# Technology doesn't work that way - SamuelA's Pit Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2017, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420 "2017-12-03T00:52:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 59
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1161 "2019-06-23T02:00:41Z")
Not that it really matters, but why would they use stretched flaccid length? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1162 "2019-06-23T02:38:11Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > Not that it really matters, but why would they use stretched flaccid length? [“There’s Only One Correct Way to Measure a Penis”](https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/evqx7e/how-to-measure-penis-length-girth) > [@](#): > > Researcher David Veale and his team at King’s College, London looked at the penis measurements of 15,521 men taken in a clinical setting, by urologists who all adhered to a standard measuring protocol. When the results came in the average penis size was once again, revised downwards. > > Veale reckoned it at 5.16” in length and 4.59” in girth. In the paper, he concedes that “relatively few erect measurements were conducted in a clinical setting.” This, as I’ve postulated in a previous penis-related article, is surely because getting a convincing erection in a clinical setting is easier said than done. As a stand-in for a stiffy, Veale’s study looked at stretched flaccid length which urologists have long noted, is commensurate with erect length. If stretched flaccid length is comparable to erect length and is easier to determine in a clinical setting, then why **wouldn’t** researchers use it? Nobody really wants to be handling some rando’s boner, much less waiting around for him to attain what he claims are his correct maximum dimensions. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1163 "2019-06-23T02:53:17Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > [“There’s Only One Correct Way to Measure a Penis”](https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/evqx7e/how-to-measure-penis-length-girth) Yes: [(length x diameter) + (Weight / Girth)] / Angle of Tip ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1164 "2019-06-23T03:05:30Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Yes: > > [(length x diameter) + (Weight / Girth)] / Angle of Tip :dubious: This reminds me of the legendary mathematician named Hall, who has a hexahedronical ball; And the cube of its weight, Times his pecker, plus eight, Is his phone number; give him a call! ---
**Author:** ![SamuelA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@SamuelA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SamuelA)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1165 "2019-06-23T03:39:25Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > So? They are diseases which are transmitted via sexual intercourse. They are STDs, which you admitted - then denied - having. Welcome to this Pit thread. You’re in good company, with other human beings so stupid I don’t know how they make it to the bathroom without getting lost. Which unfortunately is probably going to be true for many of the posters here, and their life plan is to just rot until they are a corpse, as they are too afraid to even _try_ having themselves be cryogenically frozen. Because “there’s no proof it would work” or “it’s really unlikely to work” or some other utterly retarded reason. Since, you know, unproven and unlikely is one thing, while the death rate from Alzheimer’s is a sure thing. Do you know why you’re so stupid? Because the very set of statements you “quoted” doesn’t mean what you think it does. It’s possible for a person to have caught chlamydia/gonorrhea, notice right away the “burning sensation when I pee”, get a shot in the butt (literally), and you’ll be non transmissive in a couple weeks. And the itching and burning stops in a couple days. Fun times. So it would then be factually true that you _had_ an STD but _no longer have_ one. I suggest you follow the right hand wall and just make each turn until you find a bathroom, or if you shit your pants, make sure to summon a nurse. ---
**Author:** ![SamuelA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@SamuelA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SamuelA)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1166 "2019-06-23T03:43:01Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > And that makes them not STDs how? 