# "Tell Me You Love Me" = pretentious porn (new HBO show) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 10, 2007, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671 "2007-09-10T14:21:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/1 "2007-09-10T14:21:41Z")
Did anybody watch this bilge last night? To summarze the premise. it’s about three different yuppie couples all seeing the same shrink. The show alternates between these couples boring us with their whining about their relationships and gratuitous, soft core porn porn scenes (sometimes with the use of prosthetics). It’s like a Skinemax version of “Thirtysomething.” The relationship stuff thinks it’s authentic and insightful but it’s really just boring and unrealistic and repetitive and the OTT prurience of the sex scenes undercuts the credibility of the drama and makes it hard to take anything seriously anyway. The sight of a woman jacking off a prosthetic, ejaculating phallus is so absurd, so transparently contrived to be “shocking” and “groundbreaking,” that it makes the drama laughable. It’s just ordinary, soft core porn with its nose in the air. It thinks it’s “art” because the talky scenes in between the sex have slightly better acting and what the writer imagines to be “authentic” dialogue (it isn’t…at all) Even the sex scenes are unerotic and ultimately kind of gutless because the show doesn’t REALLY want to show us anything real and the novelty of using prosthetics to create the illusion of explicit sex is going to get old fast (allegedly, there’s going to be some fake penetration shots of prosthetic vaginas in later episodes). Either show real sex and drop the pretensions that you’re anything but a stroke show or drop the sex and be a real drama. We lost Deadwood for this? ---
**Author:** ![Burton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Burton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burton)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/2 "2007-09-10T14:42:16Z")
Deadwood is done? ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/3 "2007-09-10T14:44:19Z")
[QUOTE=Burton] Deadwood is done? [/QUOTE] Well, if they must use prosthetics, dead wood is still there. ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/4 "2007-09-10T15:10:11Z")
Prosthetics, are you serious? I swear to God that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Is there some sort of logical rationale behind that, besides so-called actors lacking enough dedication to their craft to sacrifice themselves to their roles? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/5 "2007-09-10T15:17:05Z")
I watched it. It was better than I though it would be. I was a little confused about the trying-to-get pregnant couple. Is the implication that she’s going to get herself artificially inseminated and not tell her husband so he thinks the baby is his? Anyway, that 9PM Sunday time slot is generally open for me, so I tend to watch whatever is on HBO-- a holder from \*Sopranos \*and _Rome_. ---
**Author:** ![JXJohns](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jxjohns/32/469_2.png) [@JXJohns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JXJohns)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/6 "2007-09-10T15:56:25Z")
the OP forgot to mention the creepy, “old people” sex. Ground breaking indeed. Self centered whiners with more important things on their mind than each other. Specifically hard to believe was the previously mentioned couple trying to get pregnant. Why the issues with the guy’s dad? Is he somehow involved in getting his son’s wife pregnant? Why the angst about nailing your hot wife? If she says fuck me, here is some advice loser… do it. Later on we are supposed to believe that this metro-sexual, hair gel using, scrawny, can’t fuck his wife on demand, wussy is some sort of construction worker? Yeah, the laughs keep coming. As for the couple that has gone without for over year… Perhaps the time for the wife to notice something was wrong was before a year slipped by without them being together. Did it really take seeing her husband masturbate to kick in her concerns for their marriage? Don’t get me started about the couple about to get married. She was the only believable character on this waste of an hour, yet in the end still hung around with guy who wasn’t sure if he could commit to her exclusively. Honest to god, I feel dumber after watching this show and making these comments. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/7 "2007-09-10T16:23:47Z")
> [@jXJohns](#): > > the OP forgot to mention the creepy, “old people” sex. What are you, 12? > [@](#): > > Don’t get me started about the couple about to get married. She was the only believable character on this waste of an hour, yet in the end still hung around with guy who wasn’t sure if he could commit to her exclusively. Yeah, because she loves him and thinks that she’ll change him, and that life will still be better with him, and because their sex is great, and they place an inordinate importance on sex. And, he still wanted to marry her, and went through her orchestrated manipulations until it dawned on him what he had to say. > [@](#): > > Honest to god, I feel dumber after watching this show and making these comments. Well, I didn’t know you before, but. . . Anyway, I liked it. I thought all the couples were quite well-written. The young actress was very good. I’ve known women and men in her position, who just need to hear the right words even if she doesn’t believe them. Not that I talk so frankly about my friends and their sex lifes, but I thought the couple who had stopped having sex rang true. I can see the seeds of that in some relationships I know. And, who hasn’t sometimes just thought, “man, I’d rather just spank it tonight, than have sex.” As for the explicit sex in the show. . .I don’t know what the problem is. So, it’s out on the end of the spectrum of TV show sex. And? The show is about the sexual relationships of couples. I think that showing them having sex is relevant. In the framework of the show, it wasn’t misplaced. It was prevalent and prominent, but not gratuitous. Are the haters here married? I can’t imagine this show would appeal as much people who aren’t in long term serious (probably marital) relationships. ---
