# Ted Cruz's Evolving Ideology

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 14, 2016, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151 "2016-04-14T01:19:26Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 16\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/1 "2016-04-14T01:19:26Z")

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[Cruz once defended a Texas law banning the sale and promotion of “obscene devices” (as opposed to “obscene devises”, which keep probate attorneys up at night), which is to say, dildos and other sex toys](http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/04/ted-cruz-dildo-ban-sex-devices-texas):

> [@Teddy Sez: Dildon't Mess With Texas](#):
>
> In 2007, Cruz’s legal team, working on behalf of then-Attorney General Greg Abbott (who now is the governor), filed a 76-page brief calling on the US Court of Appeals for the 5th Circuit to uphold the lower court’s decision and permit the law to stand. The filing noted, “The Texas Penal Code prohibits the advertisement and sale of dildos, artificial vaginas, and other obscene devices” but does not “forbid the private use of such devices.” The plaintiffs had argued that this case was similar to Lawrence v. Texas, the landmark 2003 Supreme Court decision that struck down Texas’ law against sodomy. But Cruz’s office countered that Lawrence “focused on interpersonal relationships and the privacy of the home” and that the law being challenged did not block the “private use of obscene devices.” Cruz’s legal team asserted that “obscene devices do not implicate any liberty interest.” And its brief added that “any alleged right associated with obscene devices” is not “deeply rooted in the Nation’s history and traditions.” In other words, Texans were free to use sex toys at home, but they did not have the right to buy them.
> 
> The brief insisted that Texas, in order to protect “public morals,” had “police-power interests” in “discouraging prurient interests in sexual gratification, combating the commercial sale of sex, and protecting minors.” There was a “government” interest, it maintained, in “discouraging…autonomous sex.” The brief compared the use of sex toys to “hiring a willing prostitute or engaging in consensual bigamy,” and it equated advertising these products with the commercial promotion of prostitution. In perhaps the most noticeable line of the brief, Cruz’s office declared, **“There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship.”** That is, the pursuit of such happiness had no constitutional standing. And the brief argued there was no “right to promote dildos, vibrators, and other obscene devices.” The plaintiffs, it noted, were “free to engage in unfettered noncommercial speech touting the uses of obscene devices,” but not speech designed to generate the sale of these items.

The bolded part is the money shot here. (He lost the appeal 2-1 on _Lawrence_ grounds, BTW.)

So, Cruz is campaigning as a Mighty Tighty Whitey who’s definitely [del]not the Zodiac Killer[/del] Holier Than Thou. This is running up against a problem with public communication: Namely, _people outside his campaign can engage in it_. [Here’s what a former college roomate of Cruz’s had to say](https://twitter.com/clmazin/status/720259227067920385):

> [@Craig Mazin](#):
>
> Ted Cruz thinks people don’t have a right to “stimulate their genitals.” I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.

Speaking of public image, that image is now in your brain, too. You’re welcome.

[Here’s more from Mr. Mazin, courtesy of _The Telegraph_.](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/04/13/ted-cruzs-ex-roommate-keeps-tweeting-bizarre-anecdotes-of-the-se/)

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**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/2 "2016-04-14T01:46:43Z")

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So he’s a foreigner and a masterbator, and lies about both. Next, he’ll advance his campaign by lying to the media about the withdrawal of his competitors.

Is this sweaty, awkward nitwit who can’t even insult someone properly really the best the GOP can do to counter Donald Trump? If not, they kind of deserve what they get. After all, Trump is just taking the nonsense they’ve been trying to scare Americans into believing and putting his own absurdist spin on it, and apparently Republican voters can’t get enough of it.

Meanwhile, Kate McKinnon continues to nail the deeply unhinged megalomania hiding just below the surface of Hillary Clinton, and is running neck and neck with Larry David to see who gets to impersonate the most accidentially powerful person on the planet for the next four years. Even Trevor Noah can’t make this not funny.

Stranger

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**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/3 "2016-04-14T01:55:43Z")

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So the scandal is Ted Cruz masturbated in college and was Solicitor General of Texas when somebody challenged the state’s ban on advertising sex toys? The horror.

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**Author:** ![puddleglum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puddleglum/32/137_2.png) [@puddleglum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puddleglum)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/4 "2016-04-14T18:33:06Z")

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Just because you think a law is constitutional does not mean you think it is a good idea. As the right to stick things inside you and vice versa is not mentioned in the constitution he is correct that there is no constitutional right affected. If the legislature deems these toys to be a threat to public health then that is up to the people who elect them to decide to either elect new representatives or live without these toys.

