# Tell your wacky customer service stories **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 3, 2009, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190 "2009-03-03T20:33:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/41 "2009-03-04T21:22:46Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > So? A warning from the IRS is also outside the vocabulary of the average user, yet they would call their tax preparer and read what it says, won’t they? And just because you get junk mail that you don’t have to read, you do read the IRS letter. > > Stop what you’re doing? Fine. But how is closing the window without reading it stopping what you’re doing? If you stop what you’re doing, you leave it up! It requires extra effort to hide it. It’s not ‘extra effort’. Clicking ‘OK’ is _exactly_ what they’re normally doing on every dialog box they encounter. The fact that so many ordinary computer users do these same ‘wrong’ things means it’s the user interface which is at fault. I’m reminded of once hearing a conductor, in a moment of frustration, chastising an orchestra with “there’s the same problems in this passage _every time_ I conduct this piece”. I just thought “yeah, and what’s the the common element in all of those situations?” ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/42 "2009-03-04T21:35:20Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > _snip_ > > Dumbass redneck: I’ll have gravy on my mashed potatoes. > Me: Well actually, we don’t have gravy. > Dumbass redneck: Well that’s stupid. I want gravy! Why don’t you have gravy? > Me:…I’m not in charge of the menu, sir. Sorry. > Dumbass redneck: Well tell someone to get gravy. You could have told him you guys were out of brown and white gravy but you still had some yellow gravy left and then drowned the potatoes in butter. 😃 But that probably would have pissed him off more. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/43 "2009-03-04T21:39:22Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > It’s not ‘extra effort’. Clicking ‘OK’ is _exactly_ what they’re normally doing on every dialog box they encounter. I have to agree… I’ve done it myself when having computer difficulties! I think, “oh, goddammit!” and click the error message away, then think, “wait, what did that say?” And then I have to re-create the error message so I can fix it. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/44 "2009-03-04T21:39:55Z")
“How big is a twelve-inch pizza?” ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/45 "2009-03-04T21:43:45Z")
> [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](#): > > “How big is a twelve-inch pizza?” About a foot. Joe ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/46 "2009-03-04T21:51:31Z")
> [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](#): > > “How big is a twelve-inch pizza?” You’d better cut it into six pieces; I don’t think I can eat eight. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/47 "2009-03-04T21:59:04Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > Dumbass redneck: I’ll have gravy on my mashed potatoes. > Me: Well actually, we don’t have gravy. > Dumbass redneck: Well that’s stupid. I want gravy! Why don’t you have gravy? > Me:…I’m not in charge of the menu, sir. Sorry. > Dumbass redneck: Well tell someone to get gravy. You have to admit, serving mashed potatoes without even having gravy as an option _should_ be illegal. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/48 "2009-03-04T23:26:47Z")
> [@SylverOne](#): > > I do the support for a banking website, so I get all sorts of interesting phone calls. The one that sticks out was one of our least tech savvy customers. I was trying to get her to find her IE icon. > > Me: We’re looking for a icon that is a blue ‘e.’ Do you see it? > Cust: No. > Me: OK, what’s currently on your desktop? > Cust: My mouse and keyboard… and a lamp. > Me: _head down on desk_ The customer is not the problem. The problem is with whoever decided to use “desktop” to describe what’s on the computer screen when no programs are running. There was ALREADY an accepted usage of the word or phrase “desktop”, and it should not have another meaning. Desk top should only mean the top of the desk. Things that are on desk tops include papers, telephone, lamp, etc. In fact, this is a deep problem running throughout the technology field. Someone takes a word that already has a standard definition, and then adds another definition on top of that. Bad idea. Bad, bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/49 "2009-03-04T23:28:20Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > You have to admit, serving mashed potatoes without even having gravy as an option _should_ be illegal. Especially considering how easy it is to make gravy. Or open a jar of gravy, for those eating places that don’t carry ingredients, but just warm up stuff that’s been cooked at another location. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/50 "2009-03-04T23:38:50Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Except no one was ever killed by a computer error message. > > However, if your brake light goes on, you don’t say to the repair shop “Something is wrong with my car; one of the dashboard lights came on.” You at least are expected to tell them which one. > > In addition, computer error messages have readable text. Why is it there if not to read it? However, a lot of the time, the first thing to do if you have an error is to close all applications and reboot the machine. An astonishing amount of the time, other than check the connections, it works. Of course, if the error happens a second time, yes, you need to see what the error message actually is. Remember, the user’s purpose is not to debug the problem and make it go away permanently. He just wants the thing to work NOW. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/51 "2009-03-04T23:53:15Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > The customer is not the problem. The problem is with whoever decided to use “desktop” to describe what’s on the computer screen when no programs are running. There was ALREADY an accepted usage of the word or phrase “desktop”, and it should not have another meaning. Desk top should only mean the top of the desk. Things that are on desk tops include papers, telephone, lamp, etc. > > In fact, this is a deep problem running throughout the technology field. Someone takes a word that already has a standard definition, and then adds another definition on top of that. Bad idea. Bad, bad idea. I fully agree. Software developers don’t always seem to know that describing something as a ‘desktop’ (or similar) is a fantastic metaphor when it comes to creating graphical interfaces, but that it means nothing to the regular computer user. Seeing people who are proud to have a neat and tidy desk, but have fifty thousand icons for Yahoo toolbars, eBay links, and every piece of software ever installed on their system shows that the metaphor doesn’t magically become a reality. On the other hand, _everyone_ knows what a ‘mouse’ is. Nobody had to be clever with all sorts of metaphors. They just found a good way to describe, or rather to communicate, what it looks like. ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/52 "2009-03-05T00:47:01Z")
Working as a waitress/waiter is a job I couldn’t handle. I talking to a friend of mine who waitresses at really swank places and said something to the effect of “well I bet people are nicer in there.” Oh no they are not. She says you get the same level of assholery there as anywhere else; they just where nicer clothes. From back in my days of bagging groceries at the grocery store the cashier and I are doing our thing and: kid: \\* I want a CANDY bar!\* Mom: No, they are bad for you repeat several times Cashier: [finishing up]Anything else? Mom: Two packs of cigarettes Cashier and I both pause look at each other–did we just hear that right? ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/53 "2009-03-05T02:43:32Z")
Customer calls to complain one of their scales (that we service) is “all over the place,” and won’t hold a steady weight reading. I show up, and the scale, a fairly sensitive device, is on a table butted up again a support for a fast moving conveyor (vibration). There’s also a 36" fan on “High” blowing directly on the scale. Another customer rents one of our counting scales for inventory. It has an AC power cord, but also a battery pack for remote ops. where outlet power may not be available. I tell the customer on Friday morning that the battery is rated for 12 hours, and to leave it on the charger over the weekend so it will be good and fresh Monday morning. Monday morning the customer calls back, saying the scale is broke. I show up and…the battery is dead. Customer is perplexed and angry. Customer is moron. I install a camera over a truck scale for a customer. I’m aligning the camera, with the customer watching the monitor from the service counter telling me via walkie-talkie “left, right, up, down, etc.” I get it aligned to his satifaction, and tighten everything down. I get them to confirm one last time that the camera is aligned to their satisfaction before having them sign off on the work. Not twenty minutes down the road heading to the next job, and my boss calls. It seems the manager that \*just signed off on my work \*called my boss and told him I left the camera out of alignment and unfocused. We billed them for the return trip. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/54 "2009-03-05T03:12:20Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Especially considering how easy it is to make gravy. Or open a jar of gravy, for those eating places that don’t carry ingredients, but just warm up stuff that’s been cooked at another location. It’s a chain restaurant. Even if the manager decided he wanted to do this, he can’t. No one who works at our location has any say about the menu. I thought it was common knowledge that chain places make new dishes by “committee.” They don’t take suggestions from customers or staff. At best, once or twice a year we might hand out surveys asking how you like a particular dish. But to think I have any say in whether or not we have gravy? You’ve got to be a little slow. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/55 "2009-03-05T04:30:32Z")
