# Teachers Stage Fake Gunman Attack On Sixth-Graders **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 14, 2007, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043 "2007-05-14T15:08:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/41 "2007-05-14T19:46:23Z")
[QUOTE=Colibri] I participated in some of those when I was in grammar school in the 1950s. In my experience, they never pretended the attack was for real instead of a drill. It was scary enough anyway. [/QUOTE] Could someone please tell me, a child of the 90s, what the heck that was supposed to do? If you’re too close to ground zero, you’re gonna get vaporized. If the shockwave blows the building apart, I don’t see huddling under a desk doing any good. Then again, I’ve never been able to take such things that seriously. There’s a requirement for the Emergency Preparedness merit badge that calls for discussion of emergencies that can include “15. Nuclear power plant emergency.” Now, I’m pretty sure that when I got this merit badge a decade ago it was just “Nuclear emergency” and they didn’t have anything about a power plant. I, along with everyone else I knew who got that merit badge thought the idea somewhat ridiculous. Remember, too young for the Cold War, born after Three Mile Island, and really too young for Chernobyl as well. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/42 "2007-05-14T19:52:30Z")
[QUOTE=Jodi] This is most effective if you throw them up in the air and yell _PULL_! [/QUOTE] well, **that** made this all worthwhile. I heard this on the news this am and knew there’d be a thread about it. My own personal suspicion is that the teachers had ‘cleared’ this w/an administrator (my sister, the elementary education teacher, wouldn’t offer kleenex to a snot dripping child w/o permission from the administration, and school trips are no exception. you don’t deviate from the schedule w/o permission, this certainly would have been a deviation). have difficulty believing that any rational adult thought this would be ok. and to the poster that suggested that if kids had done it they’d be in teh pokey by now, you betcha, and facing adult felony charges, as well, IMHO. and to the poster whose teacher did this years ago and **laughed at** the girl who took it seriously and was crying about it - shit, apparently stupid teachers have always been with us. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/43 "2007-05-14T19:56:12Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] “Okay, children, let’s turn to chapter eleven, ‘The Donner Party.’” [/QUOTE] sadly, apparently the Donner party aren’t part of the curiculum any more. One of my favorite restaurant gags is to suggest to the host/hostess at a busy restaurant to intersperce among the real call outs for people: “Donner, party of 10…” then some real ones (“Smith, party of 3, Jones, party of 7”) then “Donner, party of 8…” etc. to see if anyone notices. We’ve told that to a variety of young persons employed as hosts/hostesses and unfortunately have to explain the joke often as not. Sigh. they just don’t teach the classics anymore. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/44 "2007-05-14T19:57:08Z")
For Asterion: Speaking as someone who grew up in the shadow of both NYC (Nuke target #3, after DC, and Cheyenne Mountain), and in the lee of Indian Point, we had both kinds of drills growing up. Duck and Cover, and Emergency Evac. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/45 "2007-05-14T20:02:49Z")
What you really need to teach kids is the groin punch. I’ve seen youngsters perpetrate this, and it drops a full-grown man instantly. Actually, you don’t need to teach it to them; they seem to know it instinctively. Just teach them when to use it. I have never liked practical jokes for just these reasons; making someone think something horrible has happened is never funny, in my opinion (see: Shannen Doherty’s miserable show, “I killed your mother - ha ha! Made you look!”) ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/46 "2007-05-14T20:15:39Z")
[QUOTE=Soapbox Monkey] Literally like shooting fish in a barrel. [/QUOTE] I will bet that no one who makes this analogy has ever actually tried shooting fish in a barrel. ---
**Author:** ![lowbrass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dc4da7/32.png) [@lowbrass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lowbrass)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/47 "2007-05-14T20:25:02Z")
[QUOTE=asterion] Could someone please tell me, a child of the 90s, what the heck that was supposed to do? If you’re too close to ground zero, you’re gonna get vaporized. If the shockwave blows the building apart, I don’t see huddling under a desk doing any good. [/QUOTE] Are you questioning [Bert the Turtle](http://www.archive.org/details/DuckandC1951)? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/48 "2007-05-14T20:32:41Z")
[QUOTE=asterion] Could someone please tell me, a child of the 90s, what the heck that was supposed to do? [/QUOTE] To me, a child of the 70s, it was probably just a way to give the kids something to do instead of panicing. I know not wanting to panic the masses was a big thing among TPTB in the 30s & 40s, just look at what passed for tornado preparedness at the time. Authorities were adverse to issuing tornado warnings because they felt that it would incite panic, they reasoned that the effect of panicing masses would be worse than the tornado itself. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/49 "2007-05-14T20:33:05Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Murfreesboro has seen more than it’s fair share of fucked up shit in the past couple of years for some reason. There was the high ranking cop who told officers at their start of shift briefing that if they weren’t Christians, he was going to make their life hell. Then, while driving a convict bus, he stopped at a street corner, and ordered a bunch of people to get on the bus at gunpoint, with no explaination as to what they might have been doing wrong. (They were, it should be noted, doing nothing wrong, and were never charged with anything.) Other bizarre things have happened there, that I can’t recall at the moment (though I think that there might have been a Pit thread or two about them). Really surprising, too, considering that Murfreesboro is a college town, and not one of the _Deliverence_-esque places in the state. [/QUOTE] Pardon a Yankee-libby WAG here? Maybe this was an outgrowth of some kind of old-time fire-and-brimstone emotional whoopass brought on by hate and fear of the modern secular world, and perhaps some elements of a) fantasized military-type training as a response to that world and b) the powerless feeling of a group of teachers who, just briefly, got to experience power? My stereotype of traditional southern white culture is that reverence for one’s elders, the military, and God inform nearly everydamnthing folks do, and that there is a great temptation to overapply those principles at the expense of others. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/50 "2007-05-14T20:35:03Z")
