# Tell us about your first threesome. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 17, 2003, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656 "2003-11-17T06:27:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/21 "2003-11-17T19:37:34Z")
Does anyone think of sex as more than a recreational activity anymore? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/22 "2003-11-17T20:04:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Soapbox Monkey \* > Does anyone think of sex as more than a recreational activity anymore? A couple members of a committed “threesome” post to this board; was that more along the lines of what you expected when you opened a thread that mentioned threesomes in its title? A dozen or so responses (so far) are hardly evidence that it’s rampant. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/23 "2003-11-17T20:26:51Z")
I’ve had threesomes. It wasn’t a good situation so they were very bad for me. I’d consider having them again but the situation would have to be 100% different. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/24 "2003-11-17T20:35:52Z")
Soapbox monkey, you do realize there’s a difference between sex and making love, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/25 "2003-11-17T20:51:35Z")
I’ve only had one so far, but it was brilliant. We were all friends (lesbians), and we had half-planned it. We spent the first half of the evening rolling around hysterical with laughter, and the second half rolling around with each other 😃 No-one got left out, each enjoyed watching the others, and the number of hands seemed just right. I want another one of those for Christmas please, Santa. ---
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/26 "2003-11-17T21:02:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kalhoun \* > \*\*Soapbox monkey, you do realize there’s a difference between sex and making love, don’t you? \*\* Yes, but I would still never have either unless the person was a SO. And if I knew that my current SO or SO-to-be had participated in such activity it would be a deal breaker. ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/27 "2003-11-17T22:09:15Z")
Any tips regarding threesomes ? If I am “invited” to join a couple.,(I’m male) are there any “etiquette” tips I should follow ? I can imagine I should be quite respectful of the woman… and certainly not take too much initiative… let ideas flow from her rather than “suggest” stuff myself ? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/28 "2003-11-17T22:19:37Z")
Soapbox, I hope you don’t fall in love with an adventurous girl/guy! ---
**Author:** ![CrazyMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee59a6/32.png) [@CrazyMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyMonkey)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/29 "2003-11-17T22:19:52Z")
> [@](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by Indygrrl_ > > I spent the night in bed with a friend of mine and her b/f. We all messed around, but no penetration occurred. Tame, I know. haha. > > _Originally posted by misstee_ > Me too, back in highschool. Did anybody else just envision an **Indygrrl** / **misstee** “OMIGOD, was that _you_?!?” moment? ---
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/30 "2003-11-17T22:20:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kalhoun \* > \*\*Soapbox, I hope you don’t fall in love with an adventurous girl/guy! \*\* I hope so too.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/31 "2003-11-17T22:23:44Z")
Dude, **Soapbox Monkey** , this is one reason why you seem to have trouble dating and meeting people (as you have talked about at great length in other threads). You have set such high standards for others in your mind that nobody will ever be good enough for you. And you don’t seem to be willing to budge an inch in your staunch moral stances–which in itself is fine–but realize you will be distancing yourself more from very interesting and perfectly nice women. As for me, never had a threesome. I fantasize about them quite a bit, but the circumstances would have to be comfortable for everyone involved for it to really ever happen. ---
**Author:** ![Anal\_Scurvy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@Anal\_Scurvy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anal_Scurvy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/32 "2003-11-17T22:40:08Z")
One of my first girlfriends and her best friend. It was more like I was brought into the group, though, because she and her best friend were pretty sexual long before I came. \* _insert rimshot_ _insert rimshot for the rimshot_ \* I think threesomes are awesome, I’ve enjoyed them on several occasions. One person needs to be take control until horniness replaces the inevitable awkwardness; if no one’s leading the action then no one will be swept away. My current girlfriend has expressed interest in threesomes, but lately I’ve been feeling too shitty about things in my life to take this anywhere. Usually I’ll go find a girl that I think is hot, talk to her, get her interested in me, then start talking about sex. Eventually I’ll accuse her of being a poser, i.e. “You’re dressed like a bad girl and you talk like a bad girl, but you’re not really a bad girl. You’re a good girl, I can tell. You’ve probably never had a dirty thought in your life.” Then she’ll spend the next few minutes trying to convince me that she’s a bad girl and share some dirty stories. I pretend not to care and ask her if she’s adventurous, because she has to be adventurous to hang out with me. Then she tries to prove she’s adventurous. Finally I say that she has to like girls to hang out with me because I like threesomes. At this moment I will know whether or not she’s a candidate. She just spent ten minutes describing sexy moments to me so she’s kind of worked up and she’s been so busy trying to prove herself to me that coyness is completely gone out the window. If she’s not into girls, I’ll look for someone else. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/33 "2003-11-17T22:45:59Z")
