# Tell us why you are the (third) greatest Doper of them all. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 15, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-are-the-third-greatest-doper-of-them-all/463721 "2008-09-15T17:53:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-are-the-third-greatest-doper-of-them-all/463721/81 "2008-09-18T00:43:50Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > . . . or even ole what’s-his-name, with all the monkeys. What, me? No, I insist that there must be at least one or two others who rank above me. I sit at a respectable seven, and I’m happy to remain there. Unless of course you mean that _other_ guy with the monkeys? I don’t remember exactly who he was, but I don’t think we’ve missed him since he’s been gone, whoever he was. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-are-the-third-greatest-doper-of-them-all/463721/82 "2008-09-18T01:05:37Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Fortunately I am still posting by time-travel relay from January 1889 in Austria-Hungary. I’d be back already, but I still haven’t decided whether to do Klara Pölzl in. You do realize you’ve just made it easy for me to pinpoint your location, right? In the interest of not disturbing the timestream I’ve only sent back a token of my abilities. Yeah, that flaming bag of monkey shit on your doorstep was mine. It probably didn’t have a virus specifically engineered for your DNA and chronological fingerprint. Probably. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-are-the-third-greatest-doper-of-them-all/463721/83 "2008-09-18T01:33:49Z")
> [@Dr. PoopiePants](#): > > Correction, my name is _ **DR.** _ Poopiepants. > > …’nough said, indeed, sweetheart. > > Next! Oh, puleese! D’ya know how many **DR PoopiePants** I’ve known? It’s so common, it’s not worth mentioning. You can’t be #3 unless you change your name. There are rules about things. [sub]fellow Dopers–may I suggest a coup de’tat? Scaldy and Ms Tigger are busy duking it out over in Austria. We could do a major power grab right now! Sshh–no one will ever know…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-are-the-third-greatest-doper-of-them-all/463721/84 "2008-09-18T12:54:03Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Oh, puleese! D’ya know how many **DR PoopiePants** I’ve known? It’s so common, it’s not worth mentioning. You can’t be #3 unless you change your name. There are rules about things. Ah, no doubt you refer to my illustrious Uncle, Dr. Percy Poopiepants the prominent parapsychologist from Pittsburgh, or perhaps my dad, Poppy Poopiepants, Poughkeepsie’s premiere proctologist. In any case, I haven’t been a “Mr.” for at least, oh, 3 series 7 BMW’s, 2 trophy wives and a white collar crime indictment, ago—let’s keep it straight, toots. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-are-the-third-greatest-doper-of-them-all/463721/85 "2008-09-18T13:36:45Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > And since spoilers are over, it’s Irving, the 142nd fastest gun in the West. I think I am the only person who got that reference. The old comedy song about big fat gunfighter, right? A quick Google shows link to different performances of it - here is one where the sound loads when you click on the page: [http://www.stinalisa.com/Irving.html](http://www.stinalisa.com/Irving.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-are-the-third-greatest-doper-of-them-all/463721.md?page=4)