the class doesn’t get locked down or the people inside can’t get out. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/34 "2007-05-14T18:50:46Z")
Back in the day, the routine was to be told the story of a murder who had a mangled hand, whereupon an adult holding his hand in an awkward manner would stagger toward the campfire. How times have changed. ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/35 "2007-05-14T19:14:27Z")
[QUOTE=Soapbox Monkey] 2) Fight back against the person with the weapon, which may also get you killed, but at least you’ll have a fraction of a chance. And if 20 people had rushed the gunman at Columbine, 3 or 4 may have died while the rest overwhelmed them. Make no mistake, in such a situation, people WILL die, but the number of deaths can be minimized if people act smart. [/QUOTE] You remember these are 10 year old kids, right? Rushing a fully grown, armed adult? I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page before I start to criticize you. ---
**Author:** ![lowbrass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dc4da7/32.png) [@lowbrass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lowbrass)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/36 "2007-05-14T19:26:40Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] Reminds of those “Get under your desk” nuclear drills of the 1960s. People are stupid. [/QUOTE] But those were just drills. They didn’t tell them they were under attack. > [@Left Hand](#): > > Y’all need to look at both sides of the issue. Yeah, the rational side and the fucking brain-dead side. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/37 "2007-05-14T19:32:44Z")
[QUOTE=MsRobyn] Yeah, but what happens if the teacher loses her key? Either the class doesn’t get locked down or the people inside can’t get out. [/QUOTE] “Okay, children, let’s turn to chapter eleven, ‘The Donner Party.’” ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/38 "2007-05-14T19:35:52Z")
Isn’t this in the same vein as yelling “Fire!” in a movie theater? ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/39 "2007-05-14T19:41:48Z")
No, I think it’s more in the vein of psychologically terrifying young children. Close, though. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/40 "2007-05-14T19:45:23Z")
[QUOTE=ForumBot] No, I think it’s more in the vein of psychologically terrifying young children. Close, though. [/QUOTE] That is obvious. I’m trying to liken it to something that society generally frowns upon. Because you know for damned sure that there are people out there who actually support this nonsense. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043.md?page=3)