Anxiety. I have generalized anxiety disorder, and I never got that “nothing bad can happen to me” thing that some teenagers have going on. I envy people who can think that way (I know it can have bad consequences, but it must feel good). Driving was, and to some degree still is, scary for me. I do it now, but it still scares me a bit. As a result, driving has always been a chore for me, it has never been something I have enjoyed doing, to this day. The anxiety also put a lid on any teenage desire I might have had to go out and drink or smoke (too scared of what would happen if I got caught) or have sex (too scared of getting pregnant).
Introversion and Nintendo. I didn’t have much of a social life in high school. I would have rather stayed home and played Nintendo. I’d still generally rather stay home and play computer games than go out somewhere if I have to drive there. Introverts and people who’d rather stay at home than go out go through the teenage years, too.
Poor spatial reasoning skills. Learning to parallel park was very hard for me, because I’m not at all good at any kind of spatial problem. I couldn’t learn to do it until I threw out the idea of “learning to do it the way everybody else does it” and just looked for a way that I could do it, that would be good enough to pass the driver’s test. I still don’t parallel park in tight spaces now.
We’re fundamentally “trapped” by being limited, finite, mortal human beings. It’s just a matter of choosing your compromises based on your own needs and priorities, and someone else’s choices aren’t wrong just because you don’t understand them. Their motivations aren’t your motivations, and it’s quite possible you’ll never understand them. For that reason, it’s a good thing that your understanding isn’t ultimately all that important. Another one of those “limited mortal human being” things.
Interesting. I wonder if the rise of “geek culture” made society more accepting of introverts. Certainly, much young-adult social interaction is computer-mediated now; 15-20 years ago, only a true nerd would be spending that much time in front of a computer or console. Now, even the cool kids are a little nerdy. Cool technology isn’t powered (directly) by fossil fuels and virtual vistas are more important than the wide world.
I think that to some degree, Western society is becoming more cocooned. The next generation may, to some extent, be more stay-at-home than ours, and much more so than our parents’.
My mom got her first car when she was 17, which was over 40 years ago, and she’s still not comfortable in heavy, fast-moving traffic. It’s just not something she’s in often enough to get used to. She’s fine with slow, heavy traffic, she’s fine with high speeds in light traffic, but you put her on a highway-speed road with a lot of traffic, and it’s white knuckle time. I didn’t drive on any sort of regular basis until I was in my 20’s but when I did I drove regularly on those sorts of roads because that was where I needed to go, so I was much more comfortable with them after 2 years of regular driving than she was after nearly 30.
Same thing with the steep, narrow, crooked roads that surround me now. These roads scared the loving shit out of me when we first moved to mountains. Not that we didn’t have plenty of narrow, crooked roads around home, but those were mostly flat and there wasn’t a 50-foot drop-off on one side and there were no coal trucks barreling at you around the curves. And not that I hadn’t driven on roads like this once in a while coming to visit the in-laws. But two months of driving these roads on a day-in, day-out basis did more to get me comfortable with them than ten years of once every few months did.
I’ve noticed that, too, that drivers who come to it later in life never seem to reach the same comfort level. It isn’t a hard and fast rule, of course, but it does seem to be a general rule.
Agreed. My car is paid off, so no payments, the insurance is complete coverage and about $100 a month, and I use about $30 of gas per month, so probably around $2000 a year for me to have a small, reliable car available for my use whenever I want (including repairs and maintenance). A monthly bus pass here costs $94/month ($1128 per year). I’ll take the car and have the freedom to go where I want, when I want for not much more money.
Because every time someone brings up the actual reasons (gas prices, car prices, insurance prices, license restrictions for teens), someone else pipes up with “But do you really think that’s the reason? Isn’t it just as likely teens these days suck?”
I question which way the arrow of causality points here. It could be that people who are not as comfortable and confident driving are less likely to learn to drive as teenagers than people who are. Or, they may try to learn to drive as teenagers, but not succeed, or give up because it’s difficult for them.
Maybe people who are not confident and comfortable with driving are less likely to do it when they don’t need to. Most teenagers do not need to drive. Most working adults do. I only got my driver’s license when I really needed to, no earlier.
= I don’t want to make a judgment, but … I will make one that not having a car limits your life.
And of course most posters in this thread are also making the judgment that the only reason teens don’t want to get a license and drive is because they are being driven around and/or live at their parents. It can’t be that more people live in cities with mass transit. It can’t be that it’s too expensive and people don’t want to be stuck for years with high fixed costs. It can’t be that teens are getting more responsible and realizing both the dangers of traffic accidents and of the impact on climate. No, the only reason is that teens live with their parents who chauffeur them around, or a general “I got my license as teen and simply can’t understand why todays youth doesn’t.”
