# Tell me why you should receive the perfect cookie. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2010, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488 "2010-06-17T00:04:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/61 "2010-06-17T17:58:27Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > \ > Turn your teleport receive pad on, damn it!\ Oops. Heh heh. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/62 "2010-06-17T18:58:56Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > Yay! > [Discards elaborate plea for a cookie, gets in line behind **Mithril** , **Quagdop** , **Elendil’s Heir** , \*\*Athelas \*\*and the rest of the band]. Lucky you, that Fool of a Took! seems to have something against Looneys. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/63 "2010-06-17T19:03:18Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Yes, Mrs. Mustard ran another load. Yes, we received some brand new sewage. I told her to go ahead and go shopping, I would clean it up. And so I did. I think **Mean Mr. Mustard** deserves a cake. And a whole heck of a lot of appreciation. It takes a special guy to clean up raw sewage twice and not complain. ---
**Author:** ![dmatsch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@dmatsch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dmatsch)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/64 "2010-06-17T20:50:54Z")
because I just scored an ounce and I’ve got milk and the munchies… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/65 "2010-06-17T20:54:13Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > I’ll let you see a picture of my dog. I already have pictures of everyone’s puppies, thanks, provided by a djinn of my acquaintance. I thought about wishing for pictures of everyone’s pussies but decided that could be misinterpreted and I didn’t want to get punched in the schnozz. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/66 "2010-06-17T21:56:28Z")
Because I’m nice, dammit. It’s right up there by my name, so it must be true! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/67 "2010-06-17T21:56:56Z")
> [@hermette](#): > > Because I finally braved delurking and risked making my first post just to ask if I could have one. > > Pretty please? You may have TWO, one for each _t_ in your screen name, as per Board Rule 188405-d. Any moment someone will tell you that getting two is some sort of trick and that Rhymers are not to be trusted, any of them. That is a vicious lie and should be ignored. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/68 "2010-06-17T22:05:30Z")
Because you like me? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/69 "2010-06-17T22:07:47Z")
> [@Silver Tyger Girl](#): > > Because you like me? You know it, S’kat. But you get ONLY one unless you admit that Cheetara only goes jogging every morning because she knows Panthro is watching (and in SPITE of the fact that Tygra is). ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/70 "2010-06-17T22:17:36Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Little diabetic kids obviously go first, though. How could I explain doing anything else to Aslan? I really hate it when you do this. Now I gotta go put my cookie in the pile for the kids. Well, maybe except for this little tiny piece that sorta crumbled off. Aslan knows I’m no saint. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/71 "2010-06-17T22:22:15Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > I really hate it when you do this. Now I gotta go put my cookie in the pile for the kids. Well, maybe except for this little tiny piece that sorta crumbled off. Aslan knows I’m no saint. Well, it’s not like he’ll do anything. I mean, it’s your cookie and you’re entitled to it. It’s just that he’d know, and you’d know he’d know, and after about a week of that, you won’t be able to look at your own reflection and you’ll cut your own throat shaving or something. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/72 "2010-06-17T22:24:08Z")
I should get a cookie because I consider beer and cookies the two most important food groups. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/73 "2010-06-18T00:55:41Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I sent her an email. > > ETA: I mean I sent my friend an email asking for the recipe. Can I score a copy of the recipe also? I have an a1g coming up next month… ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/74 "2010-06-18T01:27:51Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Well, it’s not like he’ll do anything. I mean, it’s your cookie and you’re entitled to it. It’s just that he’d know, and you’d know he’d know, and after about a week of that, you won’t be able to look at your own reflection and you’ll cut your own throat shaving or something. Well, that and he might rat me out to Thor. Or the Klingon Warrior Academy. Both of which would be embarrassing. Or to my mother, which would be considerably worse, because she wields the “Disapproving Look of Maternal Wrath”, which has frozen stars AND melted planets. Simultaneously. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/75 "2010-06-18T01:29:44Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > You know it, S’kat. But you get ONLY one unless you admit that Cheetara only goes jogging every morning because she knows Panthro is watching (and in SPITE of the fact that Tygra is). Sure, because Tygra doesn’t need to watch, cuz he and Cheetara get funky every night. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/76 "2010-06-18T02:42:37Z")
Because my first non-musical acting role was in my high school’s production of _The Hobbit_. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/77 "2010-06-18T02:52:09Z")
I can has cookie? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![luv2draw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@luv2draw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luv2draw)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/78 "2010-06-18T05:02:47Z")
Because I’ve been unemployed for over a year and I could use some cheering up. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/79 "2010-06-18T05:12:54Z")
You shouldn’t give a cookie to me, except that if you do I’d give it to Cookie Monster. And if that mess of fuzzy blue cloth with Frank Oz’s hand up its ass doesn’t get a perfect cookie, there is no justice in this world. ---
**Author:** ![SevenOfTeemingMillions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@SevenOfTeemingMillions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SevenOfTeemingMillions)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488/80 "2010-06-18T06:29:41Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > 😕 > > I didn’t bake the cookies. If I could bake 'em, there’d be more than 144. _whimper_ The Skald-is-a-Saint sect has been telling us Skald-is-a-Deity crowd that we’ve been misinterpreting the Sacred OP all along. Didn’t my Plan B (_puppy eyes_) work? I have a Plan B, does that make me an agnostic? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-why-you-should-receive-the-perfect-cookie/543488.md?page=5)