# Television programming you think nobody watches **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 10, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485 "2008-06-10T20:11:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/41 "2008-06-11T15:26:53Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] I think a good idea would be the fire channel. They would simply broadcast nice fires for those times you don’t want to build one yourself. The fire style would change every couple of hours going from say, a nice fireplace fire to a bonfire. Special content would include things like a blazing house fire with no commentary and a stationary camera. I know it would do quite well for us pyromaniacs. [/QUOTE] One of the cable stations at my moms house does that during the holidays. It is a loop of a lit fireplace. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/42 "2008-06-11T15:30:25Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] I think a good idea would be the fire channel. They would simply broadcast nice fires for those times you don’t want to build one yourself. The fire style would change every couple of hours going from say, a nice fireplace fire to a bonfire. Special content would include things like a blazing house fire with no commentary and a stationary camera. I know it would do quite well for us pyromaniacs. [/QUOTE] One of the local stations plays the Yule Log show on Christmas morning. It’s a log in a fireplace, on fire. My former roommate and I liked this so much, we taped it so we could watch it whenever we wanted, not just on Christmas. I like your idea of having different kinds of fires. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/43 "2008-06-11T15:32:20Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] I think a good idea would be the fire channel. [/QUOTE] That’s a holiday tradition around here. It used to be on channel 20, but after some mergers and/or sales, the holiday fireplace moved up the dial to channel 36. (A little googling later - it looks like there were three fireplaces to pick from last year in the Bay Area as superstation WGN was also running one.) Used to be fair fodder for drinking games - if a log falls, take a shot. If the poker comes in, everybody screams POKER!! and takes a shot… ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/44 "2008-06-11T15:44:08Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] Hm. I always thought it was from inside a big hangar. There sure seems to be a lot of empty space around them. [/QUOTE] Now and then they’ll show tape from many years ago (apparently the Big Joe Polka Show has been around a long time), and you will see that the floor was _covered_ in dancers back then. Judging by the hairstyles of the women and the polyester leisure suits of the men, these were filmed in the 1970’s. The unpopulated, empty expanse of dance floor we see today seems very sad by comparison. Makes me want to take up polka! ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/45 "2008-06-11T15:54:56Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] I think a good idea would be the fire channel. They would simply broadcast nice fires for those times you don’t want to build one yourself. The fire style would change every couple of hours going from say, a nice fireplace fire to a bonfire. Special content would include things like a blazing house fire with no commentary and a stationary camera. I know it would do quite well for us pyromaniacs. [/QUOTE] Yesyesyesyes. ::rubs hands together maniacally:: What? 😕😛 ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/46 "2008-06-11T16:17:08Z")
I realize now that probably very few people watched it, but my daughter and I had many happy moments bonding over AZN TV. Our favorites were two Japanese-language shows (not subtitled), one a drama involving a teacher who was part of a deer clan or something and to whom deer would speak, and the other a sit-com/soap-style show having to do with bras and purses. And a department store. We started watching as a way for my daughter, who’s taken some Japanese and is somewhat literate in the written language, to get more accustomed to hearing it spoken, but the fun came in when I joined her. We’d see something that it didn’t seem possible anyone would write into a script, she’d be listening intently, and I’d ask her, “What’d he say? What’d she say? Are they really talking about bras and purses? Did that deer just talk? What’d he say?” to her at the beginning of every commercial break. Good times indeed. Now AZN TV has gone off the air for some unfathomable reason. We miss it dreadfully. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/47 "2008-06-11T16:19:16Z")
[QUOTE=gotpasswords] That’s a holiday tradition around here. It used to be on channel 20, but after some mergers and/or sales, the holiday fireplace moved up the dial to channel 36. (A little googling later - it looks like there were three fireplaces to pick from last year in the Bay Area as superstation WGN was also running one.) Used to be fair fodder for drinking games - if a log falls, take a shot. If the poker comes in, everybody screams POKER!! and takes a shot… [/QUOTE] Our family does that too. It’s fun! This Christmas we had my brother’s in-laws over and they had never seen the fireplace, and found it fascinating. My parents house actually has a real fireplace, but it’s gas. We don’t “watch” that - The television version is much cooler (literally. Ha!) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/48 "2008-06-11T16:39:50Z")
[QUOTE=Dewey Finn] OK, that’s pretty weird. It’s even weirder than the rock-paper-scissors tournament I saw once on one of the ESPN channels. [/QUOTE] I saw celebrity poker on a sports channel at the gym once, while I was working out. My reaction went something like this: What’s that? Ah, poker. Waitaminnit. Poker, as a _spectator sport?_ _Celebrity_ poker? These people are freakin’ nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/49 "2008-06-11T16:45:48Z")
[QUOTE=Student Driver] My ex-girlfriend lived in an apartment building in downtown Indianapolis that provided all of its residents with free cable. One of the channels was feed of a camera that peered through the front glass vestibule, and out onto the sometimes-busy street corner in front of the state capitol building and the local Hilton. It was supposedly to allow residents to see who was contacting them from the intercom and buzz them in/refuse entry, but we liked to just watch people going by. [/QUOTE] Ah yes. The Lobby Channel. may apartment buildings have it. 🙂 I am reminded of that like from the Back to the Future movie, where Marty is in the future, and pulls down the window blind. On the window blind is an image of a landscape: “You are watching the Scenery Channel…” ---