😕 > > As for the “different races are different body sizes”, I’ve seen people of different races of all different body sizes as well. What next, black people have natural rhythem? Asians are good at math? > > [The Pseudoscience of Race Differences in Penis Size](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/unique-everybody-else/201210/the-pseudoscience-race-differences-in-penis-size) > > From [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_penis_size#Size_and_race): > > If you follow that link, there comments are cited, as always at wiki. > > Hell, just look at pictures of naked celebrities and you’ll debunk this shit _fast_. > > In conclusion: you’re a fucking dumbass who doesn’t know his ass from his elbow. We knew that already, so I don’t know why you insist on proving it over and over and over. If you like making yourself look stupid, of course, go for it. Not my problem. If I don’t know my ass from my elbow, you probably forget to breathe sometimes. Not only did you selectively hunt down every cite and study that _doesn’t_ confirm racial differences in dong size, while ignoring the ones that do, but it _doesn’t fucking matter for my point_. I’m saying that calling someone a peckerwood is no fucking different than calling them a \\\. Either way you are engaging in hostile conduct solely due to genetic differences beyond their personal control. Good day sir, and fuck you. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1167 "2019-06-23T04:06:24Z")
NOBODY CALLED YOU A “PECKERWOOD”. NO ONE. They said you had a tiny penis! That is NOT the same as calling you a peckerwood. Peckerwood does NOT mean “tiny penis”, anyways. And whether penis size has anything to do with race, insulting people based on size has NEVER, to my knowledge, been considered a racial slur. Making fun of your dick size != mocking your race. Chances are, the person who said it had no idea what race you are, dumbass. Besides I found several, scholarly cites, you had one link to an article citing a sex toy company. Who’s being selective? And considering some of the things you’ve said about women here, I wouldn’t talk. Good god, I really, REALLY hope you’re a troll. Because otherwise, yikes. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1168 "2019-06-23T04:10:22Z")
Good god, what a thread. I can’t keep up. This is jump out^ > [@SamuelA](#): > > Because if you have, you’d know that the hotties who let you fuck them without a condom are pretty pricey. $300 an hour is closer to the usual rate, $500 for 2-4 hours and bareback is a great deal…Sometimes some free weed out of it. I generally skip his posts because they’re devoid of value but this is the type of stupid lying which Shaggie does (did? I haven’t seen him around lately since his topic ban). It’s someone projecting what would happen if they were in that situation rather than the reality of getting handjobs for 20 bucks. Or however much handjobs cost these day. No! If I actually had money, I could get a real looker! For real sex! and, and, and she’s let me go bareback! But THAT’S NOT ALL! I’D SCORE SOME FREE WEED!!! For fuck’s sake, if you could afford a $500 fuck, then _you_ supply the weed. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1169 "2019-06-23T04:12:11Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > I’m saying that calling someone a peckerwood is no fucking different than calling them a \\\. As **Guinastasia** already pointed out to you, saying that somebody has a small penis or “pecker” has nothing to do with calling them a [“peckerwood”](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peckerwood). > [@](#): > > Peckerwood is a term used in the Southern United States for a woodpecker which is also used as a racist slur for white people, especially poor rural whites. Originally an ethnic slur, the term has been embraced by a subculture related to prison gangs and outlaw motorcycle clubs. The term originates in Jive and was in use as an inversion of woodpecker by the 1830s, with the sense referring to white people documented from the 1850s. African-American folklore in the 1920s contrasted the white “peckerwood” bird with the African-American blackbird. “Peckerwood” is indeed a racial slur against whites, but a) it has nothing to do with insinuations about penis size, and b) nobody in this thread has called you a “peckerwood”. You’re the one who brought up the racial slur “peckerwood” because you mistakenly believed that it implied an insult about the size of a guy’s “pecker”. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1170 "2019-06-23T04:13:47Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > If I don’t know my ass from my elbow, you probably forget to breathe sometimes. > > Not only did you selectively hunt down every cite and study that _doesn’t_ confirm racial differences in dong size, while ignoring the ones that do, but it _doesn’t fucking matter for my point_. I’m saying that calling someone a peckerwood is no fucking different than calling them a \\\. > > Either way you are engaging in hostile conduct solely due to genetic differences beyond their personal control. Good day sir, and fuck you. Here’s the thing, nobody here gives a shit about your tiny dick but you. You are SO worried about that the slightest suggestion of such, instead of ignoring it or at least telling them to mind their own business, sends you into a moronic rage with all sorts of moronic twisted logic to equate it with racism. Which really trivializes actual racism. Nobody is getting shot or lynched or put in jail because of their tiny dicks. Edit: if they are, I’m willing to read a cite and retract if convincing. