# Technology doesn't work that way - SamuelA's Pit Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2017, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420 "2017-12-03T00:52:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 60
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1181 "2019-06-23T05:39:26Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > so fuck everyone who started such a destructive thread digression. AFAICT that would be you. **QuickSilver** back in post #1047 made one “tiny dick” remark that was actually more about your having a tiny brain, and you’ve been frantically stirring that shitkettle ever since. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1182 "2019-06-23T05:53:05Z")
You gotta measure it from the _top_. Try again. ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1183 "2019-06-23T06:34:41Z")
Huh, if that graph is right I’m actually above average and right in the middle of the “ideal” expressed by women. I’m kind of shocked! I always knew porn was providing a distorted picture, but I didn’t realize how much. > [@Kimstu](#): > > [“There’s Only One Correct Way to Measure a Penis”](https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/evqx7e/how-to-measure-penis-length-girth) > If stretched flaccid length is comparable to erect length and is easier to determine in a clinical setting, then why **wouldn’t** researchers use it? Nobody really wants to be handling some rando’s boner, much less waiting around for him to attain what he claims are his correct maximum dimensions. Fair, but is this for circumcised penises? Mine can stretch pretty damn far, but a good couple inches of that is foreskin. Plus, how do they define when to stop? There’s no exact point where it just won’t go any further, if you’re willing to experience a little discomfort. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1184 "2019-06-23T06:37:58Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > Fair, but is this for circumcised penises? Mine can stretch pretty damn far, but a good couple inches of that is foreskin. The cite I linked addresses that issue: > [@](#): > > Whether the penis you’re measuring is circumcised or not, disregard foreskin. That’s like a 5’8” dude using his man bun to get away with saying he’s 5’10”. The reading you are going to take is at the very tip of the glans or head. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1185 "2019-06-23T06:52:03Z")
> [@SamuelA](#): > > Welcome to this Pit thread. You’re in good company, with other human beings so stupid I don’t know how they make it to the bathroom without getting lost. > > Which unfortunately is probably going to be true for many of the posters here, and their life plan is to just rot until they are a corpse, as they are too afraid to even _try_ having themselves be cryogenically frozen. Because “there’s no proof it would work” or “it’s really unlikely to work” or some other utterly retarded reason. Since, you know, unproven and unlikely is one thing, while the death rate from Alzheimer’s is a sure thing. > > Do you know why you’re so stupid? Because the very set of statements you “quoted” doesn’t mean what you think it does. It’s possible for a person to have caught chlamydia/gonorrhea, notice right away the “burning sensation when I pee”, get a shot in the butt (literally), and you’ll be non transmissive in a couple weeks. And the itching and burning stops in a couple days. > > Fun times. So it would then be factually true that you _had_ an STD but _no longer have_ one. > > I suggest you follow the right hand wall and just make each turn until you find a bathroom, or if you shit your pants, make sure to summon a nurse. Nobody’s claimed you have one _now_, dipshit. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1186 "2019-06-23T07:43:30Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > And if Samuel A has an STD, which he admits he does… I don’t see “now” there; could be that there’s a “sometimes” missing. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1187 "2019-06-23T07:44:55Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > [:: me reading the last few pages of the thread ::](https://youtu.be/s-x3T5wMkEc) > > (Link contains Doom Patrol spoilers and a lot of bad language) > > …what the fuck is even happening in this thread? I like it, it’s like an old fashioned BBQ Pit Train Wreck. ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1188 "2019-06-23T08:08:30Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > The cite I linked addresses that issue: Then how do you stretch it? 😕 I think I will just stick with erect length, which is what the other cite used anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1189 "2019-06-23T08:36:13Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > Then how do you stretch it? 😕 Is it really that confusing? I have no personal experience in the penile measurement department. Does [this description](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3739181/) help? > [@](#): > > Penile measurements were performed between 10:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. under ambient light and room temperature with subjects standing up and with the penis held parallel to the floor. Penile length was measured by a ruler with millimetre markings along the dorsum of the penis from the pubopenile junction to the tip of the glans (meatus) and while under maximal, but not painful, extension. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1190 "2019-06-23T08:59:17Z")
Is it Kiev where the dummy’s banging hookers with no condom? That’s high intelligence there, what with [a 1 in four HIV infection rate](https://www.havocscope.com/ukraine-sex/). ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1191 "2019-06-23T09:07:19Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > Is it Kiev where the dummy’s banging hookers with no condom? That’s high intelligence there, what with [a 1 in four HIV infection rate](https://www.havocscope.com/ukraine-sex/). That’s what I was thinking - what proustite with even 1/2 a brain goes without a condom for ANY money? ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1192 "2019-06-23T09:18:58Z")
And if they are willing to do it, it’s a very bad sign! Maybe if they would only do it for “Indecent Proposal” type money, but otherwise, yikes. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1193 "2019-06-23T13:48:29Z")
All the focus on penis length (here, by researchers , everywhere) amuses me. Length is not the only relevant measurement when it comes to these things. As for SamuelA’s attitudes towards these women who work in the sex trade, there are no words. And to (most of) the rest of you: please remember that the sex workers you’re talking about are people. They are daughters, sisters, mothers, friends. They’re fellow human beings. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1194 "2019-06-23T16:06:48Z")
SamuelA is a fellow human being–it isn’t a high bar to reach. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1195 "2019-06-23T17:37:02Z")
A fellow human being who somehow thought that sharing his penis measurement proved he wasn’t a racist. I think. The thread got a little weird. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1196 "2019-06-23T17:44:04Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > A fellow human being who somehow thought that sharing his penis measurement proved he wasn’t a racist. I think. The thread got a little weird. It’s not a little weird. It’s a perfectly normal amount of weird. I measured it you racists! ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1197 "2019-06-23T17:49:27Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > It’s not a little weird. It’s a perfectly normal amount of weird. I measured it you racists! You used the metric scale, didn’t you? Common mistake. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1198 "2019-06-23T18:25:27Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > A fellow human being who somehow thought that sharing his penis measurement proved he wasn’t a racist. I think. The thread got a little weird. That’s extra-special weird. Also weird: bragging about how much you have to pay women to have sex with you. Remember that guy who said he hoped to get a free girl some day? I don’t think Samuel A can aspire that high. I have never encountered men like this in my entire life which has been spent primarily in male-dominated institutions. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1199 "2019-06-23T18:52:32Z")
So, lemme see here. He has a teeny weeny, which has been multiply infected because of a penchant for spending money on bareback hookers, has a FUPA as well and all that wit, charm, intelligence and personality he’s displayed in his posts here? Wow, and HE’S SINGLE, LAYDEEZ! **throws up voluminously into the thread because at this point it can only be an improvement** ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2019, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1200 "2019-06-23T19:17:31Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > So, lemme see here. He has a teeny weeny, which has been multiply infected because of a penchant for spending money on bareback hookers, has a FUPA as well and all that wit, charm, intelligence and personality he’s displayed in his posts here? Wow, and HE’S SINGLE, LAYDEEZ! > > **throws up voluminously into the thread because at this point it can only be an improvement** Hey, Ukrainian teenagers like him. For a large fee. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420.md?page=59) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420.md?page=61)