There’s always the Foreign Legion …
Mon cher xgxlx, don’t you remember that I speak French? And that I’m majoring in it? I can’t give you lessons or anything, but I am always willing to help you with grammar/pronunciation/des choses de ce genre.
Can’t believe this hasn’t popped in yet:
Lay Down Rifle
Hold Up Hands
French lesson now complete 
flickster, it probably hadn’t “popped in yet” because
- it’s a stereotype
- it’s a tired, old, uncreative stereotype
- we Dopers are better than that–if we’re going to stereotype, we’re at least going to be unconventional, dammit.
Anyway, not to be all junior mod, but Middlecase got a mild warning for a similar thing in this thread. Just sayin’…