# Technology doesn't work that way - SamuelA's Pit Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2017, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420 "2017-12-03T00:52:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 70
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2019, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1381 "2019-07-11T03:03:00Z")
Oh, I missed he’d been suspended. As for a specific date I’ll got with august 13th. He’ll have a couple of days to really dive back in with tales of how he’s been whoring through the stans now since the girls are cheaper and hotter. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2019, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1382 "2019-07-11T03:14:38Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > _Let’s send off this thread’s guest of honor with song, before this thread gets locked when he’s banned. I didn’t write a parody for all of the verses of the song I’m parodying. Feel free to continue._ > > One ho over there in the Ukraine > One ho in Ukraine > Bareback in a fancy bordello > One ho in Ukraine > > spoilered out of kindness > > [spoiler]Waitin’ for the plane that goes there, hottie. > Hopin’ that the plane is on time > Bareback in a sketchy bordello > One ho in Ukraine > > Whoooo do you fuck, I hope it’s me > I’ve bin bareback’n’, as you can plainly see > I felt the burn and I learned about the pain that my momma said > If I should choose no protection, why, I would sure ly get infected > > Now I’ve one more strain in me, sweet Jesus > ‘Cause one ho in Ukraine > Bareback in that ol’ bordello > Kid ho in Ukraine > > I’m waitin’ for the pain to go away, hottie > Hopin that clap is treatable > Gettin’ penecillin in free clinics > Kid ho in Ukraine > > I paid for sex in the Ukraine > Now I’m getting a ream and scream and no biggie > I paid all the girls and loved myself, you knew > And to my surprise > Like all the other hos I’ve screwed and screwed > It opened up my eyes and now I’m > > Takin’ one burning piss, Jesus > Kid hos in Ukraine > Gettin’ my junk fixed the free STD clinic > Kids (maybe), Ukraine, Pain! > One ho in the Ukraine[/spoiler] That was unusually awful. Please don’t. > [@Tripler](#): > > Back to the normal course of the thread. . . > > If he’s overseas multiple times for 10 days each, how is he able to keep a job? > > Tripler > Current list: **Tripler** (8/18); **JohnT** (7/29) Who says he has a job? Isn’t he always babbling about interview prep? In fact, he was also talking about running up his credit card debt to support his new hobby. Gah. Anyhoo. He’s suspended for 30 days, back on August 10th. I say he’s gone August 10th. (If I’ve miscalculated which day his posting privileges return and it’s the 11th, then it’ll be the 11th. He’s out the same day he gets back.) ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2019, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1383 "2019-07-11T04:38:15Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > That was unusually awful. Please don’t. I did my best to keep the meter. Oh, and given the subject matter, well, sketchy doesn’t exactly lend itself to Nobel level rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2019, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1384 "2019-07-11T10:40:47Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > Anyone asking where to buy weed will, at best, likely return to find that thread closed. Your local dispensary ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2019, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1385 "2019-07-11T11:55:25Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > Who says he has a job? Isn’t he always babbling about interview prep? In fact, he was also talking about running up his credit card debt to support his new hobby. Gah. He did: he’d posted he was an engineer working for a “top tier automotive parts company” or some such over-inflated horseshit, and IIRC recently moved to Atlanta for some new position. This was all during the time he was preparing for FAANG interviews and evolving into the embodiment of an Internet meme (“[I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, so here’s a picture of some cats.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21688897&postcount=943)”) > [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > Anyhoo. He’s suspended for 30 days, back on August 10th. I say he’s gone August 10th. (If I’ve miscalculated which day his posting privileges return and it’s the 11th, then it’ll be the 11th. He’s out the same day he gets back.) Fair enough. Yer in. Tripler I don’t know what you’re talking about, so here’s a signature with some stats:[sub] Current list: **Tripler** (8/18); **JohnT** (7/29); **Oredigger77** (8/13), **SunnyDaze** (8/10 or 11 dependent on privilege restoration)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2019, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1386 "2019-07-11T14:34:02Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > Anyone asking where to buy weed will, at best, likely return to find that thread closed. > [@kayaker](#): > > Your local dispensary [Discussing the effects of illegal drugs is okay, where to obtain them is not.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=21288690#post21288690) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2019, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1387 "2019-07-11T14:43:55Z")
Discussion of marijuana is allowed so long as it doesn’t cross the line into advocating for breaking the law. Which leaves room for an awful lot of discussion, but also excludes some. And **Tripler** , you covered Acts of God’s Dog, but what about Words of God’s Dog? Because he did speak three times in his life. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2019, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1388 "2019-07-11T15:00:10Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Discussion of marijuana is allowed so long as it doesn’t cross the line into advocating for breaking the law. Which leaves room for an awful lot of discussion, but also excludes some. > > And **Tripler** , you covered Acts of God’s Dog, but what about Words of God’s Dog? Because he did speak three times in his life. What about promotion of illegal prostitution…whether you believe the person promoting it actually does it or not? ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2019, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1389 "2019-07-11T15:11:33Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > What about promotion of illegal prostitution…whether you believe the person promoting it actually does it or not? Not only promoting it (as in talking about how great it is and thus encouraging its practice) but going into the logistics of it. Here’s where I go, how I pick women up, the costs, etc. Basically giving instructions and advice on how to do it. And linking to (and advocating) a forum that supports people who engage in that behavior. To me that’s beyond just promoting it, it’s helping others engage in it. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2019, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1390 "2019-07-11T15:41:55Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > To me that’s beyond just promoting it, it’s helping others engage in it. Although to be fair, it’s unlikely that other posters are sufficiently impressed by **SamuelA** to want to follow in his footsteps in this or any other regard. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2019, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1391 "2019-07-11T16:04:56Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Although to be fair, it’s unlikely that other posters are sufficiently impressed by **SamuelA** to want to follow in his footsteps in this or any other regard. Heh, an argument can be made that an endorsement by someone as unpopular as SamuelA is a de facto discouragement of those practices. 🙂 Potential for actual real-life harm aside, I still think it makes the SDMB look bad. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1392 "2019-07-12T01:50:59Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > And **Tripler** , you covered Acts of God’s Dog, but what about Words of God’s Dog? Because he did speak three times in his life. > [@Czarcasm](#): > > What about promotion of illegal prostitution…whether you believe the person promoting it actually does it or not? I was unaware that God’s Dog had spoken any more than “Woof,” “Bark,” and “Bow-wow.” If God’s Dog starts speaking, then descriptions of aqueous solutions of nitrates, urea, uric acids and creatinines are permissible. . . However if Divine Fido starts talking about banging any bitch around the block, then the jig is up. Tripler If a dog starts speaking, though, then I think we’re going to start having a lot more discussions about marijuana. . . [sub]Current list: **Tripler** (8/18); **JohnT** (7/29); **Oredigger77** (8/13), **SunnyDaze** (8/10 or 11 dependent on privilege restoration)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1393 "2019-07-12T04:03:40Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > Heh, an argument can be made that an endorsement by someone as unpopular as SamuelA is a de facto discouragement of those practices. They could use that in an anti-prostitution campaign: “The odds are low that the hooker you meet will make you Eskimo Brothers with SamuelA–but is it a risk that you are willing to take?” ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1394 "2019-07-12T04:27:51Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Eskimo Brothers :eek: Please, **Darren** —the preferred term is “cooch cousins”. Good slogan otherwise, though! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1395 "2019-07-12T04:49:06Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > Not only promoting it (as in talking about how great it is and thus encouraging its practice) but going into the logistics of it. Here’s where I go, how I pick women up, the costs, etc. Basically giving instructions and advice on how to do it. And linking to (and advocating) a forum that supports people who engage in that behavior. To me that’s beyond just promoting it, it’s helping others engage in it. The only report I’ve gotten from this thread on that subject has been to [this](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=21742834#post21742834) post. I tried to read back from there to find the post you’re describing, and after a couple pages, I decided that they are not paying me enough to read anymore about **SamuelA** ’s penis. Do you have a link to the posts you think are particularly worth moderating? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1396 "2019-07-12T05:06:20Z")
Perhaps this? [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21741935&postcount=1307](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21741935&postcount=1307) ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1397 "2019-07-12T05:11:32Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Perhaps this? > > [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21741935&postcount=1307](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21741935&postcount=1307) I thought he’d linked to it but apparently just named it. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1398 "2019-07-12T05:20:29Z")
When it comes to posts where he is essentially providing advice on where to go, costs, and so on I was thinking of posts like this: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21742326&postcount=1321](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21742326&postcount=1321) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21743091&postcount=1347](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21743091&postcount=1347) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21743097&postcount=1348](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21743097&postcount=1348) Maybe I’m reading too much into them. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1399 "2019-07-12T05:37:56Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Although to be fair, it’s unlikely that other posters are sufficiently impressed by **SamuelA** to want to follow in his footsteps in this or any other regard. Actually, I, for one, have recently enjoyed the pleasures of condomless sex with random hookers thanks to his lifestyle choices/advocacy. On exactly Wednesday, August 14th, SamuelA will become a mod. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420/1400 "2019-07-12T05:53:20Z")
Oh hell no. You’ll have to speak to **Tripler** about how that fits into the Cheeto pool. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420.md?page=69) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/technology-doesnt-work-that-way-samuelas-pit-thread/803420.md?page=71)