[QUOTE=Colibri] I will bet that no one who makes this analogy has ever actually tried shooting fish in a barrel. [/QUOTE] I thought that was supposed to be the barrel-equivalent of throwing explosives into a river–the fish all die and float up to the top, whereupon you collect them all easily. No? (I hereby do not endorse throwing explosives into rivers, or shooting fish in a barrel.) ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/51 "2007-05-14T20:39:28Z")
[QUOTE=dangermom] I thought that was supposed to be the barrel-equivalent of throwing explosives into a river–the fish all die and float up to the top, whereupon you collect them all easily. No? (I hereby do not endorse throwing explosives into rivers, or shooting fish in a barrel.) [/QUOTE] well, it seems to me that you either hit a fish or miss. If you hit a fish, you’ve (probably) killed it. if you miss, you’ve put a hole in the barrel from which the water will escape and then the fish are left waterless. either way. it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/52 "2007-05-14T20:47:32Z")
[QUOTE=asterion] Could someone please tell me, a child of the 90s, what the heck that was supposed to do? If you’re too close to ground zero, you’re gonna get vaporized. If the shockwave blows the building apart, I don’t see huddling under a desk doing any good. [/QUOTE] Not everyone is going to be that close to ground zero. If you are far enough away, you might get some protection. Of course the standard joke for “what to do in case of nuclear attack” was: 1. Empty your pockets of sharp objects 2. Bend over 3. Place your head between your legs 4. Kiss your ass goodbye ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/53 "2007-05-14T20:52:58Z")
[QUOTE=dangermom] I thought that was supposed to be the barrel-equivalent of throwing explosives into a river–the fish all die and float up to the top, whereupon you collect them all easily. No? [/QUOTE] Even if you kill the fish with the pressure wave as you suggest, the bullet is probably not actually going to hit them, so you are not technically speaking shooting them. This has never struck me as a great analogy, since I think actually hitting a fish swimming around in a barrel with a bullet would be pretty tough. “Shooting apples in a barrel” would be better. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/54 "2007-05-14T21:02:28Z")
[QUOTE=Colibri] Even if you kill the fish with the pressure wave as you suggest, the bullet is probably not actually going to hit them, so you are not technically speaking shooting them. This has never struck me as a great analogy, since I think actually hitting a fish swimming around in a barrel with a bullet would be pretty tough. “Shooting apples in a barrel” would be better. [/QUOTE] I’m sure it’s easier than taking candy from a baby, though! ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/55 "2007-05-14T21:06:24Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] I’m sure it’s easier than taking candy from a baby, though! [/QUOTE] you ain’t kidding, some of those fuckers are **strong**! ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/56 "2007-05-14T21:10:33Z")
I see a few posts above saying it’s just a bunch of teachers involved and asking why nobody checked with an administrator. Isn’t a Vice-Principal an administrator? One such individual was involved, according to the linked report. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/57 "2007-05-14T21:22:31Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] I’m sure it’s easier than taking candy from a baby, though! [/QUOTE] On the other hand, taking candy from a fish, or shooting babies in a barrel, is probably as easy as pie. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/58 "2007-05-14T21:25:10Z")
[QUOTE=Monty] I see a few posts above saying it’s just a bunch of teachers involved and asking why nobody checked with an administrator. Isn’t a Vice-Principal an administrator? One such individual was involved, according to the linked report. [/QUOTE] I was just about to post that very thing. I recommend [Are the three R’s Overrated?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=420670) ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/59 "2007-05-14T21:27:46Z")
[QUOTE=Monty] I see a few posts above saying it’s just a bunch of teachers involved and asking why nobody checked with an administrator. Isn’t a Vice-Principal an administrator? One such individual was involved, according to the linked report. [/QUOTE] I’d assumed that the teachers had run it by an administrator, and yes, a Vice Principal is one, IME. ---
**Author:** ![RedSwinglineOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a9adbd/32.png) [@RedSwinglineOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedSwinglineOne)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043/60 "2007-05-14T21:32:48Z")
When I first heard this story, I was only slightly annoyed because I assumed this was some kind of drill for which the students had been trained, but it was not. In the schools [own press release](http://cityschools.net/schoolsites/se/index.html) they refer to it no less than five or six times as a **prank**. They justify themselves by saying that the teacher “made comments about this coming prank on several occasions that week.” So basically, the students should have known better than to be scared. If a gunman ever does decide to show up at that scool, those teachers can look forward to many students who are not willing to fall for the same “prank” again. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teachers-stage-fake-gunman-attack-on-sixth-graders/404043.md?page=4)