I’m young enough (27) to have not given up my dreams, but I’ve been working in office jobs for five years and definitely know a little about soul-crushing.
For the first three, I was working in a small, friendly office mostly doing IT and gofer work. It was very pleasant, and I had enough downtime and variety to keep myself stimulated and cheerful. But…the pay wasn’t enough and, being a small office, there was nowhere up to go.
Two years ago, I started doing customer service and tech support at a national telecom company. Saying I’ve hated every minute of it would be a slight exaggeration – there’s usually one or two “good days” every month. The work isn’t bad (per se) and the people aren’t bad (per se), but I spend nine hours daily being as bored as I can imagine being. I’m kept precisely busy enough that I can’t actually think, yet it’s purely repetitive, unchanging work. I leave every day feeling like I’ve accomplished nothing and learned nothing. I had hopes of climbing the ladder to something engaging, but it’s increasingly clear that any job here that isn’t mind-numbingly dull is a solid ten years (and probably an MBA) away.
Unfortunately, it pays better than almost anything else I’m qualified for, and my wife lost her job so our finances are too tight to take a paycut to shift to more interesting / rewarding / challenging work.
I’m hardly one to complain about having a decent-paying, relatively comfortable job during a terrible economy. But, well, I sure ain’t happy. In the past six months, I’ve dealt with major depression, insomnia, self-loathing, and suicidal thoughts for the first time in my life.
Ironically, I tried to seek professional therapy but, after five phone calls, my company’s “don’t kill yourself!” hotline still hasn’t provided the only local therapist they support with the info needed to schedule an appointment. I gave up and bought some self-therapy books from a Borders store-closing clearance.
I’m hopeful I’ll find better work soon (my wife finally got a job, so I can afford a little pay hit now). If I genuinely believed I’d still be here eighteen months from now, I don’t know how I’d get through the day.
Mileage may vary – I have happy coworkers! Just…know yourself, and know what your brain needs.