# Teddy bears for adults **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 3, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326 "2009-02-03T23:00:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CallMeKate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3d9bf3/32.png) [@CallMeKate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CallMeKate)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/21 "2009-02-05T03:44:54Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I should add: A stuffed animal was the deal-sealer with the wife. Back when we were starting to date at the U of Hawaii, she had this cloth thing tacked to the outside of the door of her room at the East West Center on campus. It had a medium-sized pocket, and I slipped a little stuffed seal in it late one night for her to find the next morning. That was it! I became hers forever. Today, the seal is on our teakwood nightstand by the bed, minus his whiskers at this late date. Uhm… Flipping adorable! I agree wholeheartedly with this sort of thing, no matter how old you get, there is still an element of delight and surprise even when you get something that doesn’t seem to fit your maturity level.. The sentiment is still there, and you know it. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/22 "2009-02-05T03:59:17Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > or, better yet, give me a card or letter saying sweet things in his own words. What if he got out a needle, thread, some cloth and stuffing. Went on the internet to learn how to sew a Teddy Bear and made one especially for you tailored towards something you like doing or related to your job or something? And since the thread is teddy bears for adults and not women, as a guy I’ll chime in. I’d LOVE getting a teddy bear, I sort of have a stuffed animal collection you see and cute bears are awesome. I even have little personalities for each one (no, I’m not crazy, just bored, that part is more for when kids visit). ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/23 "2009-02-05T04:52:20Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I have never met a Thai woman who did not go gaga over a stuffed animal. This is one of those cultural differences that get under my skin and drive me nuts. Every day here I see 30+ year old professional women, with advanced degrees and business suits and whatever, walking around town carrying giant teddy bears like some eight year old at a carnival. My school’s Christmas gift to me was a giant pink teddy bear and some mittens that look like poodles. I’m nearly 30 and conduct myself very much like an adult. To me it seems very infantalizing and plays into a whole construct that women are child-like creatures not to be taken seriously. And I can’t make sense of how women seem to just eat it up. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/24 "2009-02-05T05:02:17Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > This is one of those cultural differences that get under my skin and drive me nuts. Every day here I see 30+ year old professional women, with advanced degrees and business suits and whatever, walking around town carrying giant teddy bears like some eight year old at a carnival. > > My school’s Christmas gift to me was a giant pink teddy bear and some mittens that look like poodles. I’m nearly 30 and conduct myself very much like an adult. To me it seems very infantalizing and plays into a whole construct that women are child-like creatures not to be taken seriously. And I can’t make sense of how women seem to just eat it up. Here in Thailand, children’s cartoon characters are commonly worn on adult women’s clothing. The wife’s cousin, a lady in her 40s who has a master’s degree in marketing and has worked in that capacity for ar least a couple of international firms, is particularly fond of Winnie the Pooh wear. (The wife has a fondness for Snoopy, as do all Thai ladies, but I’m willing to give Snoopy a break 😃 .) ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/25 "2009-02-05T05:10:53Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Here in Thailand, children’s cartoon characters are commonly worn on adult women’s clothing. The wife’s cousin, a lady in her 40s who has a master’s degree in marketing and has worked in that capacity for ar least a couple of international firms, is particularly fond of Winnie the Pooh wear. (The wife has a fondness for Snoopy, as do all Thai ladies, but I’m willing to give Snoopy a break 😃 .) And they’re not commonly worn in the US? Or do soccer moms not count anymore? ETA: Er… read the above again, except without the accidental condescension. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/26 "2009-02-05T05:18:39Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > And they’re not commonly worn in the US? Or do soccer moms not count anymore? > > ETA: Er… read the above again, except without the accidental condescension. Well, I’ve been out of the loop for quite a while, so maybe they are these days. Dunno. But they didn’t back when I first came over here, so the local ladies’ proclivity for such wear still seems a trifle bizarre. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/27 "2009-02-05T05:24:25Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Well, I’ve been out of the loop for quite a while, so maybe they are these days. Dunno. But they didn’t back when I first came over here, so the local ladies’ proclivity for such wear still seems a trifle bizarre. Well, I admit you don’t see it as “around the town” wear so much as “around the family” wear, or maybe my family is just weird, but I’ve seen friends parents with it. Either way, if it’s as widespread you’re making it sound it is a tad bizarre I suppose (especially with the American stereotype of Southeast Asians in general being a tad… staunch in mind). ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/28 "2009-02-05T06:57:06Z")
I would think it was pretty weird if any of my mommy friends showed up with a Snoopy shirt on, unless it was like a pair of fleece jammy pants or something to wear at home. (That said, I have a Max and Ruby t-shirt, but it says “Read to your bunny” on it–I sort of collect literacy shirts, though I only wear them with sweats around the house.) No, I don’t want a teddy bear. I do think of it as a generic last-minute gift, unless the guy knows it will mean something special. I do actually have a pattern book of tiny felt teddy bears with different outfits (mom, dad, Santa, Girl Scout, etc.). I wouldn’t mind getting one of those, if it was meaningful. But that’s more the sort of thing you’d get from a female-type person, since not a lot of guys are into sewing tiny crafty things. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/29 "2009-02-05T07:52:55Z")
