# Tell me what you think about my boyfriend situation **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 2005, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-what-you-think-about-my-boyfriend-situation/334644 "2005-12-08T09:36:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-what-you-think-about-my-boyfriend-situation/334644/61 "2005-12-09T18:46:23Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#): > > I had an engagement that was called off by Mama. After I’d bought a dress, even. And she wouldn’t say why, only that she didn’t approve and his parents wouldn’t be at the wedding. That was the end of that. > > Be very careful. Mama’s boys can break your heart, bad, and not even seem to realize how screwed up the whole situation is. I don’t think he realized how weird it is to call off your wedding because of your parents when you’re in your early 40s… I had an engagement broken off b/c of parental interference as well, but this was more than a mama’s boy, it was a man who refused to grow up, ever. Never lived alone, never had a lease in his name, etc. Always had a family environment around him and wouldn’t make a move w/o consulting them, until he proposed to me. It took them less than three months to talk him out of it. In the long run though, I have to admit they saved me the headache of raising him the next thirty years and having the added benefit of a lunatic MIL. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-what-you-think-about-my-boyfriend-situation/334644/62 "2005-12-09T19:25:48Z")
Like I said. There are some kinds of guys that have no business being anything but alone. Violent sociopaths are one kind. Child molesters are another. Mama’s boys are no exception just because they’re generally nonviolent. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-what-you-think-about-my-boyfriend-situation/334644/63 "2005-12-09T20:01:51Z")
She hasn’t been back to this thread. I wonder what’s going on? Have we scared her away with the hard truth? Is she sitting in a corner somewhere, fingers in her ears, going lalalalalalalala? So sad. I thought we’d rescued one. But, sometimes you can warn someone away from the electric fence and sometimes they have to pee on it themselves before they get the message. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-what-you-think-about-my-boyfriend-situation/334644/64 "2005-12-09T20:55:34Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > \ But, sometimes you can warn someone away from the electric fence and sometimes they have to pee on it themselves before they get the message. Most people have to pee on it themselves. We gave her some input, we have possibly planted a seed, and what she does with it is entirely up to her. Thinking back to my :ahem: less than perfect match boyfriends, I wonder if anything anyone could have told me would have changed my behaviour one bit. The good thing about learning for yourself is that you _truly_ learn it that way. ---
**Author:** ![PinkMarabou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@PinkMarabou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkMarabou)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-what-you-think-about-my-boyfriend-situation/334644/65 "2005-12-09T21:11:12Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > She hasn’t been back to this thread. > > I wonder what’s going on? Have we scared her away with the hard truth? Is she sitting in a corner somewhere, fingers in her ears, going lalalalalalalala? > > So sad. I thought we’d rescued one. But, sometimes you can warn someone away from the electric fence and sometimes they have to pee on it themselves before they get the message. Yeah, I really hope we haven’t upset her terribly. But she did ask for our opinions. Hopefully she’ll return with more details or an update to the situation. And you’re right, some people have to learn the hard way - experience. She’s so young and I’d hate to see her be miserable for the next few (many?) years and possibly bring a child into the picture. It’s a sad situation and a lot of women try to “fix” men because they love them, but most times it doesn’t work. Who knows, maybe she’ll be successful with him. Though the way he talks about wanting other women, all I see is heartbreak for her. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-what-you-think-about-my-boyfriend-situation/334644/66 "2005-12-09T22:51:00Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > I had an engagement broken off b/c of parental interference as well, but this was more than a mama’s boy, it was a man who refused to grow up, ever. Never lived alone, never had a lease in his name, etc. Always had a family environment around him and wouldn’t make a move w/o consulting them, until he proposed to me. It took them less than three months to talk him out of it. In the long run though, I have to admit they saved me the headache of raising him the next thirty years and having the added benefit of a lunatic MIL. Mine wasn’t that bad, but in the long run, I’m grateful we didn’t get married. I expect it wouldn’t have lasted very long and the breakup would have been hell. The breakup was hellish enough as it was. The problem is that mama’s boys and their mamas haven’t figured out that parental roles change when you reach adult age. If they can’t figure that out, then you’re doomed, because mama wins every time. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-what-you-think-about-my-boyfriend-situation/334644/67 "2005-12-09T23:00:37Z")
I wonder if the fact that Ms. Rectum started a [Ghost World appreciation thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=348739) sheds any light on her situation, and whether we should be picturing her boyfriend as Steve Buscemi. > [@PrehensileRectum](#): > > Has anyone here seen Ghost World? > > This is my favorite movie ever. It feels like my life. I feel like Enid sometimes and I can relate. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-what-you-think-about-my-boyfriend-situation/334644/68 "2005-12-09T23:06:19Z")
> [@Thudlow Boink](#): > > I wonder if the fact that Ms. Rectum started a [Ghost World appreciation thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=348739) sheds any light on her situation, and whether we should be picturing her boyfriend as Steve Buscemi. Og forbid. 78rpm record collectors should _never_ marry, reproduce, or indeed make _any_ sort of attempt at heterosexual companionship. (Gay is quite another thing. I know several gay record guys who are very happy. No logic here – except as **YaWanna** said, all relationships are variations on a few old themes.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-what-you-think-about-my-boyfriend-situation/334644.md?page=3)