# Tell us why you will be banned under the new rules **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 24, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253 "2009-02-24T19:22:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/21 "2009-02-24T19:39:34Z")
I’m really going to miss posting here. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/22 "2009-02-24T19:40:12Z")
I will make reference to a certain telemarketer thread, and I will then be bent over and gently caressed. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/23 "2009-02-24T19:41:05Z")
For Pitting puppies for being so cute and fuzzy wuzzy and neglecting to mention how good they taste in a casserole. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/24 "2009-02-24T19:41:22Z")
Once there was a place called Camelot, where there was spanking and oral sex… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/25 "2009-02-24T19:42:01Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > pussification of the FUCKING Pit is capricious, stupid, and fucking ridiculous. Hey, I got this card once in _Candyland_. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/26 "2009-02-24T19:42:41Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Because the OP doesn’t so much link to the new rules, let alone summarize them, however briefly, but merely assumes that any damn fool knows them. I don’t, so I may very well run afoul of them. No thanks to you, you blithe, smug twit of an OP. And you’d be banned for calling the OP a “blithe, smug twit”. For all I know, you’ll be banned right now for saying that. As for me; I’ve probably at some point referred to people in the Pit by terms that could be considered insulting. ---
**Author:** ![Atomicflea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/58956e/32.png) [@Atomicflea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomicflea)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/27 "2009-02-24T19:42:59Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Hey, I got this card once in _Candyland_. Careful, this isn’t your diary. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/28 "2009-02-24T19:43:09Z")
Because I have a really nasty temper, and a really creative way with insults (remember the rusty meat hook with the emu feces?) ☹ Question-is UNfuck you allowed? ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/29 "2009-02-24T19:43:21Z")
> [@Khampelf](#): > > I’m likely to be banned for aggravated egregious punning. > > Or trolling, if I ever speak of my private life again. Is your private life really that interesting? ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/30 "2009-02-24T19:44:10Z")
Because I refuse to accept that crude vituperation cannot be creative given the proper circumstance. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/31 "2009-02-24T19:45:27Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Because the OP doesn’t so much link to the new rules, let alone summarize them, however briefly, but merely assumes that any damn fool knows them. I don’t, so I may very well run afoul of them. No thanks to you, you blithe, smug twit of an OP. I am neither blithe nor smug. I am frequently insolent, occasionally hot-headed, uniformly silly, reliably predantic, and formerly guilty of threatening to nuke entire cities from orbit, just to be sure, but I am neither of those things. I have no defense to the ‘twit’ remark. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/32 "2009-02-24T19:47:36Z")
Basically there _is_ no Pit anymore. The new rules aren’t minor changes. At the very least the forum description needs to reflect the changes. Actually they’d might as well just shut it down. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/33 "2009-02-24T19:48:39Z")
I wonder if the intent is to chase the relatively low number of the smart people (with sharp tongues and sharper wit) off in order to get a bigger number of idiots which of course, equals more $$$ for CL. Really, there is nothing broken that needs a fix, I wonder what’s driving it, honestly. Because it’s really a chicken$@|& mother f&$(ing @$$hole thing trying to impose these “rules” on grown people, some of who pay to be here. I may get banned for that ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Joe\_Meager](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bb73d2/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Joe\_Meager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Joe_Meager)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/34 "2009-02-24T19:54:04Z")
For gratuitously exploiting a loophole. (Thanks **XJETGIRLX**!!!) > [@Pit rules have been revised](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-rules-have-been-revised/487256/1): > > 1. No abusive remarks directed at other posters. Basically this means you can’t tell another poster to fuck off (or similar). Fuck me. Fuck me!!! fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckme _FUCK ME!!_ (fuck me) Fuckez-moi!!! Ah… fuck. Me. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/35 "2009-02-24T19:56:41Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Joe\_Meager](#): > > For gratuitously exploiting a loophole. (Thanks **XJETGIRLX**!!!) > > Fuck me. > > Fuck me!!! > > fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckme > > _FUCK ME!!_ > > (fuck me) > > Fuckez-moi!!! > > Ah… fuck. Me. I can’t handle that personally, but I will be happy to teleport you over a couple of hookers as soon as you specify your gender, hair color, race, body type, and virgin/non-virgin preferences. All hookers will be over 21, of course, and any virginity consist of surgcally reconstructed hymens. I am not a monster. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/36 "2009-02-24T19:58:42Z")
Reported. Reported. reportedreportedreported. _Reported!_ (reported). Reportez-vous! Ah…reported. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Parker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@Richard\_Parker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Parker)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/37 "2009-02-24T19:59:55Z")
Report-Ed? I see the beginnings of a new slogan of rebellion. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/38 "2009-02-24T20:01:00Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Reported. Reported. reportedreportedreported. _Reported!_ (reported). Reportez-vous! Ah…reported. You’ll pay for this, Superman. Oh, how you’ll pay. :: prints out invoice :: To be precise, you’ll pay $98.71 (with tax). I accept Visa & Mastercard, but not Amex and FOR DAMN SURE not Discover. Or cookies. You can always pay in ginger snaps. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/39 "2009-02-24T20:01:51Z")
I’m not clear on the new rules, but I suspect I’ll be banned because I often don’t wear pants while posting. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Joe\_Meager](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bb73d2/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Joe\_Meager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Joe_Meager)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/40 "2009-02-24T20:03:14Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Reported. You are using this word incorrectly. “port” is short for “teleport”, which \*\*Skald \*\*offered to do with the aforementioned hookers. “report” means “to teleport again” “reported” is the past tense of “report” So in your post you informed us that, in the past, you re-teleported something. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253.md?page=3)