# Teen Burglars Kill Goldfish To "Leave No Witnesses" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334 "2011-02-14T18:26:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2011, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/81 "2011-02-27T04:53:28Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I believe there have been a few cases where prosecutors have tried to get animals accepted in court as witnesses. Specifically, parrots and/or other talking birds, who supposedly could verbally ID the criminal. IIRC one of these birds did a verbal reenactment of his owner’s murder,\*\* including saying the name of the murderer. \*\* > > AFAIK, no judge has allowed that kind of testimony into a trial. Perhaps the burglar’s name was Bob. Hope he doesn’t get put on death roe. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2011, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/82 "2011-02-27T05:05:11Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > They’re _ **fish** _! Of course that’s who they would choose to sleep with. Unless they are rednecks, and choose sheep. :smack: Or a Doper forgot to log out of the board and left their computer unattended. ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2011, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/83 "2011-02-27T17:08:06Z")
> [@GiantRat](#): > > …cool as a cucumber, sea, and… Genius. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2011, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/84 "2011-02-28T05:02:18Z")
Hey, it looks like \*\*TunaDiver \*\*has threadspotted us. ---
**Author:** ![Apocalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Apocalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apocalypso)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/85 "2011-02-28T21:14:17Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I believe there have been a few cases where prosecutors have tried to get animals accepted in court as witnesses. Specifically, parrots and/or other talking birds, who supposedly could verbally ID the criminal. IIRC one of these birds did a verbal reenactment of his owner’s murder, including saying the name of the murderer. > > AFAIK, no judge has allowed that kind of testimony into a trial. Really? What does the judge say when they trout out the evidence? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/86 "2011-02-28T21:21:54Z")
He tells them to Go Fish. ---
**Author:** ![Cassio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@Cassio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cassio)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2011, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/87 "2011-03-04T13:38:58Z")
There is no logical Bass-sis for killing the goldfish! ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2011, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/88 "2011-03-04T14:00:01Z")
These puns are reely crappie. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/89 "2011-03-04T15:24:42Z")
> [@billigan](#): > > The getaway car was an older model barracuda. I heard they would’ve gotten away if it hadn’t **blown a seal**. I’m pretty sure that was just ice cream. ---
**Author:** ![Debon\_Err](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ea924/32.png) [@Debon\_Err](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debon_Err)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/90 "2011-03-04T17:59:38Z")
This thread should really end soon, but I trout that will happen. The repeat puns are starting to stink. I’ll keep waiting with baited breath for it to end. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2011, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/91 "2011-03-04T19:10:18Z")
Thanks, Chum. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2011, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/92 "2011-03-04T19:17:10Z")
> [@Debon\_Err](#): > > This thread should really end soon, but I trout that will happen. The repeat puns are starting to stink. I’ll keep waiting with baited breath for it to end. After three days, fish and threads really start to stink. Well, it’s been 17 days… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2011, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/93 "2011-03-04T19:18:03Z")
Yeah, that was quite the gaff. ---
**Author:** ![Debon\_Err](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ea924/32.png) [@Debon\_Err](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debon_Err)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/94 "2011-03-04T19:20:04Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > After three days, fish and threads really start to stink. Well, it’s been 17 days… Are you fishing for a response here? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/95 "2011-03-04T19:59:30Z")
Probably looking for an pun exchange. You know, squid pro quo. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2011, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/96 "2011-03-04T20:12:57Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Probably looking for an pun exchange. You know, squid pro quo. **Austin Powers** : Yes…squid pro roe. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334/97 "2011-03-04T20:35:49Z")
Are we traveling upstream? Have we reached _el fin_? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teen-burglars-kill-goldfish-to-leave-no-witnesses/571334.md?page=4)