As a teenager, isn’t that the point? Why bother getting a license when you’ll have to take the bus everywhere anyway? Others keep talking of the freedom it gave them, well it’s not much freedom when you don’t have a car or access to one and no one will rent one to you because you’re under 18 or have a GDL*. If I had gotten mine as a teenager I doubt I’d be a good driver now, I would have been sadly out of practice when I finally had access to a car despite having a valid license.
Of course this doesn’t quite apply when you will have access even if you aren’t a daily driver but it was one more reason for me.
*Graduated drivers license, in Alberta you don’t HAVE to take the GDL off after the 2 years of being a driver. You can drive around conceivably for the rest of your life with a GDL and it’s limitations (which aren’t that limiting, the big one is not even a single drink with supper and then drive, any alcohol and you lose your license back to step 1, the others they always mention are laws for everybody so I don’t know why they mention them specifically). I know a few people who’ve driven longer than I have who just can’t be bothered to take the next test.
Having a car limits your life, too. You have to find a place to park it, for one thing. When I looked for apartments, one of the non-negotiable features was an assigned parking space, because I had a car and did not want to have to look for somewhere to park every night. When Mr. Neville was looking for an apartment before we got married, he didn’t have that requirement. Instead, he had a requirement that it be convenient to transit. In Berkeley (where he lived), or San Francisco, I suspect my requirement would rule out more prospective apartments than his would. In some other places, it would probably be the other way around.
When we were looking for a house, we wanted one with a garage. Not all houses in the area where we were looking have garages.
This isn’t always a disadvantage. If you don’t want to stay an hour late at work, and you don’t have a car (or didn’t drive your car to work), you have an excuse not to stay. Not everybody wants to be able to stay an hour late at work.
If you do drive to work, you might want to avoid driving in or driving home at certain times of day, because of bad traffic. I know a lot of people for whom this is a factor in deciding what hours they will work. Or, if you work in an area with a lot of traffic and not much parking (this describes a lot of downtown areas and areas near college campuses), you might not want to get to work after a certain time, because you know it will be hard to find parking if you do. That’s really not that different from deciding your schedule based on bus schedules. Which is more limiting is going to depend on where you work. Not everybody lives or works in a place with abundant parking and not much mass transit. Downtown Pittsburgh and the area near the Pitt campus do not fit that description, for example. I’ve worked in both, and when I did, I rarely or never drove to work, even though I do have a car.
There are places I won’t drive to at certain times, because I know it’s going to be hard to find anywhere to park there at that time. If I were walking or taking the bus there, I wouldn’t have that limitation.
Not really. I’m lucky to live in a fairly small town where it’s possible to do most small errands either on foot or by bike. (I do both.) I find this easier than driving most days, mostly because I don’t have to fight traffic, find a place to park, or pay almost four dollars a gallon for gas. Tire rubber and shoe leather are far cheaper than gas, and I’m thinner and healthier than ever for the exercise.
Most of the teens I know (and I know many) aren’t being chauffeured; they just find alternative modes of transportation. They go to and from school on a bus, and thanks to the aforementioned small-town geography, they can (and do) get around by bike, skateboard, on foot, or however they get to where they are going.
And, yes, they don’t want to be saddled with the cost of buying and maintaining a car. And they don’t want to deal with a graduated license that won’t let them drive between the hours of 11 p.m. and 5 a.m., and they don’t want to pay fines for violating that curfew because Sparky the Wonder Cop is waiting, ticket book in hand, for his watch to say 11:01 so he can ticket kids coming out of the football field parking lot. If that means postponing getting their driver’s license until they move out, and if it means getting the occasional ride from Mom or Dad, that’s their choice.
Could be, but in the cases I’m thinking of, the individuals in question were mostly just people who had grown up in very large cities with good public transportation options, who just hadn’t had any reason to learn to drive until they reached adulthood and their circumstances changed. They didn’t seem to be less confident or capable overall than my friends who did learn to drive as teens, but they certainly struggled with driving more.
(In my case, my non-driving was precipitated by a stupid teenage quarrel with my father, which I could only win by refusing to drive. Not a confidence issue at all, just a Teen Stupidity issue.)
Right. We all make choices and trade-offs in our lives.The idea that having a car always leads to more choice is overlooking the many hidden costs. When stop picturing the car as the “default”, you realize that car owners are also making big trade offs.
$2,500 is almost exactly my travel budget. This gets me about two months of travel in the cheap country of my choice. I’d rather have fond memories of the Philippines and Zimbabwe than fond memories of being able to leave a few minutes later for work. It’s all about personal priorities- you may value a comfortable and fast commute more, but your choice isn’t the “default.”
