# Television Show Complaints **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 1, 2010, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066 "2010-11-01T07:11:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/41 "2010-11-03T00:04:02Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > I’m always amazed when I watch “House” that none of his team has ever been arrested for breaking-and-entering when going to the patient-of-the-week’s house to figure out what made them sick. If you don’t wear a mask and also act as if you’re supposed to be doing what you’re doing, you can go in anywhere and do anything and no one will stop you. ETA: On the passwords issue, there have been multiple times on NCIS in which McGee or Abby have commented that it is simply impossible for break a 64-character password in a reasonable length of time; and I recall that Ducky’s attempts to guess a woman’s password based on his psychological study of her failed miserably, because the character was a computer scientist who had used a real password. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/42 "2010-11-03T01:24:22Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > I’m always amazed when I watch “House” that none of his team has ever been arrested for breaking-and-entering when going to the patient-of-the-week’s house to figure out what made them sick. Do hospitals even do this in real life? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/43 "2010-11-03T01:32:45Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > I guarantee you the perfectly normal square sheets that you likely use in your very own home are capable of that exact same thing. It’s a piece of cloth, not a rigid board. Just a little adjusting, and maybe a little tucking, is all that’s needed. I didn’t actually think they used special L-shaped sheets. I realized they’re normal sheets that are strategically arranged to cover up the woman’s torso while exposing the man’s torso. ---
**Author:** ![monkeylucifer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@monkeylucifer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monkeylucifer)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/44 "2010-11-03T01:35:10Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > ::wanders into the room while my wife is watching a rerun of Law & Order:SVU:: > > “Is that Luke Perry?” > “Yes.” > “Ah…so he did it then?” > “Not always. Law & Order has gotten pretty good about mixing this thing up so the guest star isn’t always the one that commits the crime.” > > ::wanders off and come back in in half an hour:: > > “Well?” > “Yeah. He did it.” The Bob Saget episode was the most obvious one of all time. ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/45 "2010-11-03T04:27:06Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Over the weekend, I saw the DVD of _The Girl Who Played with Fire_, the second film in the Millennium Trilogy. The title character is supposed to be a super-hacker, so in a couple of scenes we see her typing commands like (assume that John Doe is the target of her spying): > > Locate\_computer\_John\_Doe > Control\_computer\_John\_Doe > Download\_Files\_John\_Doe > > And just like that she’s reading every file on John Doe’s computer. I understand that the hacking was compressed for film reasons, but it was hilarious. > [@conway](#): > > As I recall, the premise is that she already had installed some sort of virus on John Doe’s computer or whatever to allow her to access it. Maybe I’m thinking of a different scene… No, you have it correct. “Locate\_computer\_John\_Doe” (or whatever she actually typed in) was the name of a program she personally wrote and installed on the target’s computer. If anyone thought these were supposed to be generic commands provided by the Operating System…just, wow. ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/46 "2010-11-03T10:25:31Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > It can’t be that tough. Abby from NCIS does the same thing. And Angela on Bones has them both beat. She’s a Fine Arts major who can run a facial reconstruction program and then find out who the real person is. Angela is magic. She can tell things like expression, “kind eyes”, and exact hairdos from bare skulls and it always matches the photo on file _exactly_. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/47 "2010-11-03T10:40:52Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > They do. If you actually paid attention, there are others searching the premises in the background. And you don’t see ever single second of the search – just the parts that fuel the plot. Anything found quickly is usually in plain sight anyway. In addition, they will have one person finding something in one room and another finding it in another. All the dull parts of the search are happening people in Room A when the camera is watching Room B discovering other things. Or the discoveries are clearly not happening at the same time and might be a half hour apart – but they cut to another scene during that half hour. > > So it’s merely a matter of you not paying attention to what’s going on. But it’s always the main characters that find anything important. Try again. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/48 "2010-11-03T11:29:46Z")
> [@Kal](#): > > No matter how passionate the prior evening was, a TV couple will wake up clothed to some degree. > > Can’t decide if that means they bonked in their underwear or got dressed afterwards. As someone who has recently started dating a fairly shy girl, I can tell you that she gets dressed afterward. Seems crazy, since we just had sex and I saw her in all her naked glory, but she sort of “turns off” her modesty when we have sex, but then afterward it comes back and she feels the need to at lest put on panties, if not also a bra or t-shirt. So people who get dressed after sex do exist. > [@BobArrgh](#): > > Plus, making the computer beep at each comparison would result in a long SQUEEEEE sound, similar to the sound of a flat-line on a heart monitor, instead of nicely regulated beeps. Which is ironic, because ECG monitors don’t do that…ever. If it flat-lines, it alarms. Which is not one long beep, but a series of beeps, more like a car alarm. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/49 "2010-11-03T13:36:21Z")
