# telegrams today **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [February 21, 2008, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501 "2008-02-21T03:23:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![sagehen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f475e1/32.png) [@sagehen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sagehen)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/1 "2008-02-21T03:23:32Z")
Western Union is gone, but [sendtelegram.com](http://sendtelegram.com) will hand-deliver telegrams around the world. But it’ll cost ya: to send to the US it’s about 50¢/word (including the address) plus a $28 surcharge. ---
**Author:** ![sagehen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f475e1/32.png) [@sagehen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sagehen)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/2 "2008-02-21T03:25:51Z")
The SD report: [Is it still possible to send a telegram?](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mtelegram.html) ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2008, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/3 "2008-02-22T00:39:05Z")
How Old Cary Grant ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2008, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/4 "2008-02-22T01:17:20Z")
Old Cary Grant fine. How you? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2008, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/5 "2008-03-06T13:43:57Z")
Please STOP ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2008, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/6 "2008-03-06T15:00:38Z")
Western Union isn’t gone, as I learned at work (we still use it for transferring funds): [http://www.westernunion.com/info/selectCountry.asp](http://www.westernunion.com/info/selectCountry.asp) It’s only the telegraph service that’s gone. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2008, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/7 "2008-03-06T15:12:33Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] Please STOP [/QUOTE] Back about 50 years ago, when I sent a few telegrams in Australia via the post office, I studied up on the rules of what you could put into telegrams. Yes, they were all uppercase letters, but you could also include punctuation, so “STOP” instead of a full stop was unnecessary (and cost an extra word). So your message could have been “PLEASE.” or even “PLEASE!”, and just counted as one word. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2008, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/8 "2008-03-07T17:50:05Z")
But that wasn’t true back when telegram jokes were cutting-edge humor. [A punctuation mark cost as much to send as a word](http://www.telegraph-office.com/pages/telegram.html), and was more likely to get lost in translation. Although the “classic” telegram was always all caps, this very old [example](http://www.skygod.com/quotes/firstflight.html) contains lowercase letters. I don’t know when they lost that feature. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2008, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/9 "2008-03-07T17:54:33Z")
The last time I sent a telegram was in the mid-1990s. Somewhere from 1994-96. Thailand to the US. ---
**Author:** ![John\_W.Kennedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_w.kennedy/32/1031_2.png) [@John\_W.Kennedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_W.Kennedy)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2008, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/10 "2008-03-08T01:41:53Z")
[QUOTE=TWDuke] Although the “classic” telegram was always all caps, this very old [example](http://www.skygod.com/quotes/firstflight.html) contains lowercase letters. I don’t know when they lost that feature. [/QUOTE] Old telegrams were transcribed by a human being listening to the clickety-click (or, in the very oldest, by a human being reading a tape with dots and dashes written on it). The human being could put in the upper and lower case by applying his own knowledge of the language. Later, an automatic printer was used to print the message on tape, which would then be cut up and pasted to the form. Both the five-bit (shifted) code and the printing mechanism made lowercase impractical. In the 1960s, lowercase became available again, but the giant public systems did not update, because of the expense involved in upgrading the whole bloody system; lowercase was mainly seen on private systems running, for example, IBM equipment based on the Selectric typewriter. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/11 "2008-03-12T03:58:35Z")
One of my favorite telegraph stories; see the third paragraph: [James M. Cox - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_M._Cox) There’s an old Broadway story that an anxious and broke playwright sent a very, very short telegram to his producer: ? The producer replied, ! ---
**Author:** ![Omi\_no\_Kami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Omi\_no\_Kami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omi_no_Kami)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/12 "2008-03-12T13:26:52Z")
My favorite joke telegram always went: METALLICA STOP ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/13 "2008-03-12T13:30:55Z")
[QUOTE=Omi no Kami] My favorite joke telegram always went: METALLICA STOP [/QUOTE] I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/14 "2008-03-13T02:54:47Z")
It said from Billy at the bottom. To Baby at the top… –Western Union Telegram– Please don’t STOP _~Kinky Friedman_ ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2008, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/15 "2008-03-15T15:47:26Z")