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**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/5 "2016-04-14T18:45:29Z")

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I would love to hear all of the candidates publicly answer about their personal beliefs concerning dildos. Maybe next Sunday morning on the talkies.

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**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/6 "2016-04-14T19:28:19Z")

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> [@bobot](#):
>
> I would love to hear all of the candidates publicly answer about their personal beliefs concerning dildos. Maybe next Sunday morning on the talkies.

Isn’t this really an issue that the wives should address?

Or undress…

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**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\
**Post date:** [April 15, 2016, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/7 "2016-04-15T16:45:06Z")

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It was Cruz’ job to defend the law.

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**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\
**Post date:** [April 15, 2016, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/8 "2016-04-15T20:27:00Z")

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Wow. Some people really can’t take it when they think it’s political, can they?

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**Author:** ![WildBlueYonder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WildBlueYonder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildBlueYonder)\
**Post date:** [April 15, 2016, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/9 "2016-04-15T21:40:35Z")

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Ya cant just vote one or two new congresspeople in and expect change. A few at a time will only make them easier to be indoctrinated into the “good ole boys” network

Ya have to dump them all for real change.

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**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\
**Post date:** [April 15, 2016, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/10 "2016-04-15T21:46:42Z")

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> [@WildBlueYonder](#):
>
> Ya cant just vote one or two new congresspeople in and expect change. A few at a time will only make them easier to be indoctrinated into the “good ole boys” network
> 
> Ya have to dump them all for real change.

If nothing else, that would certainly make the Senate Chamber quieter.

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**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\
**Post date:** [April 15, 2016, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/11 "2016-04-15T21:49:15Z")

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Don’t say “evolve” when talking about Ted Cruz. He don’t believe in no Satanic evolooshun.

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**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\
**Post date:** [April 15, 2016, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/12 "2016-04-15T22:13:25Z")

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[Cruz is opposing a bill before the Senate which would help to fight international sex slavery, because it doesn’t do enough to prevent girls who are sold as sex slaves from getting abortions.](http://wonkette.com/600711/ted-cruz-wishes-child-sex-slaves-would-think-of-the-unborn-babies)

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**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\
**Post date:** [April 15, 2016, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/13 "2016-04-15T22:32:20Z")

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> [@bobot](#):
>
> I would love to hear all of the candidates publicly answer about their personal beliefs concerning dildos. Maybe next Sunday morning on the talkies.

Trump would like you to know that he would be in favor of selling dildos molded in the shape and size of his own penis, but unfortunately it would require too much plastic to be profitable, nudge nudge.

> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#):
>
> Don’t say “evolve” when talking about Ted Cruz. He don’t believe in no Satanic evolooshun.

Yeah, my first though was “Ted Cruz’s Intelligent Designed Ideology.” However he’s no Ben Carson, and Cruz has never answered about what he believes here directly. His dad seems to think it is a Marxist plot FWIW.

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**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\
**Post date:** [April 15, 2016, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/14 "2016-04-15T22:48:04Z")

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> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#):
>
> [Cruz is opposing a bill before the Senate which would help to fight international sex slavery, because it doesn’t do enough to prevent girls who are sold as sex slaves from getting abortions.](http://wonkette.com/600711/ted-cruz-wishes-child-sex-slaves-would-think-of-the-unborn-babies)

See? If I were going for a political thread, this is the kind of stuff I would have brought up: A horrifying look into his actual priorities which is utterly unfunny.

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**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\
**Post date:** [April 16, 2016, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/15 "2016-04-16T06:52:44Z")

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> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#):
>
> It was Cruz’ job to defend the law.

A job Cruz chose to accept. And I have a hard time believing it was just his job anyways. His job was to argue about advertising. But that quote describes the act in general as not being a “due process right.” It sure reads like something that flies in the face of _Lawrence_. Sounds more like arguing something he knew was false.

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**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\
**Post date:** [April 16, 2016, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ted-cruzs-evolving-ideology/752151/16 "2016-04-16T12:03:06Z")

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The Right to insert anything into any part of one’s body, repeatedly and publicly, was certainly vital to some Patriots — such as the coterie of politicians in the South Carolinas known as Blackman’s Nancies, who later formed a gallant body of Light Horse. Amos FitzGerald Blackman 1729 - 1809 spent his life rotating on various devices, and was sorely persecuted by both Church and State for this before the Revolution.  
He spent the last decade of his life urging an Amendment rather graphically defining ‘_The Pursuit of Happiness_’.
