# Tell me about your unplanned pregnancy. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 25, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944 "2011-01-25T18:40:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/61 "2011-01-28T14:52:44Z")
> [@Laudenum](#): > > I _think_ I may have read something that wasn’t there… I have certainly never done anything like that on any message board, particularly not this one. 🆒 (It’s all good.) I didn’t see anything wrong with **lindsay** ’s post, btw. I have three actual kids and multiple false-alarm pregnancy scares, if this information is needed to give me cred. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/62 "2011-01-28T15:08:02Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > So…you don’t have kids either. Classy. No, but, as the part you quoted yourself indicates, she’s pregnant; IIRC, a very short time from delivery. I would think she’s a lot more knowledgeable of what being pregnant feels like and of the raw nerves it causes than you or me, as she’s going through them daily. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/63 "2011-01-28T15:44:27Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > Given the excruciating cramps and bleeding, at this point I feel like the decision may be out of our hands anyway. If that’s the case, we’ll probably mourn a little - no one likes the loss of life, especially if you were the one carrying it inside you - but be a little relieved. And there’s nothing, absolutely _nothing_, wrong with that. I don’t recall your spiritual/religious status, but when that happened to me, my thought was to contemplate what “The Universe” was “telling” me. What I found was that, after the ambivalence cleared, it was actually a pretty clear lesson for me that I _didn’t_ want any more children, and I’d better take stock of my contraceptive options, and look into the more permanent (and effective) methods than I’d previously contemplated. When a friend of mine had the same thing happen to her, her lesson was that she actually \*did \*want another child, and so she planned her life for the next year to get on stronger financial footing before intentionally conceiving again. I have no idea what your “lesson”, as it were, might be, or whether it’s being delivered by an outside source or if this is just an opportunity to listen to your subconscious with the volume turned up and see what it says. But, as said upthread so many times, there are no wrong answers here. Whatever happens, whatever your choice or your body’s situation, you and your family will be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/64 "2011-01-28T16:04:42Z")
After having 3 kids, I was totally done. Baby factory was closed. Right. When my youngest was less than a year old, I found out I was pregnant. This was amazing to me since due to a hard time birthing, nursing and caring for the first 3, my husband and I had had sex only ONE TIME in the past 6 months. That’s all it took. I was too old, too tired, and too DONE to have another baby. Despite all that, Sam was born in due time. Now he’s in 1st grade, is an amazing artist, loves to play soccer, and is excellent at driving his siblings crazy. If I could go back in time, I’d tell my freaked out, newly pregnant self to not be so worried. It’s not a disaster, it’s just Sam… ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/65 "2011-01-28T16:33:37Z")
> [@Palo\_Verde](#): > > If I could go back in time, I’d tell my freaked out, newly pregnant self to not be so worried. It’s not a disaster, it’s just Sam… Well put. Why are there tears in my eyes? I better not be pregnant! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/66 "2011-01-28T17:00:27Z")
> [@Palo\_Verde](#): > > After having 3 kids, I was totally done. Baby factory was closed. > > Right. > > When my youngest was less than a year old, I found out I was pregnant. This was amazing to me since due to a hard time birthing, nursing and caring for the first 3, my husband and I had had sex only ONE TIME in the past 6 months. That’s all it took. This is almost exactly my situation - I think it was just twice in the last two or three months. And I was on the pill, taking it oh, so faithfully and breastfeeding, so - silly me - I thought we were safe. Turns out I’m 6 weeks and _definitely_ pregnant. I have to go in today again, this time for an ultrasound, due to all the bleeding and pain. I took some Tylenol, which dulled it a bit, but it’s still pretty bad. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/67 "2011-01-28T20:17:02Z")
You know we’re all thinking of you. Whatever happens, however you feel, life will go on and you will get through it. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/68 "2011-01-28T20:27:58Z")
Oh, and FWIW and it’s probably not what you want to hear, but I think I’ll probably say it anyway. If you’re going to miscarry, you will. All the bed rest in the world won’t change that. There is no evidence that any intervention decreases the chance of miscarriage in an otherwise healthy woman. Sometimes these things just aren’t meant to be. Be gentle to yourself, and don’t feel that there is something you should have been doing. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/69 "2011-01-28T20:45:39Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > And there’s nothing, absolutely _nothing_, wrong with that. I don’t recall your spiritual/religious status, but when that happened to me, my thought was to contemplate what “The Universe” was “telling” me. What I found was that, after the ambivalence cleared, it was actually a pretty clear lesson for me that I _didn’t_ want any more children, and I’d better take stock of my contraceptive options, and look into the more permanent (and effective) methods than I’d previously contemplated. When a friend of mine had the same thing happen to her, her lesson was that she actually \*did \*want another child, and so she planned her life for the next year to get on stronger financial footing before intentionally conceiving again. > > I have no idea what your “lesson”, as it were, might be, or whether it’s being delivered by an outside source or if this is just an opportunity to listen to your subconscious with the volume turned up and see what it says. But, as said upthread so many times, there are no wrong answers here. Whatever happens, whatever your choice or your body’s situation, you and your family will be fine. I was thinking the same thing. Sometimes, fate has to tell us what we want. And indeed, whatever choices are made or whatever her body does, its going to be fine. Perhaps different, but fine. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/70 "2011-01-29T12:49:14Z")
In the hospital post surgery. The pregnancy was ectopic and starting to rupture. I lost a rube and part of my ovary. Sent husband home with the kids post recovery but I can’t sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/71 "2011-01-29T12:58:22Z")
Ouch. I’m sorry you are going through this. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/72 "2011-01-29T13:26:44Z")
Prayers and lots and lots of hugs. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/73 "2011-01-29T13:58:51Z")
((overly)) Holy crap! Are you feeling okay? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/74 "2011-01-29T14:16:59Z")
Ugh. I’m glad you caught it - those can be quite scary. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/75 "2011-01-29T14:48:35Z")
{{{ **overlyverbose** }}} What **Dangerosa** said – what a blessing they caught it so soon. Ectopic pregnancies are no joke. Take good gentle care of yourself. I’m sorry for your upheaval, and hope you’re back to full health as soon as can be. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/76 "2011-01-29T16:50:27Z")
How awful for you. Thinking of you and your family and best wishes for a speedy recovery. {{{ **overly family** }}} ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/77 "2011-01-29T17:11:52Z")
Damn! Glad you’re okay. Take good care of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/78 "2011-01-29T17:24:35Z")
{{ **overlyverbose** }} ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/79 "2011-01-29T17:24:41Z")
Sorry you have to deal with this. If it made you realize you want another, that’s ok. If you feel nothing but relief, that’s ok too. When my oldest was 6 months I got pregnant and ended up miscarrying at about 10 weeks. I was really relieved. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944/80 "2011-01-29T18:47:42Z")
Woah, glad you caught it early. Hope you feel (physically and emotionally) better. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-unplanned-pregnancy/568944.md?page=5)