# Tell me, Texmam, are you in show business? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 21, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010 "2010-06-21T18:13:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/61 "2010-06-22T18:40:21Z")
Well, to tell the family secret my grandmother was Dutch. ---
**Author:** ![MN\_Maenad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@MN\_Maenad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MN_Maenad)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/62 "2010-06-22T19:00:48Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > Where the white women at? This line always makes me laugh until I can’t breathe. I have no idea what that says about me, but I’m sure it isn’t good. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/63 "2010-06-22T20:07:52Z")
“He’s hit Bunny! Get him, girls!” ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/64 "2010-06-22T21:07:21Z")
Send a wire to the main office. Tell them I said OWWwww… ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/65 "2010-06-22T21:26:47Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > Send a wire to the main office. Tell them I said OWWwww… “You… said… OW. Got it.” ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/66 "2010-06-22T21:30:54Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > “My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.” > “Ditto!” Also - "My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives. " ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/67 "2010-06-23T01:28:19Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > “My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.” > “Ditto!” “Ditto? Ditto, you provincial putz?” ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/68 "2010-06-23T14:05:10Z")
Awww, Mongo straight! ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/69 "2010-06-23T14:58:36Z")
Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp out runaway decency in the west. Now you men will only be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor. ---
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/70 "2010-06-23T15:06:21Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > It is my privilege to extend a laurel, and hearty handshake… It wasn’t until about 4 years ago that my mom finally “got” that joke - she was so stuck on the visual of the laurel wreath and the hearty handshake - that she never realized there was a “Laurel and Hardy” pun/reference in there as well! ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/71 "2010-06-23T15:16:30Z")
Here boys, take these, in lieu of your salary! ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/72 "2010-06-23T15:20:57Z")
> [@Joe Frickin Friday](#): > > More beans, Mr. Taggart? I reckon you’ve about had enough! ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/73 "2010-06-23T15:37:32Z")
> [@Politzania](#): > > It wasn’t until about 4 years ago that my mom finally “got” that joke - she was so stuck on the visual of the laurel wreath and the hearty handshake - that she never realized there was a “Laurel and Hardy” pun/reference in there as well! It took me a long time to get “Mongo! Santa Maria!,” too. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/74 "2010-06-23T16:47:38Z")
> [@Shark\_Sandwich](#): > > Also - "My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives. " “You use your tongue purtier’n a $20 whore!” > [@Politzania](#): > > It wasn’t until about 4 years ago that my mom finally “got” that joke - she was so stuck on the visual of the laurel wreath and the hearty handshake - that she never realized there was a “Laurel and Hardy” pun/reference in there as well! :eek: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/75 "2010-06-23T17:01:39Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > :eek: :smack: Yeah, took me a while too. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/76 "2010-06-23T17:27:07Z")
Bart: Now, I suppose you’re all wondering just what in the heck you’re doing out here in the middle of a prairie in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. Crowd: You bet your ass. Bart: I’m hip. Jim: Where you headed, cowboy? Bart: Nowhere special. Jim: Nowhere special; I always wanted to go there. Bart: Come on. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/77 "2010-06-23T17:48:11Z")
"You’ll of course have the decency not to tell anyone I spoke to you.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/78 "2010-06-23T17:55:52Z")
How did he do such great stunts with such tiny hands! ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/79 "2010-06-23T18:05:16Z")
> [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](#): > > More schnitzengruben? No, thanks. 15 is my limit on schnitzengruben. ---
**Author:** ![Klytus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Klytus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klytus)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010/80 "2010-06-23T19:46:32Z")
Hedley Lamarr: “Qualifications?” Waco Kid (in KKK disguse): “Stampeding cattle.” Hedley Lamarr: “That doesn’t sound too horrible.” Bart (in KKK disguse): “Through the Vatican?” Hedley Lamarr: “Kinky!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-texmam-are-you-in-show-business/544010.md?page=5)