# Tell the teacher, or fight back? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 2, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-teacher-or-fight-back/627027 "2012-07-02T20:15:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2012, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-teacher-or-fight-back/627027/41 "2012-07-04T03:27:39Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > I noticed the people who tend to be the most sullen/bitter in school/work were people who wanted their teacher/boss/etc to fight all their battles for them- they felt like the other person had to jump in to save the day like Superman, and if they didn’t notice/didn’t do anything/blamed them, they were some sort of traitor, and it made the person feel even more weak and helpless. When you learn to defend yourself (verbally, physically, etc) you learn to count on yourself to succeed in difficult situations, and I think this is empowering. I had to defend myself; it just increased my rage and didn’t feel in the slightest bit “empowering”. Feeling completely on your own, knowing that you are surrounded by nothing but people who are either enemies or indifferent is _not_ “empowering”. It just made me hate them all. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2012, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-teacher-or-fight-back/627027/42 "2012-07-04T07:55:41Z")
My personal experience is that telling a teacher worked. I’ve never understood all these people who apparently had teachers who didn’t give a crap. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2012, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-teacher-or-fight-back/627027/43 "2012-07-04T08:03:36Z")
As for violence: I don’t think I ever saw that in the bullying form. Violence was between equals–both sides being the idiots who actually thought violence was okay. These were the people everyone looked down upon. ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2012, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-teacher-or-fight-back/627027/44 "2012-07-04T08:11:10Z")
> [@iftheresaway](#): > > What happens when you try this strategy, but it turns out that the bully is a much better fighter than you? I was occasionally given this advice (“Just stand up to the, they’ll back down”), but it never seemed all that practical. They were both bigger, meaner, with a tougher reputation. One had a knife. I still beat the crap out of him. I had just had _enough_. I actually think it may have done him some good, in an odd way. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2012, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-teacher-or-fight-back/627027/45 "2012-07-05T15:44:06Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > My personal experience is that telling a teacher worked. I’ve never understood all these people who apparently had teachers who didn’t give a crap. You’ve never understood just because your personal experience is that your telling teachers worked. You were fortunate. I think the OP needs one more option: Fight back, kick bully’s butt, then tell teacher. (Not mentioning your defense). ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2012, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-teacher-or-fight-back/627027/46 "2012-07-05T15:49:55Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > The best course IMHO is to tell first, then fight back if the problem is not handled by the adults. Teachers and staff are there to ensure such problems don’t occur. If they fail to do their jobs then there is no reason to let another person abuse you. Exactly what I came in to post. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2012, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-teacher-or-fight-back/627027/47 "2012-07-05T17:13:36Z")
There needs to be an option for BOTH. If a child is bullied or knows of another kid being bullied, the child needs to tell an adult. If the bullying becomes aggressive, children need to know how to defend themselves. And if the school is stupid enough to try to punish children for being the victim of an attack and defending themselves, the parents need to get a lawyer and rain down the wrath of the ghods on the school management as well as the school board that implemented the moronic zero tolerance policy in the first place. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-the-teacher-or-fight-back/627027.md?page=2)