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1171 "2019-06-23T04:25:04Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > You are SO worried about that the slightest suggestion of such, instead of ignoring it or at least telling them to mind their own business, sends you into a moronic rage with all sorts of moronic twisted logic to equate it with racism. Nah, I’m betting that particular misunderstanding was the product of good old-fashioned stupidity, tinged with racism, more than specific insecurity. See, **SamuelA** knows that the word “peckerwood” is an anti-white insult used primarily by (Southern) blacks. And he knows the word “pecker” is a slang term for penis. And he has a racist notion that black men have significantly larger penises than white men and consequently sneer at white men for genital inadequacy. And in his muddled thinking, that adds up to: _“peckerwood” must be an anti-white slur specifically implying a small penis_. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1172 "2019-06-23T04:36:55Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Nah, I’m betting that particular misunderstanding was the product of good old-fashioned stupidity, tinged with racism, more than specific insecurity. > > See, **SamuelA** knows that the word “peckerwood” is an anti-white insult used primarily by (Southern) blacks. And he knows the word “pecker” is a slang term for penis. And he has a racist notion that black men have significantly larger penises than white men and consequently sneer at white men for genital inadequacy. > > And in his muddled thinking, that adds up to: _“peckerwood” must be an anti-white slur specifically implying a small penis_. A small penis which he cant stop worrying about… ---
**Author:** ![SamuelA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@SamuelA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SamuelA)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1173 "2019-06-23T04:58:42Z")
Funny thing is, my penis is fine. I know you’ll just claim I’m lying but I’ve hit 7 inches on the ole ruler. Lost a half inch from fat I haven’t finished losing, however. And in no way am I bragging, my dong size is a stat I didn’t earn. (and since everyone will just claim I’m lying, despite the fact that I haven’t lied once in this thread - wolfpup’s quotes are just asspulls, he’s claiming that being potentially mistaken about the technical merits of climate engineering somehow means a “lie” - I will point out that if I did have a small penis, I also didn’t “earn” that either.) I just think it’s despicable and morally abhorrent to make fun of it and it’s _no different_ than making fun of someone’s skin color. Also if you check the post history, I have never once claimed I had a small penis, _other posters_ did. It’s absolutely no different than saying “I think we’ve got a \ here, boys! Let’s go tar and feather that uppity \!” You just can’t see it your asses are so far up in your own hypocrisy. Anyways, fuck everyone here except for the one or two voices of common sense. I’ve kinda lost track. This will be my absolute last post to this thread. Good luck with your inevitable deaths from old age. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1174 "2019-06-23T04:59:21Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > A small penis which he cant stop worrying about… It looks bigger when it’s inflamed and encrusted with warts. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1175 "2019-06-23T05:04:00Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > Funny thing is, my penis is fine. I know you’ll just claim I’m lying but I’ve hit 7 inches on the ole ruler. Lost a half inch from fat I haven’t finished losing, however. And in no way am I bragging, my dong size is a stat I didn’t earn. (and since everyone will just claim I’m lying, despite the fact that I haven’t lied once in this thread - wolfpup’s quotes are just asspulls, he’s claiming that being potentially mistaken about the technical merits of climate engineering somehow means a “lie” - I will point out that if I did have a small penis, I also didn’t “earn” that either.) > > I just think it’s despicable and morally abhorrent to make fun of it and it’s _no different_ than making fun of someone’s skin color. > > Also if you check the post history, I have never once claimed I had a small penis, _other posters_ did. > > It’s absolutely no different than saying “I think we’ve got a \ here, boys! Let’s go tar and feather that uppity \!” > > You just can’t see it your asses are so far up in your own hypocrisy. > Anyways, fuck everyone here except for the one or two voices of common sense. I’ve kinda lost track. This will be my absolute last post to this thread. If you had just ignored the comment or insinuation, or told any of us to mind our own business, I might have believed you. But here’s the thing, you gave it away with your reaction to the perceived insult. But, BUT, here’s the real thing…NOBODY CARES. In actual racism, the racists DO care. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1176 "2019-06-23T05:09:10Z")