**Author:** ![JXJohns](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jxjohns/32/469_2.png) [@JXJohns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JXJohns)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/8 "2007-09-10T16:54:01Z")
[QUOTE=Trunk] What are you, 12? [/quote] No, it seemed forced and leaning more towards “Look, old people are doing it hee hee” > [@](#): > > As for the explicit sex in the show. . .I don’t know what the problem is. So, it’s out on the end of the spectrum of TV show sex. And? No problem here except in my experience, a quickie at mom’s house DURING dinner does not usually require me to get completely undressed. Even my wife called BS on that one. > [@](#): > > Are the haters here married? I can’t imagine this show would appeal as much people who aren’t in long term serious (probably marital) relationships. Yes I am married and I watched the show with my wife. Perhaps it was the fact that she and I had difficulty conceiving our first child that I was hoping to identify with the similar couple on the show. Instead, I saw two selfish people who are in no way prepared to be parents. They looked good having sex so perhaps that was the focus of the show instead. She can ovulate and the exam she got (While wearing her pumps in the exam table stirrups -Wife calling BS again) seemed to be ok as well. I predict “daddy to be” agonizing over making a “deposit” and then questioning whether he really wants to have kids, especially since it is so hard getting it up for his wife. Either that or “mommy to be” headin down the path of a sperm donor without his knowledge. There is some drama for ya… This show has been done before on about every long running sitcom. The only difference is that they have thrown in sme low grade porn to make it interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/9 "2007-09-10T17:13:20Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] (allegedly, there’s going to be some fake penetration shots of prosthetic vaginas in later episodes). [/QUOTE] Y’know, this may in fact be the stupidest goddamn thing I’ve ever heard. No, scratch that, this is the most retarded goddamn thing I’ve ever heard of. And I’ve read lot of Oliver Sacks…and books that have “Secret” and “Luftwaffe” in the title. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/10 "2007-09-10T17:34:42Z")
[QUOTE=Trunk] And, who hasn’t sometimes just thought, “man, I’d rather just spank it tonight, than have sex.” [/qUOTE] _raises hand_ _thinks, then raises both hands to prove it_ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/11 "2007-09-10T18:04:42Z")
[QUOTE=Trunk] What are you, 12? [/quote] You don’t have to be 12 to be repelled by the sight of old people having sex. That’s just not an erotic sight. I thought it was gross. I actually had to FF through that part. > [@](#): > > Not that I talk so frankly about my friends and their sex lifes, but I thought the couple who had stopped having sex rang true. Not to me. Guys just don’t lose all interest in sex unless there’s something physically wrong with them. That character was not believable to me. > [@](#): > > I can see the seeds of that in some relationships I know. And, who hasn’t sometimes just thought, “man, I’d rather just spank it tonight, than have sex.” I haven’t. > [@](#): > > As for the explicit sex in the show. . .I don’t know what the problem is. So, it’s out on the end of the spectrum of TV show sex. And? Like I said, I think it undermines the pretense that it wants to be a serious drama. There’s nothing wrong with porn, but they could at least make the attempt to give us _good_ porn. The scenes I saw last night were neither erotic nor “authentic” (the dinner party sex, the car sex…total bullshit). The prosthetics are just gimmicky and lame and actually undercut the porn. > [@](#): > > The show is about the sexual relationships of couples. I think that showing them having sex is relevant. In the framework of the show, it wasn’t misplaced. It was prevalent and prominent, but not gratuitous. Really? It was crucial to the plot to show a woman masturbating a squirting dildo? What was that scene telling us that could not have been shown any other way? > [@](#): > > Are the haters here married? I can’t imagine this show would appeal as much people who aren’t in long term serious (probably marital) relationships. I’m married. When I was watching it, I had the sense that it was written by people who did NOT know anything about marriage. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/12 "2007-09-10T18:07:23Z")