It always bothered me that detectives and cops on all TV shows have a perfect clearance rate; they solve every single case that crosses their desk. I realize it would make police procedurals far less compelling if they only solved a realistic percentage of cases (50-60% I’m guessing) but-- c’mon. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/50 "2010-11-03T16:25:02Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > It always bothered me that detectives and cops on all TV shows have a perfect clearance rate; they solve every single case that crosses their desk. I realize it would make police procedurals far less compelling if they only solved a realistic percentage of cases (50-60% I’m guessing) but-- c’mon. I always rationalize it as they only solve the cases we see. They have other cases, “off-camera,” that go unsolved. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/51 "2010-11-03T16:39:25Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > I always rationalize it as they only solve the cases we see. They have other cases, “off-camera,” that go unsolved. I think that’s right. It’s certainly the case with House. I expect he averages about 45 cases a year, of which we only see 22 or so because the patient’s malady is solved in one day. Moreoever, we only see the successes. Sherlock Holmes once complained to Watson that the stories the latter wrote about their adventures gave an incorrect impression of Holmes’ success rate. As I recall, Watson pointed out, correctly, that the stories of Holmes’ failures wouldn’t make good stories, not least because there wasn’t a satisfactory ending. Or there’s the Spenser explanation. “I solve all my cases. Some of them are just not solved yet.” Speaking of off-camera cases, I think we’re meant to assume that all the characters have cases we don’t hear about, or only get hints about, simply because they’re boring. This is explicit in the Spenser novels and maybe the series; we sometimes learn that the gumshoe just got a big payday for solving a big insurance scam or whatever, but though that check is implicitly financing one of his pro-bono adventures, it didn’t involve kicking a mobster’s ass, saving a girl from prostitution, or facing a crushing moral dilemma, so we don’t hear about it. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/52 "2010-11-03T16:48:07Z")
I came in here specifically to note all of the sounds things make in movies and TV, and lately it’s been bothering me more than ever. Motion detector? Fucking beeps every two seconds. Which is really great when the Marines are trying to avoid the Aliens. What, you think the enemy can’t hear the beeps? Anyway that would drive me batshit. I can’t even think of what else at the moment, perhaps I’ve blocked it out, but beeping things make me crazy. Computers always beep. “ACCESS DENIED”. Cut that shit out! When I put in passwords I usually just get a tiny message saying “your username or password was invalid. Please try again.” The “clothes after sex” thing drives me crazy. Sure, shy girls might put their clothes on, or even if they’re cold, but they do it in cases where they never need to. Bond should never be putting his clothes back on. He has no reason to hide his dick. He’s not shy. Ugly guy hot girl gets on my nerves, too. I just watched “Zack and Miri make a porno” and while Seth Rogan falls just short of ugly, the girl is very cute, and it annoys the piss out of me. Us girls want some eye candy, too. ---
**Author:** ![Philliam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/philliam/32/3011_2.png) [@Philliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philliam)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/53 "2010-11-03T17:03:43Z")
Dang, I’m as ready as most to suspend dis-belief during police procedurals but when the cops/FBI/SWAT team bust into the house all stiff-armed and packing heat, yelling “CLEAR!”, how come they never look in the closet or behind the couch? ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/54 "2010-11-03T17:14:51Z")
It seems like many of the complaints here are of the “It’s not like that in real life,” and in general, I agree. Seeing someone on Law and Order use three mouse clicks to create a complex database query spoils my suspension of disbelief and makes me question everything else about the episode. However, there are certain dramas where I’ll give this a pass, where I’ll tell myself that the show is a fantasy or takes place in some sort of alternate reality. \*The Andy Griffith Show \*is a good example, _The West Wing_ is another. The people and situations are just too good, too pat to be true, but I love the shows nonetheless. _House_ is the latest example for me. We can all pretty much agree that it’s kind of ridiculous, really. Breaking into patients’ homes, being an expert in every possible medical speciality, performing their own complex laboratory tests, and so on. But for some reason, I just don’t care. I love the show anyway. Is it because some aspect of the show – character development, plot, or whatever – is just so damned good that I give everything else a pass? I guess the ultimate example might be Shakespeare, where his often tenuous grasp of history and geography is noted, but generally gets nothing more than a rueful head shake. It just doesn’t matter. