# Tele-Marketing
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tele-marketing/26057
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 19, 2000, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tele-marketing/26057 "2000-07-19T02:57:59Z")
**Posts on this page:** 9
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@cardaver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cardaver)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tele-marketing/26057/1 "2000-07-19T02:57:59Z")
I will never do business with a firm that uses this inconsiderate device. If I currently am a customer,I won’t be after your next call.
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### Author:  [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tele-marketing/26057/2 "2000-07-19T13:21:03Z")
The thing is, they don’t care. All they will do is move on to the next person of the 6 billion on the planet. You must tell them to add you to their do not call list, and to mail you confirmation that they did so.
If everyone did this to every telemarketer, it would probably force them out of business due to lack of customers, and postage.
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### Author:  [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tele-marketing/26057/3 "2000-07-19T13:47:19Z")
I like putting the down and walking away from it while they are still talking. I’ve come back a couple minutes later and heard them STILL talking. quite funny. I also let my cat talk to them. I don’t get to many calls. one day I’d like to have the siding people come over and give me an estimate on my Condo! {:
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### Author:  [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tele-marketing/26057/4 "2000-07-19T13:50:53Z")
I try to talk them into giving themselves over to Jehova.
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### Author:  [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tele-marketing/26057/5 "2000-07-19T13:53:57Z")
I stand by this same principle, and I tell them why. I think the only REAL power I have is to make sure that calling my house is NEVER a successful way for these outfits to get money. Not that it makes any difference, but I get a little self-righteous pleasure explaining that.
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### Author:  [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tele-marketing/26057/6 "2000-07-19T13:58:54Z")
cardaver… check this place out
Very funny.
[http://4revenge.com/](http://4revenge.com/)
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### Author:  [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tele-marketing/26057/7 "2000-07-19T14:13:34Z")
I have four things I do when a telemarketer calls.
1. Act like you know them, call them by name (they always tell you in the first 5 seconds) ask them how they are doing, how happy you are to speak to them- it’s been so long, etc.
2. Tell them you are not interested, and when they try to convince you that they are (and they **always** do) put the phone even with the top of the toilet and flush. Laughing hysterically is optional, but unavoidable.
3. If you have caller ID, when the phone rings on your end, just pick up the phone and say “Hi, is Bob there?” in the most bombastic voice you have. It confuses the hell out of people. I have actually had people call me, and say that **I** had the wrong number. It’s a hoot.
4. Claim that you have no phone. This works best with people who are selling you long distance. Be aware that you may be asked what you are talking on. Here are two responses I enjoy.
Now remember, the key to telemarketing calls is to have fun with the telemarketer, because they will stay on that line as long as you want. Have fun kids!
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### Author:  [@lunapark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lunapark)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tele-marketing/26057/8 "2000-07-19T14:28:34Z")
Bravo Wonko!!
Those were great. I have one to add:
When your local newspaper calls to sell you a subscription, say that you are sorry, but this is a house for the deaf. They almost always apologize and hang up. It’s too funny. I think i’ve had 1 out of 10 realize that deaf people can see.
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### Author:  [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tele-marketing/26057/9 "2000-07-19T14:47:20Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by JimmyNipples \*
> \*\*cardaver… check this place out
>
> Very funny.
>
> [http://4revenge.com/](http://4revenge.com/)
> \*\*
Excellent web site, Jimmy. I was intrigued when I saw the stats for telemarketers, including the following:
“On average, only 24% of what you donate as a
result of a telemarketing call will actually get to the
charity on whose behalf the solicitation is made.
The telemarketing company hired to make the call
gets the rest.”
Now that really gets my panties in a wad… Oops! What a give-away! 🙂