[QUOTE=Trunk] What are you, 12? [/QUOTE] **Trunk** – gratuitous insults are NOT permitted in this forum. In fact, NO personal insults are permitted in this forum. Those in doubt: Please see [Guidelines and Etiquette on the Straight Dope Message Boards](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=384745), noting Post #2 in that thread. And also please see [Forum Rules](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=343601) and note especially Post #3. You have been warned about this before, like three days ago. I strongly suggest that you learn from your errors. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/13 "2007-09-10T19:18:35Z")
> [@Diogenese the Cynic](#): > > Like I said, I think it undermines the pretense that it wants to be a serious drama. There’s nothing wrong with porn, but they could at least make the attempt to give us good porn. The scenes I saw last night were neither erotic nor “authentic” (the dinner party sex, the car sex…total bullshit). The prosthetics are just gimmicky and lame and actually undercut the porn. I didn’t realize they were prosthetics (although I assumed it), but I didn’t find it lame. The shot at the end was too far away to reveal any flaws in the prosthetics, and earlier in the episode, the young guy’s balls certainly weren’t prosthetics, nor were any of the women’s breasts. As for “undermining the pretense that it wants to be a serious drama”. Sez who? Maybe the drama is getting in the way of some decent soft-core. But, so what. The show is clearly showing a lot more sex than any other show we’ve seen. That’s part of the hook. A lot of people like soft core porn(\*). Of course, this is still a far cry from soft core. A lot of people like drama. So someone is trying out a show that has the two together. You’re writing like it’s some inviolate law of television drama that you can’t show more than “X” amount of sex and this show has broken that rule. [QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Really? It was crucial to the plot to show a woman masturbating a squirting dildo? What was that scene telling us that could not have been shown any other way? [/QUOTE] Crucial? No. But, I think that it further demonstrated the wife’s preoccupation with that which is coming out of his dick. She intentionally jerked him off, instead of having sex because she wanted to look at it. . .as if it would reveal some mystery to her. (\*) And some people like old people porn. Old people having sex is not _ipso facto_ disgusting. I personally found that lady somewhat attractive. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/14 "2007-09-10T20:10:22Z")
I found the show to be tedious. My girlfriend hated it. A show about disfunctional people is fine as long as it’s funny. So far I have only seen shitty reviews for this show and reviewers typically get to see the first four episodes. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/15 "2007-09-10T20:14:15Z")
> [@](#): > > You don’t have to be 12 to be repelled by the sight of old people having sex. That’s just not an erotic sight. I thought it was gross. I actually had to FF through that part. Yeah, it’s getting so that I have to shut my eyes (or kill the lights) anymore so that the sight of my own decrepit body doesn’t turn me off. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/16 "2007-09-10T20:45:19Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Yeah, it’s getting so that I have to shut my eyes (or kill the lights) anymore so that the sight of my own decrepit body doesn’t turn me off. [/QUOTE] I wouldn’t want to see a video of myself having sex either. ---
**Author:** ![Phantom\_Dennis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/51bf81/32.png) [@Phantom\_Dennis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phantom_Dennis)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/17 "2007-09-10T21:14:42Z")
Prosthetics? You mean like fake penises and stuff? So they don’t have to show the real thing? What the hell? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![gazpacho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@gazpacho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gazpacho)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/18 "2007-09-10T22:18:50Z")
[QUOTE=Phantom Dennis] Prosthetics? You mean like fake penises and stuff? So they don’t have to show the real thing? What the hell? :eek: [/QUOTE] No the dicks are real it is the foreheads that are prosthetics. ---
**Author:** ![Carnick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carnick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnick)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/19 "2007-09-11T04:07:41Z")
A bunch of white, upscale yuppies whining about their self-absorbed lives. Way to target your core audience, HBO. Too bad this show is lamer than a prosthetic dick. And you call that a cum shot? ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671/20 "2007-09-11T12:27:55Z")
We must have been watching a different show. None of what I saw was prurient; it was extremely frank stuff about moments in life that most of us can relate to, but that are usually not shown. The party-sex and car-sex scenes were, judging by my experience, entirely believable. Jane Alexander is a hot granny. I guess the producers were counting on an audience of sufficient certain emotional maturity not to react with “Ew! Old people touching each other!” If a physically health married couple stop having sex, it’s not because the man has lost interest in sex _per se_. There are lots of things that can go wrong in a relationship that may get in the way of having a sex life. Edited to correct syntax. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-you-love-me-pretentious-porn-new-hbo-show/418671.md?page=2)