# Technology doesn't work that way - SamuelA's Pit Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2017, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420 "2017-12-03T00:52:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 29
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/561 "2018-01-05T00:38:24Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Actually, I was selected for my fanatical devotion to the Pope. > [@andros](#): > > Those are two important reasons. Wait, I’ll come in again. Actually, I was selected for my stunning blue eyes. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/562 "2018-01-05T00:51:46Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > I’m going to go find a community with less idiots. I think he meant “fewer” idiots, since according to prescriptive grammar “idiots” presumably refers to a discrete countable quantity. You know, like digital stuff and shit like that, in which **SamuelA** possesses such awesome expertise in his gigantic throbbing brain that special reinforcing prosthetics are needed just to hold his brain upright on top of his giant head. A brain which, even as we speak, is executing conditional branch statements, just like **SamuelA** always said it did. It is, however, idiomatically correct to use “less” in a context like this example sentence: “If **SamuelA** is true to his word and fucks off to infest some other board, there will be _one less_ idiot on this one.” ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/563 "2018-01-05T00:57:18Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > … > > _drops mike_ > > SamuelA Out. Poor Mike, your only friend here. That’s \*drop **mic**. \* ya dumbshit. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/564 "2018-01-05T01:00:29Z")
Ten bucks; a flattened, bloody mess of a goat; and a half-eaten bag of Skittles says he’ll be back within a fortnight. Tripler His last activity: 5:53PM (MST). ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/565 "2018-01-05T01:07:59Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Actually, I was selected for my stunning blue eyes. Your eyes are your best feature. Individually. As a pair they’re a bit too close together. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/566 "2018-01-05T01:08:09Z")
**Tripler** he is not using the ignore function in the traditional fashion. He either has a post-it not list reminding him whom not to look at, which he constantly fucks up OR he did finally manage to use the function, but the post-it note reminds him who he wants to read anyway (equally amusing). He explained it at some point. It’s all buried back there in the pages of long ago. He forgets and responds to the ignored. I thought I was free! I lean to option A, post-it, still no ignore function. I liked that goat by the way. He ate Shagnasty’s shirt. What’s the plan now that you punted him into oblivion? :dubious: I’m expecting that **SamtheMan** can’t stay away and we’ll see him again soon. Does the Great Machine track “flounce/unflounce/flounce” cycles anywhere? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/567 "2018-01-05T01:15:53Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > Anyways, I’ve said my piece, and I’ve proven my points. _Unless_ you, or anyone else, have a _substantive_ response citing specific posts, I’m done here. I’m going to go find a community with less idiots. I hear lesser wrong has revamped their site. > > _drops mike_ > > SamuelA Out. Who wants to start taking bets on when he’ll be back? (They always come back) ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/568 "2018-01-05T01:18:15Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > **Tripler** he is not using the ignore function in the traditional fashion. He either has a post-it not list reminding him whom not to look at, which he constantly fucks up OR he did finally manage to use the function, but the post-it note reminds him who he wants to read anyway (equally amusing). He explained it at some point. It’s all buried back there in the pages of long ago. He forgets and responds to the ignored. I thought I was free! I lean to option A, post-it, still no ignore function. That was my plan–to catch him in the act of either/or. > [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > I liked that goat by the way. He ate Shagnasty’s shirt. What’s the plan now that you punted him into oblivion? :dubious: There’s rumors we have some hibernating capybaras somewhere in the County. We have bears too. Should I try to grab a few of those? > [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > I’m expecting that **SamtheMan** can’t stay away and we’ll see him again soon. Does the Great Machine track “flounce/unflounce/flounce” cycles anywhere? I’m sorry. . . I gotta ask: just what the fuck is a “flounce?” I’m older and don’t get what the kids are saying nowadays. Tripler What a sick, bodacious, Twenty-Three Skidoo! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/569 "2018-01-05T01:20:43Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Your eyes are your best feature. Individually. As a pair they’re a bit too close together. > > 😛 How could they possibly be too close together with that nose between 'em? