# Television has been lying to me **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 28, 2016, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784 "2016-12-28T17:44:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![stosh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@stosh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stosh)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/21 "2016-12-29T01:52:57Z")
Something you see on TV is not true. Wow, what a concept ! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/22 "2016-12-29T03:30:37Z")
Yeah, it’s almost like the writers are just making things up! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/23 "2016-12-29T03:41:09Z")
Hey, **terentii** , let me hit you in the head with a frying pan and see if you lose your memory. Then get it back with a second crack on the noggin. 😃 Kookaburra birds are not found in Africa. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/24 "2016-12-29T04:20:50Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > Television has lied to me about a shitload more than dubious medical procedures. I thought when I became a teenager and had my heart broken by a boy, my parents would be all comforting, understanding, and sympathetic. Would dry my tears and give me a little philosophical pep talk or two. Imagine my surprise when dear Ma-Mah spittled with rage into my face, ‘oh, shut the fuck up, crying over that asshole, just be glad you didn’t get knocked up. You dumb slut.’ That escalated quickly. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/25 "2016-12-29T04:46:12Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Hey, **terentii** , let me hit you in the head with a frying pan and see if you lose your memory. Then get it back with a second crack on the noggin. 😃 Better you should use a guitar, 'cause they go **KA-BONG!** 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/26 "2016-12-29T11:27:40Z")
> [@marshmallow](#): > > You also probably can’t bring someone back by pounding on their chest, looking skyward, and yelling “Don’t you quit on me, dammit!” Doesn’t bring me back. I usually switch channels at that point. But pounding the chest helps sometimes, if you haven’t got the paddles. Except when it’s fatal: can start a failing heart, or stop a working one. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/27 "2016-12-29T14:40:08Z")
This one drives me batshit crazy: Two cops walking up to the suspect’s door together and knocking? RRRRIIIIIGGGGHHHHHT! The subject opens the door, opens fire, and kills them both. The cops walk up in a V-formation from opposite side of the lawn. When the subject opens the door with a gun, he’s toast. And don’t get me started on cops saying “Drop the gun” two or three or forty times before shooting. It’s “Drop the gun\* or I will shoot.” And the subject has about half a second to respond \*the one time I saw this, it was actually “Drop the chainsaw or I will shoot.” ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/28 "2016-12-29T14:54:12Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > And don’t get me started on bald eagles. Mrs SteveMB was watching a YouTube video showing some Alaskan eagles eating cast-off fish guts. One of them screeched, and the little psycho black cat jumped up wide-eyed. Considering that we found her as a half-grown stray kitten in an area with a fair number of raptors, it might have been a flashback to a close escape. She later did the same thing while I was watching _Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths_ – apparently the Black Canary sound effect they used was close enough. ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/29 "2016-12-29T15:03:36Z")
Also, according to the Oracle (aka television), all shots must be administered into the patient’s neck. Except for adrenaline, where the very long needle must be jammed between the ribs directly into the heart. Especially if you’re alone and your heart is failing and you need to do it yourself. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/30 "2016-12-29T16:46:33Z")
> [@Headrush042](#): > > Well, “wargl” doesn’t sound very patriotic, now does it? [Homer Simpson voice] “Heh, heh: ‘wargl.’” [/Homer Simpson voice] ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/31 "2016-12-29T20:48:55Z")
Dear Straight Dope: This morning I had to move a hostage from one location to another and I didn’t want her aware of where we were traveling, so I pistol-whipped her on the head like television taught me to do. Had to hit her a few extra times and with more force than expected, but eventually it worked. Now that I’m at the safe house, I want to awaken her to question her, but no matter how hard nor how many times I hit her on the head, like television taught me to do, she’s not responsive. I’ve even tried applying smelling salts (24) or splashing a hose in her face (Pulp Fiction) but no luck. I’m worried because she’s starting to twitch and drool a bit. Is there another TV show I should watch that will show me another way to safely wake her up? Need answer fast, thanks in advance. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/32 "2016-12-29T21:54:39Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Dear Straight Dope: > > This morning I had to move a hostage from one location to another and I didn’t want her aware of where we were traveling, so I pistol-whipped her on the head like television taught me to do. Had to hit her a few extra times and with more force than expected, but eventually it worked. Now that I’m at the safe house, I want to awaken her to question her, but no matter how hard nor how many times I hit her on the head, like television taught me to do, she’s not responsive. I’ve even tried applying smelling salts (24) or splashing a hose in her face (Pulp Fiction) but no luck. I’m worried because she’s starting to twitch and drool a bit. Is there another TV show I should watch that will show me another way to safely wake her up? Need answer fast, thanks in advance. Hey, if you had just blindfolded her and locked her in the trunk, she could have counted the minutes, memorized each turn, and listened to the sounds outside in order to identify your safe house after you let her go. So I’d say you’re getting off lucky! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/33 "2016-12-29T22:02:20Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > This one drives me batshit crazy: Two cops walking up to the suspect’s door together and knocking? RRRRIIIIIGGGGHHHHHT! The subject opens the door, opens fire, and kills them both. > > The cops walk up in a V-formation from opposite side of the lawn. When the subject opens the door with a gun, he’s toast. > > And don’t get me started on cops saying “Drop the gun” two or three or forty times before shooting. It’s “Drop the gun\* or I will shoot.” And the subject has about half a second to respond > > \*the one time I saw this, it was actually “Drop the chainsaw or I will shoot.” (trying to visualize two cops walking in a V formation) mmm ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/34 "2016-12-29T23:36:52Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > After watching a few episodes of _ **24** _, I was convinced you could stay awake and alert for\*\* three consecutive days\*\*, not eat, not go to the can, get shot with a pistol and an assault rifle, be stabbed multiple times in the gut, and still enjoy a cup of coffee once you’ve killed all the terrorists. 🆒 bolding mine No “few episodes of 24” will ever have three consecutive days. An entire season only shows one complete 24 hr day (hence the title). There might be valid nitpicks in your post but that ain’t one. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/35 "2016-12-30T00:33:37Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > bolding mine > > No “few episodes of 24” will ever have three consecutive days. An entire season only shows one complete 24 hr day (hence the title). There might be valid nitpicks in your post but that ain’t one. I beg to differ. Each episode starts in the middle of Bauer’s day. Ergo, he’s already been up for some time. The action takes place over the night and into the next day. Bauer gets no sleep. Once the terrorists are dead, does Bauer get to go home and crash? No, he has to stick around dealing with the aftermath, filling out after-action reports, being interrogated by The Man, and all that other mandated official crap. You can bet it’ll last into that night and into the next day. Then, **maybe** , they’ll let him go and he can finally get some sleep. Do the math. It’s a total of three days. You really think what you see on the screen is \*\*all \*\*that happens? Psheesh! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784/36 "2016-12-30T00:57:01Z")
I remember an interview on PBS or some comparable channel with a physician who had written a book, and he told about when he was a consultant on a movie or TV show. He was asked how a person would act with a lacerated liver, and he replied that they would lie as still and quiet as possible, because any motion would be extremely painful. So, what did the actor do? Thrashed around and screamed, of course! :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-has-been-lying-to-me/775784.md?page=1)