I’ve never had a cavity. However, I will share the story about the time I was diagnosed with five cavities.
Let me tell you a tale of unemployment. My dad lost his job last September, and, as a result, I no longer have dental insurance. The way that I was raised, however, dictated that I go to the dentist at LEAST once a year, and ideally once every six months.
Nine months after my last dentist appointment–which puts me in early this August–my mom finds an ad in the Yellow pages for a 50 dollar cleaning and exam with X-rays. Angel, she says, you should get your teeth cleaned here. I agree, being short on funds and long on desire for dental perfection.
So I go to this place. The person who cleans my teeth is really nice–we talked about astrology and Wicca–but does a really shit job of cleaning my teeth. Then, the dentist comes in. He immediately diagnoses me with five cavities.
I’ve never had a cavity in my life.
Numb with fear, I ask if he’s sure. He said he was, then proceeded to ask if I drink a lot of sugar soda and/or eat a lot of candy. It was then that I woke up.
I may be a bit overweight–nothing gross, mind you, but definately not skinny; I’d call it voluptuous ;)–but I do NOT drink sugar soda. I hardly ever eat candy. I don’t LIKE either of those things, and I crash if I have too much sugar. It dawns on me then that this is probably a scam. I look like I can afford to pay $500 extra for five cavities to be fixed–can’t help that, really, I can dress well on a small budget and my shoes still LOOK new and non-Payless–and, obviously, since I’m overweight, I must not pay any attention to my dental hygiene.
I realize that spending $100 to go see the real dentist is cheaper than filling even ONE cavity that I don’t have, so I make an appointment with them. They clean my teeth much more thoroughly. Then, the dentist comes in.
I have one hole in one of my sealant (sp?) on my 12-year molars. It’s not a cavity; I got the sealant 10 years ago and it’s getting old. I have nothing else that could be even remotely mistaken for a cavity. I thank him and tell him the story, then go on my merry way.
Other than that, no dental escapades. Never had a cavity, take good care of my teeth. I had braces for a couple of years, so my teeth are very nice and straight. One of my better features. Them and my non-candy-and-sugar-soda-fed voluptuous breasts.