Oh, I’m not blaming the server or manager. I’m blaming whoever thought that serving mashed potatoes without having gravy available was a GOOD idea. ---
**Author:** ![AquaPura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AquaPura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AquaPura)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/56 "2009-03-05T10:02:28Z")
A woman came into my store today, marched right up to the counter, and exclaimed loudly, “MY GLASSES ARE WRONG!” "I can’t see SHIT out of them. " I have her sit down, check the lens Rx. Check the Rx on her old pair, match materials, turns out the Rx is identical. I offer to take her back and have her see our doctor again. “LOOK, I’ve been wearing glasses for 10 YEARS! I know these are wrong!, You didn’t put the lenses in right! I can tell!” Funny, I have been driving for about 15 years, and I certianly couldn’t tell you if someone put my alternator in backwards… I tell her the Rx is the same as her old pair. She says she can see out of those, but not these. I ask her to put her old pair on, she says, “Oh, I can’t see out of these right now, I am wearing my contacts.” “Did you try wearing your new glasses without your contacts?” I ask. “No”. I stared at her for a full minute willing her to somehow understand what she just said… ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/57 "2009-03-05T14:42:21Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > That reminds me of: > > [Woman calls 911 three times when McNuggets run out](http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2009/mar/03/told-mcnuggets-ran-out-fort-pierce-woman-calls-911/) I don’t understand why people think she’s so goofy. They took her money, didn’t have what so ordered and _refused to refund her money._ That’s called theft. Substituting a different product that the customer doesn’t want doesn’t make it all better. Why the police didn’t take her side is the weird part. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/58 "2009-03-05T15:32:54Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > I don’t understand why people think she’s so goofy. They took her money, didn’t have what so ordered and _refused to refund her money._ That’s called theft. Substituting a different product that the customer doesn’t want doesn’t make it all better. Why the police didn’t take her side is the weird part. Well, I sort-of agree, but it’s not REALLY theft. It’s store policy, supposedly. A sucky policy, but that’s how they do it. It’s not a police matter, perhaps a small-claims court matter. What are the police supposed to do? Arrest everyone in the store who refuses to refund her money, because they’d be fired if they broke policy? Frankly, though, I cannot imagine a retail establishment taking her money, explicitly for McNuggets, then saying, sorry, we don’t have it, but not being willing to give the $$$ back. That happen at the movie theater? The car dealer? “Sure, the Honda Civic is $15,000, let’s finance it! Oh, wait, we only have Accords - you have to take one of those…” Joe ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/59 "2009-03-05T15:48:34Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > I don’t understand why people think she’s so goofy. They took her money, didn’t have what so ordered and _refused to refund her money._ That’s called theft. Substituting a different product that the customer doesn’t want doesn’t make it all better. Why the police didn’t take her side is the weird part. Yeah, but it’s still not an emergency requiring 911, and geez she she should grow up. Waah, I want my McNuggets! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190/60 "2009-03-05T16:00:37Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > I don’t understand why people think she’s so goofy. They took her money, didn’t have what so ordered and _refused to refund her money._ That’s called theft. Substituting a different product that the customer doesn’t want doesn’t make it all better. Why the police didn’t take her side is the weird part. Well, first off 911 is only for life-threatening emergencies. Police departments have non-emergency lines for things like theft so that nobody dies in a fire because you were tying up the lines with your McNugget problem. Secondly, it’s silly. If someone walked up to my table, took my McNuggets, and chucked them in the trash…I’d be a bit baffled. I might yell at him a bit. But I wouldn’t be calling the police or pressing charges. Life presents us daily with small challenges. Sometimes it presents us with outright unfairness. But we learn to deal with them. We don’t call the police every time we don’t get our way. For exactly the same reason we are told not to be tattle tales when we are kids, even when we were on the bad end of things. It’s not a good use of resources and at some point you just gotta suck things up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-your-wacky-customer-service-stories/488190.md?page=4)