# Tell us how you'd commercialize one of this fantasy-tech inventions. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 5, 2013, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086 "2013-09-05T16:30:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/1 "2013-09-05T16:30:41Z")
Returning from a time-travel trip to 1951 to destroy the 2197 nude photos whose existence, in the previous timeline, prevented [Grace](http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2772769h) [Kelly](http://pearl7diamond.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Grace_Kelly_02..jpg)from marrying Prince Rainier, I decided to stop in Marvel-Comics Earth to get a calzone from this little pizzeria near Central Park that only exists on that Earth. While there, I noticed that there was a huge honking hole in the side of Avengers Mansion, and all the heroes were out fighting Skrulls. Naturally I couldn’t pass up the chance to do a little looting, so I snuck in to [Hank Pym](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hank_Pym)’s lab. There I grabbed a canister of Pym particles and one of his spare ant-control helmets. I was going to head to Stark’s workshop next but then [Jenny Walters](http://www.writeups.org/img/inset/She-Hulk_Jen_early_h3.jpg) crashed in and demanded to know what I was doing, so I chose to make a dignified retreat via teleport with my stolen booty. (And no, I did not pay for the calzone, though I did tip the waitress.) Back at a Rhymer Enterprises base, I put the technomages to work reverse-engineering (and improving) Pym’s inventions so they’d work on our world. I’m happy to announce that we have practical shrinking tech available to be licensed, along with insect/arachnid enslaving tech. (We will be keeping the the enlarging tech for our own purposes.) Twelve lucky Dopers will be allowed access to one or the other – not both – once they convince me they can make use of the devices in question to make a profit. Any takers? Do you want the shrinking tech or the insect/arachnid enslaving tech? Whichever one you choose, what’s your plan to commercialize it? ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/2 "2013-09-05T16:41:06Z")
Can I have some of whatever you’re smoking, instead? You’d have to be stoned not to have gone to Stark’s lab first. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/3 "2013-09-05T16:46:08Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Can I have some of whatever you’re smoking, instead? > > You’d have to be stoned not to have gone to Stark’s lab first. Pym’s lab was nearer to the hole, and there was no telling when some over-muscled do-gooder was going to come back. Besides, everybody knows that Stark does all his research at his own company’s labs; there’s not even any extra armor in Avengers Mansion, just stuff he uses for quick repairs and tinkering. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/4 "2013-09-05T16:54:51Z")
I normally enjoy a good “Skald-a-thetical”, but this one here is a big giant WTF? Anyway, I’ll go with the shrinking stuff ray assuming it also comes with a re-biggening ray and sell it to Space X so they can get more payloads in one haul. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/5 "2013-09-05T17:07:30Z")
I’d be trying to find a way to use the Pym particles to shrink tumors or malignant growths. Once I had a feasibility study, I’d show my proposal to Big Pharm. No reason I can’t make a profit and help people, is there? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/6 "2013-09-05T17:23:05Z")
I’m seeing million dollar mansions occupying mere centimeters, shipping companies going out of business once I start my “Ship Anything Anywhere For 99 Cents!” company, and my “Anybody Can Be A Jockey” school will be very popular. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/7 "2013-09-05T17:25:27Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I normally enjoy a good “Skald-a-thetical”, but this one here is a big giant WTF? > Anyway, I’ll go with the shrinking stuff ray assuming it also comes with a re-biggening ray and sell it to Space X so they can get more payloads in one haul. Yep that was my thought too, shrinking ray would be awesome for shipping of anything. (with the same caveat **Shakes** applied) Give the embiggening part to the shipping companies so they can reconstitute for delivery. Sell the shrink rays only to the originating company, NOT to the shippers. Make up some technical gobblygook reason for it but the real reason is to maximize sales 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/8 "2013-09-05T17:27:43Z")