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/570 "2018-01-05T01:41:45Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > … > > I’m sorry. . . I gotta ask: just what the fuck is a “flounce?” I’m older and don’t get what the kids are saying nowadays. It’s a dramatic exit, often involving one who is pissed off and calling the entire room names. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/571 "2018-01-05T01:42:11Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > I’m sorry. . . I gotta ask: just what the fuck is a “flounce?” I’m older and don’t get what the kids are saying nowadays.! Either _go or move in an exaggeratedly impatient or angry manner (“he stood up in a fury and flounced out”)_ Or [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/ivEwlIeeSac/maxresdefault.jpg "Man Flounces off the Internet") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivEwlIeeSac) . ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/572 "2018-01-05T01:46:32Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > _drops mike_ > > SamuelA Out. > [@Morgenstern](#): > > Poor Mike, your only friend here. > > That’s \*drop **mic**. \* ya dumbshit. How I picture **SamuelA** : > [@Futurama](#): > > Fry: [writing] “The giant brain laughed in triumph. ‘Ha ha ha!’ Then, for no reason, he left Earth forever. The end.” There. Now he’s trapped in a book I wrote. A crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors. > [Chief Giant Brain: The big brain am winning again! I am the greetest! Mwa-ha-ha-ha! Now I am leaving Earth for no raisin!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKMLQ_RgJ4A) ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/573 "2018-01-05T02:10:40Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Who wants to start taking bets on when he’ll be back? (They always come back) I’ve got my money on a charming new poster named **SamuelB** joining in the next few days. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/574 "2018-01-05T02:13:15Z")
**Morg** , **andros** , thanks! I learn something new every day! I’ll just note that his last activity was 7:PM MST. Apparently he’s still flouncing his way offstage. Tripler Posted from a big, comfy “Officer’s Chair” from whence I ordered TPS reports to be done. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/575 "2018-01-05T02:22:42Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > I’m sorry. . . I gotta ask: just what the fuck is a “flounce?” I’m older and don’t get what the kids are saying nowadays. This video gives a very accurate description of **SamuelA’s** [flounce.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivEwlIeeSac) ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/576 "2018-01-05T02:25:58Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > This video gives a very accurate description of **SamuelA’s** [flounce.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivEwlIeeSac) So. . . just to fuck with him, should we abandon the thread? Tripler Because. . . _nanobots with neural pathways!_ [sub]or something[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/577 "2018-01-05T02:55:23Z")
I see three potential downsides to the illustrious pitees’s departure: **Downside #1:** Vigilance must be exercised against the emergence of a new poster who suddenly develops a fondness for **SamuelA** ’s legacy and, for the first time ever, proceeds to defend all his posts as absolutely correct and **SamuelA** himself as a genius and child prodigy. Mods must be especially vigilant if the new poster’s name is **SamuelB**. 😃 **Downside #2:** Vigilance must be escalated against the possibility of vast armies of hostile autonomous self-replicating nanobots that may be launched against the SDMB data center. **Downside #3:** This one is genuinely sad, and I mean that sincerely. The guy is going to inflict himself on some other board that may have fewer scientists and engineers than this one, and he is going to bloviate all over them like a diarrhetic goat. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/578 "2018-01-05T02:58:29Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > **Morg** , **andros** , thanks! I learn something new every day! > > I’ll just note that his last activity was 7:PM MST. Apparently he’s still flouncing his way offstage. > > Tripler > Posted from a big, comfy “Officer’s Chair” from whence I ordered TPS reports to be done. 6:45p (Pacific) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/579 "2018-01-05T03:11:44Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Who wants to start taking bets on when he’ll be back? (They always come back) He has already quit this board twice and come back. Nobody is taking your bet. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2018, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/580 "2018-01-05T03:13:41Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > 6:45p (Pacific) 6:59p (Pacific) Hi, Sammy! _waves_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420.md?page=28) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420.md?page=30)