# Television crossovers that can only end in fisticuffs. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 3, 2013, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590 "2013-07-03T22:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/41 "2013-07-04T01:58:10Z")
Jed Clampett and J.R. Ewing. J.R. tries to swindle the Clampetts. Jed sticks him head-first into a barrel of tar. And it just might be the hot tar this time. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/42 "2013-07-04T03:07:39Z")
I suppose it’s ridiculously obvious to say “Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin.” ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/43 "2013-07-04T03:33:56Z")
Darren Nichols from _Slings and Arrows_ and Louis Green from _Bored to Death_. ---
**Author:** ![Orr\_G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ee59a6/32.png) [@Orr\_G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orr_G)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/44 "2013-07-04T03:54:41Z")
> [@Sherrerd](#): > > I suppose it’s ridiculously obvious to say “Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin.” That reminds me of the verbal showdown between Cartman and (a satirical fascimile of) Bart in the episode where they are both trying to get Family Guy cancelled. I’m having trouble thinking of any good match-ups. I think Archer (eponymous) would wind up on the wrong side of just about any serious spy show character he met with. Even Emma Peel, after learning that Archer is too dim-witted to be verbally eviscerated, would be forced to lay him out. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/45 "2013-07-04T04:16:54Z")
Penny from BBT and Ginger from Gilligan’s Isle. King Geoffrey from GoT and Cowboy Bill Watts from Mid South Wrestling. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/46 "2013-07-04T04:18:13Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Penny from BBT and Ginger from Gilligan’s Isle. Okay, I don’t get that one. Explain? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/47 "2013-07-04T04:20:28Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Okay, I don’t get that one. Explain? It’s Penny. And Ginger. Wrestling in coconut oil. Who needs a reason? But if you must have one, Ginger flirts with Leonard after he and the professor create coconut fusion power. Penny attacks. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/48 "2013-07-04T04:24:20Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > It’s Penny. And Ginger. Wrestling in coconut oil. Who needs a reason? But if you must have one, Ginger flirts with Leonard after he and the professor create coconut fusion power, and Penny attacks. That’s just what you WANT to happen, not what is mandated by the characters’ characters. Anyway, if you want wrestling hotties, shouldn’t it be Bernadette and Mary Ann? ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/49 "2013-07-04T04:38:13Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > While I mock your contention that Zoe is invincible, I am reminded that River would be on the Serenity crew’s side, and that tilt the numbers in Serenity’s favor. They’d still lose, but the Voyager crew would know they’d been in a fight. > > Please. Janeway could piss off anybody. The whole series went by without anyone just punching Janeway out. They really missed the boat on that - could’ve had a huge jump in the ratings if they had worked that into every episode. Fan 1: “Here it comes, here it comes, he’s gonna deck her!” Fan 2: “No way, man, watch: they’re faking you out.” Fan 1: “Awww, he’s walking away!” Fan 2: “Tole ya. They never punch 'er out until after the 2nd commercial break at least.” [How about MST3K (Mike Nelson era) on Voyager?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=sZLcIpbOHIU#t=49s) Pretty sure the whole SOL crew gets spaced, but Pearl & Observer rescue them so that they can resume their movie torture. ---
**Author:** ![Levolor\_the\_Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc8723/32.png) [@Levolor\_the\_Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Levolor_the_Blind)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/50 "2013-07-04T04:42:26Z")
Sherlock Holmes (Jeremy Brett) and Sherlock Holmes (Benedict Cumberbatch); both are used to being the smartest guy in the room\* and the Cumberbatch version is Asbergerish enough to bring it to blows. \*Mycroft excepted. I’m pretty sure all the versions of Watson would get along famously. Hyacinth Bucket and Roseanne. Actually, Hyacinth and just about any character possessed of a normal amount of human patience. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/51 "2013-07-04T05:07:52Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > Jack Bauer and Batman (the Adam West version)\ How about Jack Bauer and John Reese from “Person of Interest?” Neither of them is really a fight just for the sake of fighting kind of guy, but say Jack Bauer is involved in some plot that Reese needs to stop, etc. - violent fighting will ensue! ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/52 "2013-07-04T05:14:23Z")
