# Tell server of mistake? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 23, 2019, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-server-of-mistake/831420 "2019-03-23T18:03:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2019, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-server-of-mistake/831420/21 "2019-03-24T15:48:15Z")
8 minutes + the time it takes to go get the drink is an eternity if you’re sitting there with hot food rapidly getting not-hot and you have nothing to drink with it. I’d be pissed. I want my drink WITH my food, not afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2019, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-server-of-mistake/831420/22 "2019-03-24T16:30:02Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > 8 minutes + the time it takes to go get the drink is an eternity if you’re sitting there with hot food rapidly getting not-hot and you have nothing to drink with it. I’d be pissed. I want my drink WITH my food, not afterwards. :rolleyes: Holy fuck. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2019, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-server-of-mistake/831420/23 "2019-03-24T17:28:40Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > 8 minutes? If your server cannot respond because they are dealing with another customer (or any other reason), why isn’t another server picking up? This is NOT the server’s problem; rather it’s the restaurant’s problem. In my experience, servers are generally assigned to a certain area, and do get to be a little bit, I’m not sure if the word “territorial” is quite right, but typically, only one server gets a table. In the event of flagging down another server, usually what will happen, in my experience in most restaurants, is that server will flag down your server. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2019, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-server-of-mistake/831420/24 "2019-03-24T18:17:38Z")
generally a server makes a table check soon after food is served. if another server made the alert on your behalf then they know they missed this check. Chatty customers are a server’s curse. Food servers always look like their swimming upstream to me so I’m pretty flexible. Tip as you see fit. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2019, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-server-of-mistake/831420/25 "2019-03-25T11:18:27Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > 8 minutes? If your server cannot respond because they are dealing with another customer (or any other reason), why isn’t another server picking up? This is NOT the server’s problem; rather it’s the restaurant’s problem. US servers are extremely territorial about their tables; it’s not so much that they won’t cover up for another one, it’s that they don’t even think about it nor are they expected to. You might as well ask why don’t I answer my telephone in Mongolian. It’s one of the big differences in service expectations between the US and Europe. To the OP, how is she supposed to know what the problem was? Use your words! What you did is equivalent to those people who flash their lights at someone else whose own lights are correct: we don’t know if you’re flashing because you dislike our car, because you like our license plate, because there’s heavy traffic up ahead or because your dog bumped your elbow. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2019, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-server-of-mistake/831420/26 "2019-03-25T12:04:49Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > Honestly seems like some people would prefer slaves to serve their food. > … > That massively inconvenient 8 minute delay is partly on you. How do you figure? The server’s entire job is to assure that their customers’ needs are met in a timely fashion; a server who isn’t at least laying eyes on each table in their zone every couple of minutes is not very good at their job. If a customer has to get up from their table to catch the server’s attention after eight minutes of the server being totally absorbed in a casual conversation with another customer, then the server is not doing their job. It’s not a matter of slavery; _this is what servers are paid to do._ All of the above assumes the restaurant is not short-staffed at the time. If they are short-staffed, then the server may have a workload that is far beyond reasonable, in which case the server is not to blame. That said, a customer can usually see the difference between a server who is scrambling to handle twice their normal workload and a server who is eschewing their duties in favor of idle chat with coworkers or other customers. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2019, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-server-of-mistake/831420/27 "2019-03-25T13:30:47Z")
> [@Bill\_Door](#): > > My attitude would be that I’m not paid to evaluate or train waitstaff. Enough low tips and she’ll learn or quit. This. I tip well and am often a repeat customer. If I do not have a good experience, I take my business elsewhere _unless there is a good reason._ I recently was enjoying a few beers at a bar. The bartender saw that my glass was empty and made anxious eye contact with me about it, but continued talking to someone, and then typed out a long text. After about a 20 minute delay she came over and got me a beer, mouthing “Thank You”. Later, during a lull, she told me about some drama going on in her life. Then she gave me a five minute shoulder massage. I tipped well. ---
**Author:** ![jaycat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat/32/3015_2.png) [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2019, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-server-of-mistake/831420/28 "2019-03-26T02:28:27Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > . . .Then she gave me a five minute shoulder massage. I tipped well. You mean you didn’t sue her for sexual harassment? Wake up man! This is the 21st century. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2019, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-server-of-mistake/831420/29 "2019-03-26T12:08:58Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > To the OP, how is she supposed to know what the problem was? Use your words! What you did is equivalent to those people who flash their lights at someone else whose own lights are correct: we don’t know if you’re flashing because you dislike our car, because you like our license plate, because there’s heavy traffic up ahead or because your dog bumped your elbow. Around here it’s either because someone thinks your brights are on, to warn of deer in the roadway or a concealed cop car looking to hand out speeding tickets. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2019, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-server-of-mistake/831420/30 "2019-03-26T17:02:14Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Around here it’s either because someone thinks your brights are on, to warn of deer in the roadway or a concealed cop car looking to hand out speeding tickets. Yeah, that’s the only things it can mean around here if you’re getting brights flashed by someone in the opposite lane and your lights are correctly set (typically, the latter in my urban setting, but it means more generally “look out ahead.”) Now, flashing brights can mean other things in other contexts, but context disambiguates them. It’s a general “alert” sign. I can’t think of a time being confused by what it meant. Now, I have occasionally mistaken a brights flashing for me, when it was intended to alert someone near me about their headlight status, but the usage meant “check your lights,” it just wasn’t meant for me. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2019, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-server-of-mistake/831420/31 "2019-03-28T02:46:07Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Around here it’s either because someone thinks your brights are on, to warn of deer in the roadway or a concealed cop car looking to hand out speeding tickets. It can also mean there’s a broken down car in their lane or kids or dogs playing in the road too, but yeah, it really only means they need to be cautious of something. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-server-of-mistake/831420.md?page=1)