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/55 "2010-11-03T17:29:09Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > I like how they always say “Yeah, the suspect ran a website for talking about little girls…”, hit a button and the website just springs up, fully loaded with sound, animation and whatever. Are you posting from 1998? Because when I visit a webpage, it loads more or less instantly. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/56 "2010-11-03T20:34:32Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > I always rationalize it as they only solve the cases we see. They have other cases, “off-camera,” that go unsolved. Sometimes we see multiple cases going simultaneously and only one gets solved within the hour. “L&O: SVU” did this at least once and it’s an ongoing theme with “Blue Bloods”. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/57 "2010-11-03T20:49:39Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > The passwords on the various Treks seemed okay – except for the bit about havin to say them OUT LOUD. Technically, I think those systems are supposed to rely upon voice print analysis as part of the actual password. > [@Shoeless](#): > > I’m always amazed when I watch “House” that none of his team has ever been arrested for breaking-and-entering when going to the patient-of-the-week’s house to figure out what made them sick. I think the premise is that they end up giving them a pass when he solves the case for them. It’s especially useful that they don’t have much actual “breaking”. Sure, they pick a lock, but they don’t kick in the door and leave a busted door jamb behind. There was also the episode where Chase climbed a fence and entered an emty house to find where teens where smoking weed, and then had to run from the cops when they showed up. > [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > Do hospitals even do this in real life? Almost certainly not. It is a pretense of the show. House wants to know _ **everything** _ about his patients, because of the nature of the medical mystery. Most doctors are able to parse what is wrong from standard diagnositic techniques. And even if they can’t, they aren’t going to personally screen a patient’s environment. They’re going to propose suggestions and use screening tests, or question the patient and others. > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I think that’s right. It’s certainly the case with House. I expect he averages about 45 cases a year, of which we only see 22 or so because the patient’s malady is solved in one day. Actually, the typical House case takes ~3 - 5 days. There’s usually 2 nights of testing/screening/surgery/waiting for the first treatment to fail so they can add a symptom to the list. Often, the overarching storyline flows directly together (e.g. recently when 13 left. First episode is the team trying to question her, then she’s gone. Second episode is the next day with House showing up and asking about her.) There is some leeway, because House only has ~22 episodes a year, and that leaves room for summer hiatus and such. Surely he’s doing something in those gaps. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/58 "2010-11-03T20:55:33Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > Actually, the typical House case takes ~3 - 5 days. There’s usually 2 nights of testing/screening/surgery/waiting for the first treatment to fail so they can add a symptom to the list. Often, the overarching storyline flows directly together (e.g. recently when 13 left. First episode is the team trying to question her, then she’s gone. Second episode is the next day with House showing up and asking about her.) There is some leeway, because House only has ~22 episodes a year, and that leaves room for summer hiatus and such. Surely he’s doing something in those gaps. That’s kind of my point. There’s cases we don’t see, because they’re boring. As for the Trek thing, you’re right, but the way it’s shown on the show is stupid. If Data can so flawlessly replicate a voice, then there’s plenty of audio engineers and such who can do it as well. And since there’s sensors all over the freaking ship, you’d think they’d just require the computer to scan the person’s DNA or quantum technobabble signature or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/59 "2010-11-03T21:38:56Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > ::wanders into the room while my wife is watching a rerun of Law & Order:SVU:: > > “Is that Luke Perry?” > “Yes.” > “Ah…so he did it then?” > [snip] > “Yeah. He did it.” I just saw that one yesterday! Has there ever been a TV couple that had a conversation about taking their relationship slowly and not rushing into sex, without flopping into eachother to start making out urgently? There’s also a certain shot setup, if a character’s driving and we’re looking from their right out the driver’s side window…that car’s gonna get hit. Bug me. The waiting, knowing the crash is coming makes me uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066/60 "2010-11-03T22:04:30Z")
I’ve rattled on and on at length on this board about the beeping keyboard, but there’s a new one that’s getting more and more tiresome: the police computer “expert” guy that does all of his fancy hacking by… **typing 150 words per minute, without ever using the mouse**. Quick, view the source of this page, and see how fast you can reproduce it in a new window by typing as fast as possible and not once using the mouse. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/television-show-complaints/559066.md?page=4)