# Tell me where to hide some cash **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 10, 2013, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555 "2013-11-10T05:51:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/1 "2013-11-10T05:51:09Z")
TL/DR: funny, cheeky, ingenious suggestions needed: hiding spots for cash. OK, so I’ve got to move in a few days. Yard sale this weekend netted me a few bills. But 99% of my crap is being moved by a team of professional but anonymous movers. Give me your poor, your hungry … Nah, scratch that: give me your funny, your irreverent, your clever, your {insert description here} suggestions: how best to hide mah dollah dollah bill yo for about a week or so? I’m not looking for practical suggestions so much as making me laugh posts, but, ah, I’m willing to take a second and third look at the practical posts too. And no, I’m not investing at this point. I want cash, in US dollars as God intended, just as I have them. I dunno: Old Bay spice container? ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/2 "2013-11-10T05:58:16Z")
When I was a teen and thought it would be just ducky to drive to Toronto from Cleveland with a bag of weed, someone told my friend and I that the best place to hide it would be in a Baggie inside a jar of peanut butter. I bet mayonnaise would be easier to work with. As for our trip, we decided to stay and smoke in New York and leave the stuff in the hotel while we drove to Toronto for the day. Winners! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/3 "2013-11-10T06:08:43Z")
You could consider a [charger,](http://www.donrearic.com/leplan4.jpg) as described in _Papillion_, in order to hide it in one of your bodily orifices. (Women have more options than men.) ---
**Author:** ![tellyworth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/977dab/32.png) [@tellyworth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tellyworth)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/4 "2013-11-10T06:14:19Z")
The [top of a door](http://makezine.com/projects/make-34/doortop-stash/). You might like [The Big Book of Secret Hiding Places](http://amazon.com/Big-Book-Secret-Hiding-Places/dp/0915179660/). ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/5 "2013-11-10T06:25:28Z")
You can’t put it in your pocket? Otherwise, mix it in the pages of some boring books, or in an envelope taped inside the dust jackets. Or, inside the frames of pictures, between the back of the picture and the mounting back/matte. Or, bury inside the pots of houseplants. I also offer cash storage services. Easy deposit, no withdrawal necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/6 "2013-11-10T06:44:49Z")
Some head shops used to sell realistic-looking fake cans of real brands of motor oil that were actually boxes with a screw-off lid. I think it was so you could hide your stash in it and put it among the real motor-oil cans while on the road. A cop who stopped you would be none the wiser. I think they came in Coke and Pepsi cans too. Maybe they still make these. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/7 "2013-11-10T07:33:43Z")
I’d hide it in the bank. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/8 "2013-11-10T07:55:07Z")
Roll up the money, put it in some plastic tubing, seal the ends and put the tubing on the gas tank of your motorcycle. (yes, that’s from _Easy Rider_) ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/9 "2013-11-10T08:00:45Z")
When I’m traveling in a third world country, I always keep a hundred bucks or so in my boot. Put it in a ziploc baggie to keep it from absorbing your foot sweat. For double safety, put it underneath the insole. That’s pretty damn good against either a bag snatcher or a mugger; no one is going to wait for me to unlace my boots before running away. Since you’re moving, I recommend this. Inside a book is a tempting idea, but books will almost always open naturally to the page with the money in it, especially if you’re talking about more than two bills. Taping the envelope to the underneath side of a dresser drawer is pretty safe, except that you’re specifically talking about having folks move those drawers. Roll the bills around batteries and then put those batteries into devices like flashlights. I could hide a couple bills between my phone and my phone case, or maybe inside the cover of the phone. ---
**Author:** ![yorick73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5a626/32.png) [@yorick73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yorick73)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/10 "2013-11-10T08:06:02Z")
Spare tire well in your car. Also a great place to hide things from the wife…unless she has a flat. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/11 "2013-11-10T08:34:18Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I’d hide it in the bank. Nah, that’s the first place I would look. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/12 "2013-11-10T08:36:48Z")
> [@yorick73](#): > > Spare tire well in your car. Ah…tires! In the movies, big-time professional smugglers take the tires off the wheel rims of a car and put their drugs and diamonds inside. But for that, you need an accomplice at a garage with tire-changing equipment. Now, I assume that you’re not a big-time guy… So…instead of a car, use a bicycle. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/13 "2013-11-10T08:57:53Z")
You have a kitteh, no? Envelope, ziplock bag, bottom of the litter box. If you’re traveling, and not using a litter box, tape it to the ceiling of the cat carrier. ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/14 "2013-11-10T09:01:22Z")
Roll the bills into small cylinders and tuck those inside tampon tubes–Tampax brand work best–rewrap the tampon tubes and return them to the box. Easy and relatively cheap! ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/15 "2013-11-10T09:02:24Z")
Put the money in a zip lock bag: 1. Put in dirty laundry, perhaps in the most disgusting underwear. 2. Buy a fresh chicken, stuff bag in chicken’s butt, and freeze the chicken. 3. Bury bag in dirt in house plant. 4. Hide bag in a bag of flour or sugar. 5. Send it to me and I will, uh, keep it safe… ---
**Author:** ![silvermist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@silvermist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silvermist)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/16 "2013-11-10T09:02:57Z")
I’m not telling, you might visit my house 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Thylacine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thylacine/32/1143_2.png) [@Thylacine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thylacine)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/17 "2013-11-10T10:13:57Z")
Do US kitchen cupboards all hold a tin of sardines in a cardboard box nobody can ever remember buying like Aussie ones do? That is the perfect spot, nobody is ever going to eat those sardines. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/18 "2013-11-10T12:00:34Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > You have a kitteh, no? Envelope, ziplock bag, bottom of the litter box. If you’re traveling, and not using a litter box, tape it to the ceiling of the cat carrier. and if you don’t have a cat carrier … tape it to the cat 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/19 "2013-11-10T12:15:06Z")
Do NOT put it in the oven and then start baking cookies. Do NOT put it in a book and then forget which book you put it in. Do NOT put it in a trash bag and then let your mom take out the trash. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555/20 "2013-11-10T12:29:51Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > Roll the bills into small cylinders and tuck those inside tampon tubes–! As the mother of 3 boys, my MIL discovered the \*only \*way to hide snack cakes from her hungry hoard was in Kotex boxes! She didn’t tell them about that trick till they were grown and out of the house. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-where-to-hide-some-cash/673555.md?page=2)