# Tell us why you will be banned under the new rules **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 24, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253 "2009-02-24T19:22:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/81 "2009-02-24T22:24:12Z")
The way this is going it may become very boring. And Boring things make me cry softly. So I suspect that my exit will occur - Not with a ban but a whimper. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/82 "2009-02-24T22:24:46Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I’m drunk! I’m Brian Fellow! ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/83 "2009-02-24T22:26:33Z")
I will be banned because someday I will forget if “Fuck you” is abusive and “You asswipe” is merely insulting, or if it’s the other way around. But I will be far from the first. Ed, this is fucking ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/84 "2009-02-24T22:28:48Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > I won’t be. I’m not emotionally invested enough in message board posts to flame people over them(there was once a time when I was, but that was many years ago). I mainly read the pit to keep myself current on outrageous stories and to get some good laughs. > > That having been said, I’m on record as saying I disagree with the changes being made to the pit rules because if everyone was like me, damn what a fucking boring piece of white-bread toast with nonfat spread half scraped over it the world would be. Reading some of the bullshit you people spew has caused significant damage to my paradigm clutch and my brain bleach bills may qualify me for Federal bail out money. Some seriously fucked up people post some of the craziest shit, and then some whole other batch of assholes come up and make them look like the kid in fourth grade who always wore the bike helmet. Soon the train is completely off the tracks and burrowing it’s way into the bowels of the earth. Particularly if some of the pet topics are involved. The best part is that most of the posters mean it. Fuck if that doesn’t make my head spin. How someone could give half a shit about some of the dumbass things that cause trainwrecks around here is beyond me, but it’s stretching my capabilities of comprehension. Coming here is like a workout for my moral outrage meter and opportunity to remodel the sub-basement my opinion of humanity resides in at the same time. > > I love you fuckers. Don’t ever change. > > Enjoy, > Steven Word. (Many, actually.) _Everyone step aboard the Entertainment Value Express, now headed down, down, down…!_ ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/85 "2009-02-24T22:43:05Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Dude! I’m not setting lesbians on fire! You think I’m MADE of lesbians or something? Yes, I’ve always pictured you as a mighty-thewed collossus made out of lesbians and silken rope. Also a mustache. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/86 "2009-02-24T22:53:15Z")
I’m usually a fairly easy-going person, and I try to keep things interesting instead of just venting, but FUCK. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/87 "2009-02-24T22:55:13Z")
Please note Ed’s comments here: [Pit rules have been revised - About This Message Board - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=508033) Do y’all seriously think that not being able to tell other posters to fuck off means the death of the Pit? Do you really think that you are unable to insult other posters within bounds of reasonable civility? Ed comments in that thread that we fight wars, killing people, with rules of behavior… you truly think we can’t have them in the Pit? I also want to point out that mods have never, ever been able to read every post. It’s not a question of “Can I use this word but not that word?” … it will usually depend on context. And, Ed has also made clear that we’re not going to be banning or even warning (at least, not while we’re all getting used to the new limitations) – mods will just be telling you to cool things down if you too hot. Repeated failure to follow moderator instruction is another story. So, this thread title “why you will be banned under the new rules” is pretty misleading. The only way (pretty much) that you’ll be banned under the new rules is if moderators tell you to tone it down in a certain thread, and you persist. And that was true under the old rules, too. I also note that there’s been very little comment about the other changes. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/88 "2009-02-24T23:04:24Z")
> [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > Please note Ed’s comments here: [Pit rules have been revised - About This Message Board - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=508033) > > Do y’all seriously think that not being able to tell other posters to fuck off means the death of the Pit? Do you really think that you are unable to insult other posters within bounds of reasonable civility? Ed comments in that thread that we fight wars, killing people, with rules of behavior… you truly think we can’t have them in the Pit? > > I also want to point out that mods have never, ever been able to read every post. It’s not a question of “Can I use this word but not that word?” … it will usually depend on context. And, Ed has also made clear that we’re not going to be banning or even warning (at least, not while we’re all getting used to the new limitations) – mods will just be telling you to cool things down if you too hot. Repeated failure to follow moderator instruction is another story. So, this thread title “why you will be banned under the new rules” is pretty misleading. The only way (pretty much) that you’ll be banned under the new rules is if moderators tell you to tone it down in a certain thread, and you persist. And that was true under the old rules, too. > > I also note that there’s been very little comment about the other changes. [serious hat] Dex, this is 33% push-the-envelope thread, 33% defuse-the-tension-thread, 33% make fun of Skald thread, and 33% general self-deprecation thread. If we were complaining about the new rules, we’d be in the other thread, which you appear to be paying deliberate inattention to in what I can only call Rhymerian obtuseness. And, by the way, the reason we’re only complaining about the rule 2 is because that’s the one rule we’re annoyed about. [/serious hat] Also, your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. Shall I taunt you a second time? ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/89 "2009-02-24T23:09:25Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > [serious hat] > Dex, this is 33% push-the-envelope thread, 33% defuse-the-tension-thread, 33% make fun of Skald thread, and 33% general self-deprecation thread. If we were complaining about the new rules, we’d be in the other thread, which you appear to be paying deliberate inattention to in what I can only call Rhymerian obtuseness. And, by the way, the reason we’re only complaining about the rule 2 is because that’s the one rule we’re annoyed about. > [/serious hat] > > Also, your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. Shall I taunt you a second time? Taunting him a second time won’t do any good. He claims in the ATMB thread that he never visits here. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/90 "2009-02-24T23:12:37Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > You are Spartacus! Or you were, until you started teleporting hookers back in time to fu…copulate with Spartacus’ grandfather, and now you are but a pimp in time, saving none. That’s worthy of capital punnishment, right there. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/91 "2009-02-24T23:13:08Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Taunting him a second time won’t do any good. He claims in the ATMB thread that he never visits here. Both law & custom require me to follow up the “hamster…elderberry” line with the “taunt a second time” line. Had I not done so the universe would have imploded and you would all have perished. As I like the vast majority of you–except for that one guy over there in the back with the suspicious-looking extra nose–I could not allow that. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/92 "2009-02-24T23:17:03Z")
> [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > Do you really think that you are unable to insult other posters within bounds of reasonable civility? I really think Jesus himself would have trouble forming an insult that was within reasonable civility _and_ had the entertainment value of the Pit that we formerly knew and loved but which has now been overshadowed by a sentiment of “if you don’t like it, get the fuck out.” ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/93 "2009-02-24T23:17:18Z")
Reason I’ll be banned? 'cause there are times that simply saying “fuck off” is the exactly right thing to say. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/94 "2009-02-24T23:19:34Z")
Because I like to call people, especially women, “cunts.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/95 "2009-02-24T23:19:34Z")
> [@Telcontar](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally Posted by \*\*Khampelf \*\* > > I’m likely to be banned for aggravated egregious punning. > > > > Or trolling, if I ever speak of my private life again. > > Is your private life really that interesting? Hey Khampelf, I’m curious too. Can you start an “Ask the Troll-Like-Thing-Doer” thread? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/96 "2009-02-24T23:19:52Z")
I’ve seen _The Philadelphia Story_. You’re not fooling me. > [@](#): > > …Ed comments in that thread that we fight wars, killing people, with rules of behavior… you truly think we can’t have them in the Pit?.. Oh? Have we? Or are they more or less merely excuses to hang the losers? And even if that were so, by what galactic stretch of the imagination is verbal abuse comparable to slaughter and mayhem? Please do not cheapen our standards by pretending that jaywalking compares to massacre. No one has to go to the Pit, no one is drafted. If one has delicate sensibilities, one should avoid such places. ---
**Author:** ![raindog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@raindog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raindog)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/97 "2009-02-24T23:19:54Z")
> [@XJETGIRLX](#): > > Because I refuse to accept that crude vituperation cannot be creative given the proper circumstance. In several years I’ve seen precious few such circumstances, and exponentially fewer instances that resulted in ‘creative vituperation.’ ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/98 "2009-02-24T23:21:12Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > And you’d be banned for calling the OP a “blithe, smug twit”. For all I know, you’ll be banned right now for saying that. See what I meant about not knowing the new rules? You can almost taste the absurdity. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/99 "2009-02-24T23:21:27Z")
And I’m committing Onanism like an Oedipus, right now! ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253/100 "2009-02-24T23:22:20Z")
I probably wont get banned, but since the Pit is apparently tamed and the outrage funny was a big reason for me coming here I’ll just stop by less and less, sure we’ll see each other at reunions and what not, but there’ll be less calls to hangout and eventually one day I’ll walk past you guys in the supermarket and not make eye contact 'cause it’s too much trouble to act like I care how you’re all doing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-us-why-you-will-be-banned-under-the-new-rules/487253.md?page=6)