> [@Sherrerd](#): > > Next I was thinking, _‘hey, how about noted masculinist Don Draper, versus noted feminist…er…huh…well…’_ > And I realized that every “feminist” character in television is basically a joke, or the Plot Obstacle, or isn’t really interested in seeing any changes to the status quo.: Probably the greatest “feminist” characters (well, female character, anyways) on TV would be the ones who’re great _characters_, first and foremost, with the feminism following as a consequence. That being said, Draper vs…Xena, maybe? Seven of Nine? Hell, [Korra](http://animationaficionados.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/watching_you.jpg)? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/53 "2013-07-04T05:21:03Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Captain Kirk of the original series and Captain Jack Harkness of Torchwood. Two supreme hypersexual alpha-males - it can only end in fighting or fucking, and Captain Kirk doesn’t swing that way (as far as I know). I think that like most of the male population, he would for Captain Jack. I always to see Nurse Ratchet (or Big Nurse) get her new patient, Hannibal Lecter. My money is on Ratchet. Hannibal would never think she was even more evil then he was. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/54 "2013-07-04T12:16:55Z")
> [@Sherrerd](#): > > Yes, I guess so. More or less. You had to go back fifteen years, though (!) that’s depressing, if I let myself think about it too much. ---
**Author:** ![Hermione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cdc98d/32.png) [@Hermione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermione)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/55 "2013-07-04T13:26:39Z")
Maybe not fisticuffs, but can you imagine a House/Monk crossover? Mainly, who would drive who up the wall first? I could imagine House being led away whimpering by Wilson, while the rest of the staff falls on their knees genuflecting to Monk: “You are the Chosen One!” ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/56 "2013-07-04T13:27:26Z")
Triple threat Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory) Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds) Temperance Brennan (Bones) Three annoying know-it-alls with limited grasp of human emotions. ---
**Author:** ![Orr\_G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ee59a6/32.png) [@Orr\_G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orr_G)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/57 "2013-07-04T13:50:06Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > I always to see Nurse Ratchet (or Big Nurse) get her new patient, Hannibal Lecter. > > My money is on Ratchet. Hannibal would never think she was even more evil then he was. No way. As much as we hate her, Ratchet is a petty tyrant who only plays with a stacked deck. Hell, a beaten-down Murphy almost had her dead after just a few minutes alone with her, until someone showed up to save her ass. If that had been Lecter, those boys would have burst in the room to find our gentlemen doctor daintily dabbing his mouth with a silk hanky while sitting in front of a full service and a foil swan containing the leftovers. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/58 "2013-07-04T13:59:37Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > Triple threat > > Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory) > Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds) > Temperance Brennan (Bones) > > Three annoying know-it-alls with limited grasp of human emotions. With Brennan the easy winner in this battle, whether or not she or Reid is armed. I was going to say that Sheldon was irrelevant, but in fact the only way the fight starts is if he pisses off Bones enough for her to decide to kick his ass and Reid then feels obligated to defend him. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/59 "2013-07-04T15:07:47Z")
The Doctor (from Doctor Who, of course) isn’t going to tolerate Q from ST-TNG. That said, it would end in a sword fight, I think, not a fist fight. Actually, I don’t think Worf or Captain Picard would like the Doctor, either, not with their conflicting views on the Prime Directive–or possibly Time Locks. This is a great thread! ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590/60 "2013-07-04T18:30:15Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I was thinking about this one the other day, as I watched the two shows on, um, Me TV I think. Jeannie’s a lot more powerful than Samantha (and less dependent on spoken spells), but Sam’s a lot smarter. Sam gets her ass kicked in the first fight, but assuming she survives she owns Jeannie in the remmatch. > > There is, incidentally, no version of this tale in which Dr. Bellow survives. While Larry Tate survives to drink again… Agnes Kravitz, on the other hand, not so much (this reminds me of a bit of trivia - George Tobias and Alice Pearce play a couple virtually identical to the Kravitzs in the movie “The Glass-Bottomed Boat”) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-crossovers-that-can-only-end-in-fisticuffs/662590.md?page=4)