The first one? Gosh. _thinks hard_ I think the first actual threesome I had was a very hot interlude with my ex Éric and this very cute Uzbek boi (be the first on your block!) named Andrei. It was during my first election campaign 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/34 "2003-11-17T23:08:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrazyMonkey \* > Did anybody else just envision an **Indygrrl** / **misstee** “OMIGOD, was that _you_?!?” moment? \*\* OMIGOD, was that _you_, **Indygrrl**? ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/35 "2003-11-18T00:17:52Z")
My first wasn’t so good (way too brief), so I’ll talk about my second. I ran into a friend at a Pride Parade after-party, a guy (hot hot _hot_ guy!) who I’d slept with a couple times before. He was with a few friends and I was with someone, but fast forward a couple hours and we’re on making out on the dance floor, sans shirts. Terribly unclassy I know, but at the party in question (think 2000 boys and a smattering of girls in a nightclub in the wee hours of the morning) it certainly wasn’t out of place. Soon enough, two of his friends joined us and we’re all sucking face and dancing together, taking turns to trade partners. It was rather hot, to say the least. I didn’t go home with them that night (I was with someone else), but in the morning – more accurately, later that morning – I went over. One of the guys had gone home, but the remaining two and I got naked and it was all on, again. Surprisingly, the experience wasn’t awkward in the slightest. Despite the prolonged build-up, we took it slow instead of rushing it. We all had a great time, and a big ol’ laugh (and a beer) when we were done. It was a terribly nice afternoon, really. Jervoise ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/36 "2003-11-18T00:20:22Z")
Oh yeah: c’mon, spill the beans **2trew**! ---
**Author:** ![Stainz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stainz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stainz)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/37 "2003-11-18T00:32:51Z")
It was fun but awkward … I was the extra girl, and didn’t know this couple well enough as it turned out … got weird vibes about halfway through that she actually didn’t really want to share her guy … they ended up breaking up for a while afterwards, plus he started calling ME … What a dog! ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/38 "2003-11-18T00:38:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rashak Mani \* > **Any tips regarding threesomes ? If I am “invited” to join a couple.,(I’m male) are there any “etiquette” tips I should follow?** Just make sure beforehand that everyone involved is comfortable with what’s about to take place (provided you’re planning it and it didn’t just “happen”). Give everybody the out that they can take (including yourself) without feeling guilty. Set some ground rules once everyone is committed (ya gotta know everybody’s boundaries). Tell them that if anything “feels wrong” that they should back off or try something else. If need be, come up with a word or short phrase that anybody can say if they feel really uncomfortable and make sure beforehand that it’s okay to stop at any time, nobody is going to force you/them to go further than they want. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rashak Mani \* > **I can imagine I should be quite respectful of the woman… and certainly not take too much initiative… let ideas flow from her rather than “suggest” stuff myself ?** You should be respectful of _everybody_ involved, including yourself. You suggest some things, she suggests some things, the other person does as well. Let everybody have their turn fulfilling their fantasies. You should come out of it with a great experience. If you don’t, then either it’s not for you or you should approach things differently next time. ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/39 "2003-11-18T02:08:28Z")
thanks Horseflesh… good tips… ---
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656/40 "2003-11-18T02:30:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pablito \* > \*\*I stopped a few yards away and she paused in her ministrations to tell me to ‘join in’, or words to that effect, and lifted her skirt up over her ass while she was bending over. > I needed no further encouragement. \*\* Damn dude, I hope you wore a rubber. A girl that skanky is probably a festering cesspool. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-about-your-first-threesome/213656.md?page=3)