# Tell me why you should receive the perfect cookie. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2010, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488 "2010-06-17T00:04:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/41 "2010-06-17T15:15:28Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I probably will, as soon as I pick a topic. I have a couple of weeks. Well, I’ll help where I can! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/42 "2010-06-17T15:16:45Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Heh, **[del] Sméagol [/del]**, heh, **Attack from the 3rd dimension** has already tried that, hasn’t he precious? Apparently the tactic didn’t work for either one of us. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Mithril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mithril/32/3517_2.png) [@Mithril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mithril)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/43 "2010-06-17T15:16:46Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > 😕 > I didn’t bake the cookies. If I could bake 'em, there’d be more than 144. > Um…140, at this point. My blood sugar went down in the middle of the night. Too long on the treadmill yesterday, sorry. > Turn your teleport receive pad on, damn it! > Both of y’all know perfectly well you’re getting cookies. > Neither Mrs. Which nor Mrs. Who is broken. > Okay, but I expect you to do something to track down his puppet-master. I’d do it myself but I’m conflicted out of the project. > Yeah, I’m probably gonna need some help from you next month, because it’s my turn again to lead the talk at the amateur astronomer’s society and I want to look smart. Gimme some fresh facts about the heat death, damn it! > 134, at this point. Anyway, you just insulted Galadriel. You better hope Legolas isn’t a lurker. > 😕 > I sent you one of 'em first thing, Miss Portman. You may wish to check with your butler or housekeeper or whatever. ☹ Not even a denial of cookie? Are you keeping me in suspense just to mess with me? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/44 "2010-06-17T15:16:53Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > Never mind **Juliana** , _I_ want the recipe! Low-cal chocolate cookies that don’t give blood sugar spikes or require crazy amounts of insulin to eat? I’m IN! I sent her an email. ETA: I mean I sent my friend an email asking for the recipe. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/45 "2010-06-17T15:19:01Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I sent her an email. > > ETA: I mean I sent my friend an email asking for the recipe. Woo! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/46 "2010-06-17T15:28:40Z")
> [@Mithril](#): > > ☹ Not even a denial of cookie? Are you keeping me in suspense just to mess with me? Dude, YOUR NAME IS AN HOMAGE TO TOLKIEN! Of course you’re getting a cookie. Same for Qadgop and the rest of his sidekicks. Little diabetic kids obviously go first, though. How could I explain doing anything else to Aslan? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/47 "2010-06-17T15:31:36Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > Apparently the tactic didn’t work for either one of us. ☹ Apparently Gollum doesn’t get a shortcut to\*\* Skald’s\*\* larder either. Who knew? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/48 "2010-06-17T15:45:05Z")
I shouldn’t get one. I’d just eat it, because good cookies are to be savored. However, then no other cookie could ever compare, and I would have to spend the rest of my life not eating cookies, lest I be sadly judging them as sub-par to the Perfect Cookie and wondering why I bothered when I could be trying some other dessert instead, hoping to find the nearest-perfect example of a cupcake or something. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/49 "2010-06-17T15:47:12Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > I shouldn’t get one. I’d just eat it, because good cookies are to be savored. However, then no other cookie could ever compare, and I would have to spend the rest of my life not eating cookies, lest I be sadly judging them as sub-par to the Perfect Cookie and wondering why I bothered when I could be trying some other dessert instead, hoping to find the nearest-perfect example of a cupcake or something. I think Green Arrow used that as an excuse to not look at the Mysterious Space Babe who was apparently the most beautiful woman in creation, while the two Green Lanterns with him were ogling her nakedness. But everyone knew the real reason was that his girlfriend would break his face if he peeked. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/50 "2010-06-17T15:54:40Z")
Because I finally braved delurking and risked making my first post just to ask if I could have one. Pretty please? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/51 "2010-06-17T16:00:48Z")
Because if you don’t, I’ll start posting earworms to this thread. Don’t make me break out the Disney albums! ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/52 "2010-06-17T16:01:33Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Because if you don’t, I’ll start posting earworms to this thread. > > Don’t make me break out the Disney albums! That’s against the law that is! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/53 "2010-06-17T16:10:20Z")
_starts humming quietly_ ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/54 "2010-06-17T16:17:30Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > ☹ > > Now you make me wish this wasn’t a joke thread! > > The perfect cookie would have to be magic, of course. It would have carbs only when needed–say like in the middle of last night, when my blood sugar was crashing. > > My best friend makes me these excellent low-cal chocolate cookies that don’t make me spike. If you want I’ll get the recipe. Nothing to be sad about, **Skald**. She’s not. She says it makes her stand out. 🙂 And yes, I would love the recipe, if you can get it. And so would she. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/55 "2010-06-17T16:19:14Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Little diabetic kids obviously go first, though. How could I explain doing anything else to Aslan? You are a total sweetheart. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/56 "2010-06-17T16:25:09Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > _starts humming quietly_ You too know perfectly well you’re getting one. Stop being coy, it’s vexsome. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/57 "2010-06-17T16:28:42Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > You too know perfectly well you’re getting one. Stop being coy, it’s vexsome. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/58 "2010-06-17T17:18:13Z")
I’ll let you see a picture of my dog. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/59 "2010-06-17T17:33:45Z")
Because my basement drain backed up raw sewage this morning after Mrs. Mustard used the washing machine. I cleaned it up. Then, later, she was heading out shopping. She said, “do you think it will back up again?” “Not as long as we don’t use the washing machine.” “What? Uh-oh!” Yes, Mrs. Mustard ran another load. Yes, we received some brand new sewage. I told her to go ahead and go shopping, I would clean it up. And so I did. Me like cookies. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/60 "2010-06-17T17:51:57Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Dude, YOUR NAME IS AN HOMAGE TO TOLKIEN! > > Of course you’re getting a cookie. Same for Qadgop and the rest of his sidekicks. > > Little diabetic kids obviously go first, though. How could I explain doing anything else to Aslan? Yay! [Discards elaborate plea for a cookie, gets in line behind **Mithril** , **Quagdop** , **Elendil’s Heir** , \*\*Athelas \*\*and the rest of the band]. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488.md?page=4)