Very Tiny Star Ships ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/9 "2013-09-05T17:41:27Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I normally enjoy a good “Skald-a-thetical”, but this one here is a big giant WTF? > Anyway, I’ll go with the shrinking stuff ray assuming it also comes with a re-biggening ray and sell it to Space X so they can get more payloads in one haul. Of course you get a re-embiggening ray. Bear in mind it only undoes the shrinking; you can’t make anything bigger than normal with it. I’m not trusting you hosers with that. > [@Czarcasm](#): > > I’m seeing million dollar mansions occupying mere centimeters, To make it easier for everyone inside to be killed by army ants? > [@](#): > > shipping companies going out of business once I start my “Ship Anything Anywhere For 99 Cents!” company, and my “Anybody Can Be A Jockey” school will be very popular. Bah. I can’t see dropping a foot in height just to be a jockey. Rather have a bigger horse. > [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > I’d be trying to find a way to use the Pym particles to shrink tumors or malignant growths. Once I had a feasibility study, I’d show my proposal to Big Pharm. No reason I can’t make a profit and help people, is there? As long as it’s in that order, knock yourself out. But Rhymer Enterprises is not on the side of love and happiness, so if you helping the sick I’ll expect you to spread chaos elsewhere. And of course you’ll be expected to discriminate against the non-[Duffy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6UwmJRkjBs) Welsh. > [@aNewLeaf](#): > > Very Tiny Star Ships Starships require FTL tech which you ain’t got, mate. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/10 "2013-09-05T17:42:02Z")
> [@aNewLeaf](#): > > Very Tiny Star Ships With very tiny engines giving out very tiny amounts of energy, propelling the very tiny starships very tiny distances? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/11 "2013-09-05T17:45:51Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > With very tiny engines giving out very tiny amounts of energy, propelling the very tiny starships very tiny distances? So they’re making quantum leaps? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/12 "2013-09-05T17:49:50Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > So they’re making quantum leaps? Since you are one of the few here that actually knows what that phrase means, exactly. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/13 "2013-09-05T17:52:14Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Since you are one of the few here that actually knows what that phrase means, exactly. 😃 “Smallest possible transition.” And just for that you don’t get any cookies. They’re oatmeal today, too. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/14 "2013-09-05T17:57:36Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > “Smallest possible transition.” And just for that you don’t get any cookies. They’re oatmeal today, too. You, _of course_, are also one of the few. Are those cookies with, or without, raisins? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/15 "2013-09-05T17:58:58Z")
How 'bout privatizing overcrowded prisons by reducing the size of the prisoners? Any money to be made there? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/16 "2013-09-05T18:01:48Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > How 'bout privatizing overcrowded prisons by reducing the size of the prisoners? Any money to be made there? Thus removing any incentive for parole or reasonable sentencing? I don’t think I like that. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/17 "2013-09-05T18:02:02Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > You, _of course_, are also one of the few. > Are those cookies with, or without, raisins? 625 without raisins, 256 with. > [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > How 'bout privatizing overcrowded prisons by reducing the size of the prisoners? Any money to be made there? YOU tell ME. What’s your plan. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/18 "2013-09-05T18:15:49Z")
While everyone else is bidding up the price of the shrink ray, I’ll quietly place a bid on the ant-control helmet. Assuming I can replicate the things, I revolutionize agriculture with my hives of ants that sow seeds, kill pests, and harvest crops. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/19 "2013-09-05T18:17:59Z")
How much do you think a pocket supercollider would go for? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086/20 "2013-09-05T18:28:32Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > How 'bout privatizing overcrowded prisons by reducing the size of the prisoners? Any money to be made there? Yeah but then you’d have to find lobbyist to lobby congress to pass ridiculous laws ensuring that said prisons would stay full. I’m pretty sure pond scum like that doesn’t exist. And even if they did, it’s not like lawmakers would actually pass such ridiculous laws. Right? 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-how-youd-commercialize-one-of-this-fantasy-tech-inventions/668086.md?page=2)