My mother has a very select collection (6) of teddy bears. She loves them, some are gifts from friends, some commemorate events. They have to be very special to avoid the toy bin in the spare room, gifts from beloved friends or not. One that I gave her is displayed all by himself on a table, rather than being stuffed in with the bear ‘arrangement’ at the other end of the lounge. High praise indeed. I would instantly give any stuffed toy to my kid, they do nothing for me. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/30 "2009-02-05T08:44:48Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Well, I admit you don’t see it as “around the town” wear so much as “around the family” wear, or maybe my family is just weird, but I’ve seen friends parents with it. Either way, if it’s as widespread you’re making it sound it is a tad bizarre I suppose (especially with the American stereotype of Southeast Asians in general being a tad… staunch in mind). In Japan it’s pretty similar. From how I’ve heard it explained, many parts of the culture are so stringently regimented that one of the releases for all of this stress that gets created is through cute things. That’s why bank calendars have Tom and Jerry or Peanuts characters on them. Can you imagine banking somewhere in the states if the default image on your ATM card was Garfield? ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/31 "2009-02-05T09:24:33Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > This is one of those cultural differences that get under my skin and drive me nuts. Every day here I see 30+ year old professional women, with advanced degrees and business suits and whatever, walking around town carrying giant teddy bears like some eight year old at a carnival. > > My school’s Christmas gift to me was a giant pink teddy bear and some mittens that look like poodles. I’m nearly 30 and conduct myself very much like an adult. To me it seems very infantalizing and plays into a whole construct that women are child-like creatures not to be taken seriously. And I can’t make sense of how women seem to just eat it up. Sounds like somebody’s encountering teh culture shock . . . what if the professional ladies you see are simply secure and confident in their inner _squee!_ ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/32 "2009-02-05T17:12:33Z")
> [@hellpaso](#): > > I’ve started seeing those ads for whatever company that makes the custom teddy bears. The women all squeal with delight and look at the recipient of the bear with unbridled envy. It’s worth noting that if the OP is talking about the same commercial I saw today, it’s actually a very clever parody of the “male enhancement” ads you see late at night on basic cable. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/33 "2009-02-05T17:22:58Z")
If given in Love, they are a way to connect with the heart of the person giving it. It’s something that can be held and cuddled, something to life the spirits of the person, sometimes with just a look. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/34 "2009-02-05T17:23:37Z")
I fucking hate them. Aside from the fact that they’re dust collectors, there’s nothing so special about them that would make me want to adorn my home with them. There is an exception that I am tolerating. We got the stuffed critters when people made donations to the World Wildlife Federation. Those dudes are sitting on top of my TV for now. My son’s (girlfriend’s) kids like to mess with them when they come over. My mother in law has something like 500 beanie babies, which she’s dedicated an entire bedroom and other flat surfaces in her house to. She also has almost life-sized tigers on her living room floor. Gaaaaah! They suck. (I have a bear that Mr. K gave me for V’day a few years ago, but it’s in a closet.) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/35 "2009-02-05T17:48:58Z")
I invote you to enjoy a previous thread of mine: [The Teddy Bear People Think the Baby Doll People are Weird](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=393138&highlight=Bear) ---
**Author:** ![hellpaso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecae2f/32.png) [@hellpaso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hellpaso)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/36 "2009-02-05T18:38:55Z")
> [@Cliffy](#): > > It’s worth noting that if the OP is talking about the same commercial I saw today, it’s actually a very clever parody of the “male enhancement” ads you see late at night on basic cable. > > –Cliffy Great observation–I hadn’t thought of that. However, both commercials are geared toward men, aren’t they? mmm . . .🆒 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/37 "2009-02-05T18:53:55Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > If given in Love, they are a way to connect with the heart of the person giving it. Would that be Love, AZ; Love, IL; Love, KY; Love, MS; Love, TX; or Love, VA? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/38 "2009-02-05T19:04:09Z")
> [@CallMeKate](#): > > I agree wholeheartedly with this sort of thing, no matter how old you get, there is still an element of delight and surprise even when you get something that doesn’t seem to fit your maturity level.. The sentiment is still there, and you know it. My parents got a little army man in a box of cereal once and now take turns hiding it on one another in places in the house where they know the other will be amused. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/39 "2009-02-05T19:04:33Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > Sounds like somebody’s encountering teh culture shock . . . what if the professional ladies you see are simply secure and confident in their inner _squee!_ Perhaps. Spending my life surrounded by thousands of squeeling, squeeking and- yes- squeeing teenage girls is enough to make me want to punch Hello Kitty right in her non-existant mouth, and sometimes the bitterness I have to cultivate to keep my sanity gets out of line. But I also see how I get treated differently than my male co-workers, and I see how the women I know and respect seem to undergo near complete personality changes the moment a man walks into a room. I’d venture the experience of female gender roles in China is a little different when you are actually expected to ACT like a Chinese woman, not just befriend them. I’ve lived in cultures where women were not allowed to leave the house without their husband’s permission, and it still didn’t get under my skin the way the whole 30-year-old woman walking around with a giant teddy bear thing. I know it’s just a cultural difference that I ought to try to understand rather than criticize, but for whatever reason that’s probably been one of the biggest challenges I’ve faced here. Anyway, I should end this hijack. No teddy bears for me, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326/40 "2009-02-05T19:05:13Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > My mother has a very select collection (6) of teddy bears. She loves them, some are gifts from friends, some commemorate events. They have to be very special to avoid the toy bin in the spare room, gifts from beloved friends or not. > > One that I gave her is displayed all by himself on a table, rather than being stuffed in with the bear ‘arrangement’ at the other end of the lounge. High praise indeed. > > I would instantly give any stuffed toy to my kid, they do nothing for me. I do have a few special stuffed animals that were gifts or whatnot long ago, but they all end up with the kids anyhow. Really, what better fate for them to be loved and played with? I used to keep a few things out because they were ‘special,’ but I no longer care and have changed my mind about that sort of thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teddy-bears-for-adults/484326.md?page=3)