**Author:** ![Merkwurdigliebe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Merkwurdigliebe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merkwurdigliebe)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/50 "2008-06-11T17:33:40Z")
[QUOTE=kushiel] Dude, I think I just found CBC’s new after-HNIC programming. [/QUOTE] You know, it’s interesting, I had no idea that HNIC also meant Hockey Night in Canada until the Colbert Report talked about it. I’d have been as confused as hell otherwise. Anyway Mind Of Mencia Who the hell watches that garbage? What demographic is it aimed at? I would think that I’m clearly part of the demographic, yet I know of no-one who likes it. My friends and I are pretty picky about what we watch, but nobody likes Mind of Mencia. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/51 "2008-06-11T19:07:12Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] I saw celebrity poker on a sports channel at the gym once, while I was working out. My reaction went something like this: What’s that? Ah, poker. Waitaminnit. Poker, as a _spectator sport?_ _Celebrity_ poker? These people are freakin’ nuts. [/QUOTE] If you think about it, poker makes a lot more sense as a spectator sport than a lot of others. At least you can directly learn something from it that’ll possibly improve your play. Of course, with celebs, you might be learning WRONG things, but there you go. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/52 "2008-06-11T20:17:31Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] - EWTN, specifically, rosary recitation. Hail Marys for an hour straight. - Storefront church services on public access. One public access channel often airs services from various inner city storefront churches. The production quality is as if the service was taped on a handheld VHS camcordrer from the early 1990s, using the built-in microphone, without using a tripod or any image stabilization. [/QUOTE] My father watches both of those. EWTN’s the trange once, as he isn’t catholic. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/53 "2008-06-11T20:25:24Z")
[QUOTE=teela brown] We occasionally get “The Big Joe Polka Show”, which is a very rural and simple transmission of a polka dance in some Elks’ lodge in Ohio somewhere. “Big Joe” is a very fat, spangly-dressed blowhard kind of guy who emcees amateur polka band performances while country folks of all ages polka on the dance floor. Actually, I rather like it, as it provides a glimpse of down-home midwestern life that’s foreign to me. However, it’s no thrill-fest, and I sometimes feel like I’m the only one who ever watches it. [/QUOTE] Ahh…good ole RFTV. We get that channel through DishNetwork. I have a fascination with trains, and they used to have a show that was nothing but showing trains for half an hour. My wife thinks I’m insane, but I’d just sit there mesmerized, and I’d even tape the show occasionally for when nothing else was on. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/54 "2008-06-11T20:48:07Z")
My mother is a very devout Catholic and watches EWTN…religiously. I watch several shows on the CW. I never knew the rules of poker until I ran across a _Celebrity Poker Showdown_ marathon. Now I watch a bunch of poker tournaments on one of the ESPNs and the Travel Channel, usually late at night when I want to be lulled to sleep. It’s interesting enough to keep my attention, but soothing enough that I eventually fall asleep during a commercial break. The ones I wonder about are the infomercials. I can see the appeal of ones that sell wacky kitchen products or home gyms, but the ones about shady investment scams are duller than anything else on the dial. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/55 "2008-06-11T20:56:16Z")
As far as EWTN goes, I will ALWAYS stop and watch Mother One-Eye for a couple of minutes if she’s on when I’m channel-surfing just to see what awful sinful subject she’s wheezing about now. Frankly, EWTN seems to cater to the Bill Donohue/Catholic League/Vatican II Was A Commie Plot Engendered By A False Pope demographic more than the mainstream American Catholic demographic. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/56 "2008-06-11T21:17:09Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] The Knife Shopping Channel: it’s one of the many home shopping networks broadcast on Dish Network, only this channel seems to air nothing but sales for knives, swords, and the like. Production values are just a step above the storefront church broadcasts, with no souund-absorbing material in the studio. For some odd reason, almost all the presenters on the oddball mom&pop home shopping networks have southern US accents. [/QUOTE] I watch this. Not because it’s interesting. But just because I’m convinced they’re going to cut off their fingers or toes or arm or something, and I want to see it when it happens. It’s oddly addictive. ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/57 "2008-06-11T22:02:23Z")
Re EWTN: You’ve got to admire a religious channel that features a program called [Pope Fiction](http://www.ewtn.com/series/fiction/index.htm). Even the bio of the show’s host is entertaining: > [@](#): > > Growing up in Mission Viejo, California, he had aspirations of being a Haitian dictator, but a “C” average in high school shattered that dream. ---
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/58 "2008-06-12T14:50:52Z")
[QUOTE=DMark] I always thought it would be cool to have a channel that simply had cameras on street corners - NYC, Berlin, Paris, London, etc. You could tune in and just watch who was walking by, see how the weather was, what they were wearing, etc. Sort of people watching from afar. [/QUOTE] Kind of along those lines, some apartments in S. Korea offer a channel where you get to spy on the playground. I think it’s a good idea from a safety perspective. If some kid lands on kids head off the monkey bars, someone probably saw it. ---
**Author:** ![paffinity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@paffinity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paffinity)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/59 "2008-06-12T17:11:01Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] A few others I came across … The Knife Shopping Channel: it’s one of the many home shopping networks broadcast on Dish Network, only this channel seems to air nothing but sales for knives, swords, and the like. Production values are just a step above the storefront church broadcasts, with no souund-absorbing material in the studio. For some odd reason, almost all the presenters on the oddball mom&pop home shopping networks have southern US accents. [/QUOTE] ``` I actually spent an entire bored night watching this with my cousin when we didn't want to sleep. Most of it was tedious, but there were some interesting parts (the guys were throwing their knives at a block of wood to show how sharp they were; one knife bounced off and in the background of the next segment you could hear somebody going "Ahh! I licked my toe!" in a heavy southern accent.) ``` ---
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485/60 "2008-06-12T17:21:24Z")
I used to occasionally watch that channel (whose name I forget) that shows Congress at work. It would be hours of a few people milling around talking, and lots of empty seats. At the bottom of the screen was a running tally of For/Against/Not Yet Voted for some unknown bill. It was oddly soothing to sit and watch the counts change. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-programming-you-think-nobody-watches/452485.md?page=4)