# Ten Other Things Gilbert & George Could Have Called Themselves **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 12, 2012, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-other-things-gilbert-george-could-have-called-themselves/624942 "2012-06-12T18:51:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ashley\_Pomeroy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@Ashley\_Pomeroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashley_Pomeroy)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2012, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-other-things-gilbert-george-could-have-called-themselves/624942/1 "2012-06-12T18:51:10Z")
British art duo Gilbert & George are famous in Britain for being _Gilbert & George_, which just sounds fundamentally _right_, like Lennon & McCartney or Peters & Lee. I once asked them if they had tried going by the name _George & Gilbert_, and whether this had led to arguments about who got first billing - they used to have a website - and they told me that they _had_, but only very briefly, and that they never argued. Also, lists. They’re popular on the internet. Easy to read\*. I’ve tried writing some for Cracked but they don’t want them. Your loss is my gain, however, because I now present to you - from the fingers of a one-time professional writer who was _paid to write_: ## **Ten Other Things Gilbert & George Could Have Called Themselves (Apart from Gilbert & George)** by Ashley Pomeroy George & Gilbert & GILBERT & george Gilbergeorge The GeePees Chickenwing & Radarfinger Gatling Cock For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched This Guy Big Shit, Little Turd The Best! Muwiel Pogo Stick Sublime Lime Me There’s McSweeney’s as well, isn’t there? But you have to be a wan, anaemic poetry type to write for McSweeney’s. As a special bonus I’ll now include the Writer’s Commentary, explaining how the writer - that’s me - came up with this list: 1. This is a simple inversion of _Gilbert & George_. 2. This was inspired by the following scene from the 1995 Lee Evans film _Funny Bones_, in which Evans - who plays a brilliant, emotionally-disturbed stand-up comedian - is being investigated by some psychiatrists: _Q: “Which of these is the odd one out? Malice. Jealousy. Greed. Envy. And kindness.” A: (short pause) “And”_ It’s an old joke, but the delivery is perfect. 3. A reference to the typography in the inner sleeve of Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s _Welcome to the Pleasuredome_, which renders all the names as e.g. johnSMITH. 4. Inspired by Duran Duran’s brief, late-80s period as _[duranduran](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Don%27t_Want_Your_Love)_. 5. Their names are, believe it or not, Gilbert Proesch and George Passmore. 6. I thought it was amusing to imagine them having Captain Beefheart-inspired surrealistic names, because they look nothing like Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band; they dress smartly and are clean-shaven. 7. They’ve always been a bit shocking. 8. Pun based on the name of the Star Trek episode _For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched The Sky_, and also a commonly-misheard line from Jimi Hendrix’s _Purple Haze_. Why? Because they probably have touched each other, and Gilbert - being Italian - might well have said “this guy” once or twice. 9. Early in their career they used to hold up signs saying “Gilbert the C **t" and "George the S** t”, reasoning that they might as well get there before other people did. Also, George is taller than Gilbert. 10. They won the 1986 Turner Prize, which was £10,000 in those days (it’s £25,000 now). Truly they were the best. 11. This is what you get if you say “Muriel” whilst suffering from [rhotacism](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhotacism). 12. Initially an attempt at a palindrome - but I realised that I was going to make _Emily’s Sassy Lime_, which has already been done and is the name of a band. Ultimately it amuses me because it’s completely irrational. - I once sat down and tried to write out a list of things that appear in every list on [Cracked.com](http://Cracked.com), and came up with: Cop Rock, the musical cop show The Finnish sniper who was shot in the head but _didn’t die_ Theodore Roosevelt The hotel in Dubai with a tennis court right at the top The Road of Death Theodore Roosevelt Theodore Roosevelt Theodore Roosevelt ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2012, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-other-things-gilbert-george-could-have-called-themselves/624942/2 "2012-06-12T19:20:14Z")
Silent movie stars **Blanche Sweet** and **Louise Lovely** went into vaudeville as a two-act when talkies hit in the early 1930s. Much to my disappointment, they did \*not \*bill themselves as **Blanche and Louise**. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2012, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-other-things-gilbert-george-could-have-called-themselves/624942/3 "2012-06-12T19:25:35Z")
“Sullivan and Gilbert? Who are they?” -Topsy Turvy ---
**Author:** ![Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunzio_Tavulari)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2012, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-other-things-gilbert-george-could-have-called-themselves/624942/4 "2012-06-12T19:50:29Z")
> [@Ashley\_Pomeroy](#): > > from the fingers of a one-time professional writer who was _paid to write_ Crop reports, I assume. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-other-things-gilbert-george-could-have-called-themselves/624942/5 "2012-06-12T20:26:30Z")
How about G&G calling themselves _Shit and Piss_, after one of their best known paintings. They could keep dressing alike except one would wear a yellow suit and the other a brown suit. Then they could switch off being Shit and Piss now and then. Or do mixed brown/yellow ensembles and be Shitpiss and Pissshit.