Having a car makes some lifestyles easier. It doesn’t do that for mine. My job only exists in big US cities and/or countries where middle-class people generally use professional drivers. My car status has next to no impact on my job and living prospects. Indeed, I’m searching for a place with my boyfriend, and his need have safe parking and avoid the heavy traffic out of the city is a much bigger limiting factor than my need to be somewhere within a mile of a bus line or metro. Not everyone’s life is like that, but mine is. Cars facilitate some kinds of lifestyles, and they don’t others.
Yesterday I was at dinner with a friend, and she decided to walk home. It was a gorgeous night, so I walked the whole way home- about 5.5 miles. It was a good chunk of physical activity (I’m convinced I’ll balloon up the moment I get a car), I got to know my city a bit better, and I met a few cool people. Would I have been able to do that with a car? No. It’s not practical to just leave your car somewhere because you decided to walk a few miles home on a whim. I could have never gotten to it before they started ticketing in the AM. Just like there are things you don’t do without a car, there are things you don’t do with a car- and you probably aren’t even aware of half of them. Cars allow for one type of spontaneity, not having a car allows for another.
Of course one day I might take some strong hallucinogens and decide that I actually want a suburban lifestyle with a completely different career. In which case, I will suck it up and learn to drive. But so far I’m really happy with my choices and I think they are sensible ones. Every time someone says “Oh, I wish I could travel” or “I wish I were slim” or “I wish I knew where all these cool restaurants deep in the neighborhoods are” or “I have to cough up $3000 because my car broke down, and now I’m broke” I am reminded that my choice has advantages that are appropriate for me,
Yes, some people beg for rides. There are also some people who drive drunk and endanger others. Freeloaders are no more the epitome of the carlessness than drunk drivers are the epitome of drivers. Every group has its problematic people
Next time you’re near a dictionary, please look up the word “default.”
Snark aside, you’ve built your life around being able to take off for two months at a time to some far-flung destination. Great, that works for you. We’re all very happy for you. But please understand that that is not how most jobs operate. If I ask to take off two months, barring the birth or another human being, I’d be laughed at. That’s how it is for most people. Again, that’s the “default.”
And if we wanted to get really nuts, we could discuss how having a car to have a regular job enables me to save for retirement in ways your lifestyle does not allow, but that would probably be getting off the track.
You seem to be under the impression that if you own a car you never walk long distances to get to know your city. I assure you, as a city-dweller with a car, this is not the case. I live walking around neighborhoods on my way to/back from shows, dinners, etc. Since there’s also plenty of public transportation, I will usually walk wherever I’m going knowing I can take the bus or shuttle home if I want to. But I can also go buy a shitload of groceries or drinks for a party without having to worry about how I’ll lug them all home, or take an impromptu road trip, or basically go anywhere I want if I’m feeling too lazy to walk. I can’t see how not driving is anything but more limiting than driving, overall. I can do all the things non-drivers do, but they can’t do all the things I can.
Some do. I personally do not. I’ve got you beat by a half on the travel budget.
The unfortunate reality is that this society as a whole is not built for people without cars. Cities have public transportation, but many towns do not. Suburbs…forget about it. And even in cities with public transportation, it is often not dependable. Miami’s bus system has to be the worst on the planet. Devoting two hours to go fifteen miles sounds crazy, but that is often the reality when you have to take multiple buses and trains. I can afford to devote two hours to my walking commute, but I understand perfectly why other people would rather spend their time doing other things.
Yes, there are trade-offs…as with everything. I don’t think anyone would deny that having a car comes with responsibilities. As I said before, when my car finally dies, I may not buy a replacement right away because it is not an absolute necessity and I don’t feel like dealing with the added expense to my pocketbook. But in the meantime, I feel very lucky that I have one. I would not be able to take the evening urban forestry class that I’m taking without it. It enables me to take off just an hour for a doctor’s appointment instead of several hours. If my sister calls with an emergency, I can hop on I-95 at any time and be there in a couple of hours. I do not have to arrange my road-trip needs around the inconvenient office hours of Enterprise Rent-a-Car. I’ve done it before and it’s just not my idea of fun.
There are only advantages to knowing how to drive. People shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed for not knowing how to. Obviously if one hasn’t felt the need to learn, then they shouldn’t be compelled to. But espousing this idea that simply having a car is a disadvantage in life is just crazy. Having a possession is only bad if you can’t afford it and you’re hurting other people with it. Finding a parking place sucks no more than walking in the pouring rain or missing the bus when you’re already running late or being stuck in a subway for an hour. Paying a monthly car note is a pain, but so is having your bike stolen for the third time and having to pay $50 cab fare just to get to the airport. In other words, whether the trade-off is “big” depends on a whole lot. For many (if not most) people, the trade-off of having a car is outweighed by not having one. Just like in your case, you can say the complete opposite.
A person who can drive has a leg up on a person who doesn’t. It’s an important skill to have under your belt in the 21st century. I don’t know why this is even up for debate.
