Wow, I had also thought to myself before, “If I go blind, I don’t want to live anymore.” Amputation is something I felt I could live with; not blindness.
My wife has them all. And believe me, I suffer.
My mother gave me that book back (ha!) when all this was happening. It did help me pinpoint the cause. I’ve never had sciatica that bad since then.
When I felt that way, I was motivated by my fear of dependency on others. Well, that and cowardice.