What a coincidence! There’s an item in the local newspaper today (Saturday) that Thailand will end its telegram service come May. Not enough revenue and no funds available for needed equipment upgrades. The wife and I plan to send out a few telegrams at the very end just for the heck of it. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2008, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/16 "2008-03-16T18:30:02Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] One of my favorite telegraph stories; see the third paragraph: [James M. Cox - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_M._Cox) There’s an old Broadway story that an anxious and broke playwright sent a very, very short telegram to his producer: ? The producer replied, ! [/QUOTE] My only cite for this is an old Guinness Book of World Records, but that telegraph exchange is credited to Victor Hugo contacting his publisher. ---
**Author:** ![Alex\_Dubinsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dbc845/32.png) [@Alex\_Dubinsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alex_Dubinsky)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/17 "2008-03-17T04:02:27Z")
Telegrams aren’t dead! They’re just called SMS now. ---
**Author:** ![Alex\_Dubinsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dbc845/32.png) [@Alex\_Dubinsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alex_Dubinsky)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/18 "2008-03-17T04:19:53Z")
That “How to write telegraphs” guide from 1928 linked to by someone above is a real gem. > [@](#): > > If you are alive to the need of making every minute count in this modern, high speed age, you will often have occasion to avail yourself of the facilities of the highly organized institutions which have succeeded the old time operator bent over his telegraph key in the little dingy telegraph office of a few generations ago. > [@](#): > > If you do not intend to stipulate that marks of punctuation be transmitted, write your message without punctuation and read it carefully to make sure that it is not ambiguous. If it seems impossible to convey your meaning clearly without the use of punctuation, use may be made of the celebrated word “stop,” which is known the world over as the official telegraphic or cable word for “period.” > > This word “stop” may have perplexed you the first time you encountered it in a message. Use of this word in telegraphic communications was greatly increased during the World War, when the Government employed it widely as a precaution against having messages garbled or misunderstood, as a result of the misplacement or emission of the tiny dot or period. > > Officials felt that the vital orders of the Government must be definite and clear cut, and they therefore used not only the word “stop,” to indicate a period, but also adopted the practice of spelling out “comma,” “colon,” and “semi-colon.” The word “query” often was used to indicate a question mark. Of all these, however, “stop” has come into most widespread use, and vaudeville artists and columnists have employed it with humorous effect, certain that the public would understand the allusion in connection with telegrams. It is interesting to note, too, that although the word is obviously English it has come into general use In all languages that are used in telegraphing or cabling. > [@](#): > > Telegraphic Shopping Service – In addition to the regular money order service, the telegraph companies maintain what is known as a telegraphic shopping service. As now organized, this service permits of the purchase by telegraph of any standardized article from a locomotive to a paper or pins. The person wishing to make the purchase has merely to call at the telegraph office, specify the article he wishes to have bought, and pay the cost, plus a small charge for the service. Directions will then be telegraphed to the point at which the purchase is to be made, and an employee will buy the article desired. It delivery is to be made in the city where the article is purchased, it will be forwarded by messenger. If delivery is to be made at a distant point, it will be sent by parcel post or express. > > The service is utilized by the public in a variety of ways. For example on Mother’s Day a person in San Francisco purchased an automobile drive for his mother who was in New York. The telegraph company in New York merely called up a taxi company and directed them to send a car to a certain address at a definite time and take the party specified for a three hour drive. > > Through the cooperation of florists throughout the country, flowers may be ordered by telegraph and delivered in virtually any city or town in the United States. Flowers also maybe ordered by cable for delivery in the larger cities of Europe. Candies, books and cigars, etc., may be ordered in a similar manner, though the florists are somewhat more highly organized. > > Railway tickets also may be ordered by telegraph. In this case the telegraph company official acts as agent, making the purchase of the ticket and delivering it to the person specified, who usually is a minor or an aged person. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2008, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/19 "2008-03-21T03:12:29Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] One of my favorite telegraph stories; see the third paragraph: [James M. Cox - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_M._Cox) There’s an old Broadway story that an anxious and broke playwright sent a very, very short telegram to his producer: ? The producer replied, ! [/QUOTE] FWIW, Ripley’s _Believe It Or Not_ claimed this was an exchange between Victor Hugo and his publishers, concerning the sales of _Les Miserables_. ---
**Author:** ![Threadkiller](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aca169/32.png) [@Threadkiller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Threadkiller)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2008, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501/20 "2008-03-23T12:14:11Z")
I get all the way through this thread and the linked article before I realized that I had the Buggles’ _[Video Killed the Radio Star](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_Killed_the_Radio_Star)_ playing in my head the whole time. I keep getting older. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/telegrams-today/438501.md?page=2)