# Tell the Funniest Joke You Know... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 15, 2019, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-funniest-joke-you-know/835549 "2019-06-15T06:58:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![zimaane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a3d4f5/32.png) [@zimaane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zimaane)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2019, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-funniest-joke-you-know/835549/61 "2019-06-17T19:31:23Z")
An atom of helium goes into a bar The bartender says loudly, “Hey buddy, get out! We don’t serve noble gases here!” Doesn’t react ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2019, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-funniest-joke-you-know/835549/62 "2019-06-17T19:32:54Z")
> [@Toledo\_Jim](#): > > “Somebody stole our tent!” This was [scientifically identified](https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2001/dec/20/humanities.research) as the world’s funniest joke. > [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > […]let’s stay away from rape jokes, please. s/rape/seduce/ > [@Snake\_Plissken](#): > > I can’t tell the jokes because they’re too dirty…but here are the punchlines: > […] > Joke #2: “Because ol’ Wong; he don’t go for that shit, either!” > […] First, no such thing here as too dirty (though there are some that are too offensive). Second, I found this joke in a SDMB thread from 2003 called [Funniest Joke You Know](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/archive/index.php/t-215284.html). ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2019, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-funniest-joke-you-know/835549/63 "2019-06-17T19:51:59Z")
A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he’s found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says “It looks like you blew a seal.” “No no,” the penguin replies, “it’s just ice cream.” ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2019, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-funniest-joke-you-know/835549/64 "2019-06-17T22:15:45Z")
Did you hear about the new anti-erectile dysfunction drug, Mycoxaflopin? (That’s my favorite joke in the category of appropriateness because the word is formed _exactly_ like the name of a drug.) ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2019, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-funniest-joke-you-know/835549/65 "2019-06-17T22:19:23Z")
> [@HubZilla](#): > > How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? > > Two. One to change the bulb, the other to SUCK MY DICK. Aw, come on. After all the mod notes and discussions about making the boards welcome to all, you thought this would get a laugh? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2019, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-funniest-joke-you-know/835549/66 "2019-06-17T22:35:48Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Aw, come on. After all the mod notes and discussions about making the boards welcome to all, you thought this would get a laugh? :rolleyes: The joke is making fun of anti-feminist jerks. Though you really have to know the teller to be able to tell if it’s that or they ARE the anti-feminist jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2019, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-funniest-joke-you-know/835549/67 "2019-06-17T22:40:07Z")
Why can’t they be both, like the late Earl Warren? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2019, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-funniest-joke-you-know/835549/68 "2019-06-17T22:41:18Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > The joke is making fun of anti-feminist jerks. Though you really have to know the teller to be able to tell if it’s that or they ARE the anti-feminist jerk. I thought this thread was for the funniest jokes. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2019, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-funniest-joke-you-know/835549/69 "2019-06-17T22:45:47Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > I thought this thread was for the funniest jokes. That’s been proven to be untrue from the very first post. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2019, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-funniest-joke-you-know/835549/70 "2019-06-18T00:04:25Z")
**Moderator Action** > [@HubZilla](#): > > How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? > > Two. One to change the bulb, the other to SUCK MY DICK. Depending on who is telling the joke, this is either making fun of anti-feminists, or it is an attack on feminists. The latter possible interpretation makes the joke extremely inappropriate, especially given recent ATMB discussions. This is supposed to be a fun thread. It’s not supposed to be the type of thread that generates numerous post reports. Since we apparently have too many folks here who don’t understand the point of a funny joke thread, this, unfortunately, is closed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-funniest-joke-you-know/835549.md?page=3)