OMG 😃 I’m fucking DYING over here! You guys got SamuelA to measure his DICK! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1177 "2019-06-23T05:13:08Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > It looks bigger when it’s inflamed and encrusted with warts. Having had poison ivy down there (long story) this absolutely true. (The inflamed part, anyway) ---
**Author:** ![SamuelA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@SamuelA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SamuelA)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1178 "2019-06-23T05:23:52Z")
Addendum to my previous post. I promised that one would be the last one, but since I meant it at the time, it isn’t a lie. [![](https://i.redd.it/2r109nw4dz531.png) ](https://i.redd.it/2r109nw4dz531.png) So by claiming 7 inches I’m claiming a top 15% or so dong. Again, whatever, I know everyone here will just claim I have to be lying. These accusations of endless lying make this thread pointless to continue, so fuck everyone who started such a destructive thread digression. Anyways, reason it’s relevant is, believe it or not, it makes me feel worse having to pay for it when I have certain…positive qualities. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1179 "2019-06-23T05:26:20Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > Addendum to my previous post. I promised that one would be the last one, but since I meant it at the time, it isn’t a lie. > > [Reddit - Dive into anything](https://i.redd.it/2r109nw4dz531.png) > > So by claiming 7 inches I’m claiming a top 15% or so dong. Again, whatever, I know everyone here will just claim I have to be lying. These accusations of endless lying make this thread pointless to continue, so fuck everyone who started such a destructive thread digression. > > Anyways, reason it’s relevant is, believe it or not, it makes me feel worse having to pay for it when I have certain…positive qualities. Hey, maybe looks and dick size aren’t what you should be worried about? Just an idea. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1180 "2019-06-23T05:28:00Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > I know you’ll just claim I’m lying but I’ve hit 7 inches on the ole ruler. Lost a half inch from fat I haven’t finished losing, however. You will be pleased to learn that my previously linked cite contains information on how to minimize the effect of excess body fat on penile measurements: > [@](#): > > Place a transparent plastic ruler on the dorsal (upper side) surface of the penis. Then press the base of the ruler towards the pubic bone, the pubo-penile junction. Really jam it in there as far as you can. […] The reading you are going to take is at the very tip of the glans or head. > > This measurement is referred to as Bone Pressed Erect Length (BPEL). BPEL and Bone Pressed Flaccid Length (BPFL)—in which the flaccid penis is stretched—were used in Veale’s study because it prevents the pubic fat pad from diminishing the penis’ true length—hence the pressing in of the ruler. This gelatinous obstruction is no trifle: the more excess fat a man accumulates, the more the penis is buried, causing it to effectively lose length. > [@SamuelA](#): > > I just think it’s despicable and morally abhorrent to make fun of it and it’s _no different_ than making fun of someone’s skin color. […] > > It’s absolutely no different than saying “I think we’ve got a \ here, boys! Let’s go tar and feather that uppity \!” :dubious: While I don’t support body-shaming in any form—including your own contemptuous attitude toward the physical desirability of women who aren’t barely-post-adolescent “9.5/10s”—it’s pretty ridiculous to suggest that mocking a man for having a small dick is “absolutely no different” from _literally calling for a physical assault_ on a black man. > [@SamuelA](#): > > Good luck with your inevitable deaths from old age. Good luck with yours, too. Although to be fair, if any of your story about devoting yourself to sex-for-pay relationships that tend to have higher-than-average STI transmission rates and close proximity to the criminal underworld is actually true, you stand a not-inconsiderably-increased chance of dying well before old age can kick in. Failing early death, however, your likelihood of being any more successful than any of the rest of us in averting death by technological means is statistically indistinguishable from zero. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420.md?page=58) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420.md?page=60)