# Teen Burglars Kill Goldfish To "Leave No Witnesses" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334 "2011-02-14T18:26:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/61 "2011-02-16T11:56:15Z")
These kids could be spending a whale in jail. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/62 "2011-02-16T14:42:57Z")
You people are gilling me. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/63 "2011-02-16T17:15:36Z")
Shit just got reel. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/64 "2011-02-16T17:21:26Z")
Looks like they took the bait. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/65 "2011-02-16T17:41:50Z")
Someone did “flounder” already. And “school”. Guess I just ain’t learned my plaice. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/66 "2011-02-16T20:07:41Z")
They should just lock them in a room with Joe Pesci. That would be … funny. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/67 "2011-02-16T21:38:18Z")
I’ m sure that after they get out of jail, they will end up on Squid Row. ---
**Author:** ![SeldomSeen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@SeldomSeen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeldomSeen)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/68 "2011-02-16T22:07:30Z")
> [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](#): > > I once learned to lip read fishes. Unfortunately they don’t have anything interesting to say. They just keep repeating “O. O. O. O. O…” and nothing else. Silly…you were listening to the wrong end. Everyone knows [fish communicate by farting.](http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/content/news/news/511/) ETA: sorry if that seems sharky…reading this just makes me crabby ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/69 "2011-02-25T17:20:43Z")
Too bad puns can’t be sold. We’d make a krilling. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/70 "2011-02-25T18:54:18Z")
If you believe in astrology, I hear the crooks were Pices and Libra. ---
**Author:** ![Marc\_Xenos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Marc\_Xenos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marc_Xenos)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/71 "2011-02-25T20:23:53Z")
This entire thread sounds like a Wet Dream. (Thank you, Kip Adotta.) ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/72 "2011-02-25T22:01:46Z")
> [@Marc\_Xenos](#): > > This entire thread sounds like a Wet Dream. > (Thank you, Kip Adotta.) a whale of a song! > **[Lyrics By XVR27 - Addotta, Kip - Wet Dreams](http://www.com-www.com/musiclyrics/addottakip-wetdream.html)** ---
**Author:** ![Dude111](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ba8739/32.png) [@Dude111](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dude111)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/73 "2011-02-25T22:53:46Z")
What stupid thieving idiots they are!!! Poor goldfish ☹ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/74 "2011-02-26T04:41:20Z")
Those fish were dead . . . by hook or by crook. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/75 "2011-02-26T05:04:41Z")
How do we know that the fish didn’t commit suicide? ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/76 "2011-02-26T15:40:06Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > How do we know that the fish didn’t commit suicide? Come on. Do you think they’d _choose_ to sleep with the fishes? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2011, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/77 "2011-02-27T00:40:51Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Come on. Do you think they’d _choose_ to sleep with the fishes? 😛 They’re _ **fish** _! Of course that’s who they would choose to sleep with. Unless they are rednecks, and choose sheep. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![GiantRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@GiantRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GiantRat)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2011, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/78 "2011-02-27T04:10:51Z")
From what I understand, when the cops tackled this kid he was as cool as a cucumber, sea, and that’s the problem with kids these days… they’ve got no sole. We should take them out behind the barnacle and shoot them. It’s a shame, too, I hear that before he became a delinquent the kid could shoot a basketball from half court and get nothing but net. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2011, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/79 "2011-02-27T04:16:32Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > They’re _ **fish** _! Of course that’s who they would choose to sleep with. Unless they are rednecks, and choose sheep. :smack: Redneck goldfish? Goldneck redfish? 🙂 (I’m floundering.) ---
**Author:** ![billigan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a4c791/32.png) [@billigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billigan)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/80 "2011-02-27T04:22:39Z")
The getaway car was an older model barracuda. I heard they would’ve gotten away if it hadn’t blown a seal. This thread reminded me of that old song, something about a “wet dream…in the middle of the gulf stream”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334.md?page=5)