# Ten Things I Have Learned From Working in Retail **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 22, 2008, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273 "2008-12-22T03:56:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/21 "2008-12-22T16:33:19Z")
> [@Mindfield](#): > > “Loss Prevention Officers,” in attempting to enhance security and reduce shrinkage, usually just make shit up in order to make it look like they’re doing something and justify their position. I’ve got stories about one in particularly absurd officer. Stories? Please share! ---
**Author:** ![CutterJohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@CutterJohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CutterJohn)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/22 "2008-12-22T16:35:06Z")
> [@KnitWit](#): > > 1. Don’t return underwear. And don’t exit a fitting room with a pair of panties and hand them to the clerk, saying, “These don’t fit.” We instantly fill out a claims ticket for these things and they end up getting thrown out. I would think anyone with a grain of sense would know that, but it happens EVERY SINGLE DAY. Gross. Being a guy, I’ve never needed to try on underwear before, but what is the difference between that and trying on, say, a bathing suit, or heck, just a pair of pants? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/23 "2008-12-22T16:42:38Z")
> [@CutterJohn](#): > > Being a guy, I’ve never needed to try on underwear before, but what is the difference between that and trying on, say, a bathing suit, or heck, just a pair of pants? Bathing suits are supposed to be tried on over the panties (typically signs are posted about this), and most these days have a thin adhesive “guard” in the crotch that is supposed to be removed later. As for pants, you’re **supposed** to be wearing underwear under those anyway, and they don’t usually fit right up into your private bits like undies do. I don’t try on underwear bottoms either, and I’m a woman. I know what my size is, and I haven’t noticed much in the way of size differences between brands/stores, unlike with other clothing. I suppose the poster may be assuming wrongly that the customers aren’t trying them on over their own underwear, but somehow I suspect this isn’t the case. ---
**Author:** ![KnitWit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@KnitWit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KnitWit)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/24 "2008-12-22T16:47:59Z")
You’re required to try on bathing suits (and all other garments) with your underwear ON. But if you’re trying on panties, it is assumed by the sales staff that you tried them on in your birthday suit. In a way, it IS a rather fine line. It’s also, strangely enough, the LAW that you leave panties (or manties in your case) on in fitting rooms. ---
**Author:** ![Jelly\_Roll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Jelly\_Roll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jelly_Roll)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/25 "2008-12-22T16:57:05Z")
After working in retail for years, I am certain that it’s a \*scientific fact \*that a person’s IQ drops in half the minute they walk through the doors of any retail store. No, I don’t have a cite. And since a lot of my retail years were spent working in a card shop, I have to add that it is not the fault of the associate that the selection of Christmas cards is less than stellar on Christmas Eve. Sames goes for the day before Mother’s Day and February 13. ---
**Author:** ![KnitWit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@KnitWit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KnitWit)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/26 "2008-12-22T17:02:58Z")
> [@Jelly\_Roll](#): > > After working in retail for years, I am certain that it’s a \*scientific fact \*that a person’s IQ drops in half the minute they walk through the doors of any retail store. > > No, I don’t have a cite. > > And since a lot of my retail years were spent working in a card shop, I have to add that it is not the fault of the associate that the selection of Christmas cards is less than stellar on Christmas Eve. Sames goes for the day before Mother’s Day and February 13. This reminds me of one of my favorite in-store quotes: “How come you don’t have any earmuffs left, it’s 10 below zero!” Uh, yeah. We don’t have boots, mittens, or ice scrapers either. Sorry 'bout that. ---
**Author:** ![Morelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Morelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morelin)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/27 "2008-12-22T17:06:33Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > Look, I worked retail for one horrific year in high school, and believe me, I am aware that customers can be morons. I just wish that there was some middle ground, some way to communicate to the associate that I actually DID look for a significant period of time in the most logical place I assumed the product would be, and now I need to know if you’re out or I’m looking in the wrong place. What I do when someone says they’ve been looking at where it should be for 30 minutes is ask if they mind if I ‘doublecheck’ the area for them, before looking on displays or in the back room. Easily half the time the product is where it should be, and the customer merely overlooked it. And even if I look it up on the computer, there’s a good 2 day delay between when it was purchased and when the system marks it sold, so I have to check the shelf anyway, unless I personally sold the last item. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/28 "2008-12-22T17:20:47Z")
> [@Santo\_Rugger](#): > > But, seriously, there should be a test tacked on as part of getting a driver’s license. When you pass, you get a little sticker on it, and you can show it to waiters, retail clerks, etc. It also gets you a discount at thousands of businesses, because they know they’re not going to have to spend as much time invested into customer service for sticker holders. I find your ideas intriguing and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. > [@Morelin](#): > > What I do when someone says they’ve been looking at where it should be for 30 minutes is ask if they mind if I ‘doublecheck’ the area for them, before looking on displays or in the back room. Easily half the time the product is where it should be, and the customer merely overlooked it. And even if I look it up on the computer, there’s a good 2 day delay between when it was purchased and when the system marks it sold, so I have to check the shelf anyway, unless I personally sold the last item. This sounds imminently reasonable. And please understand that I do NOT get all huffy with the associate and say out loud “I already looked you effing moron!” I do try to accept whatever assistance I am given with good graces, even if I’m mumbling inside “I already looked you effing moron!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shadez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Shadez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadez)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/29 "2008-12-22T17:32:31Z")
Obligatory link to the [Customers Suck](http://community.livejournal.com/customers_suck) LJ Community. 🙂 I love that place. 25k members and 10k watchers. ;p ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/30 "2008-12-22T17:35:10Z")
I am shamefacedly one of those who spends 15 minutes looking at an aisle for an item, finally flags down an employee, and they point the item out right in front of me. I have a nasty habit of carefully scrutinizing a long list of anything, words, things, whatever, and my attention slips for just a second and I skip over the _one_ thing I was looking for. Happens too often to be coincidence. A second pair of eyes is always helpful in those cases. ---
**Author:** ![brad\_d](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@brad\_d](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brad_d)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/31 "2008-12-22T17:45:49Z")
> [@Mindfield](#): > > Corollary: Such customers have no idea what it means to “close out” a till, and therefore can’t understand why your decision not to let them in the store is not merely based on the fact that you don’t want them there past closing, but you couldn’t sell them whatever it is they want anyway because _the tills have been closed out_ for the day, and reopening them for just one customer is just not happening. If you’ve closed out the tills and are using that as an excuse to turn people away by 8:58, I can understand a customer being a bit upset if your posted closing time is 9:00. If you cannot or will not sell anything, you are effectively already closed. ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/32 "2008-12-22T18:18:30Z")
> [@Mindfield](#): > > Corollary: Such customers have no idea what it means to “close out” a till, and therefore can’t understand why your decision not to let them in the store is not merely based on the fact that you don’t want them there past closing, but you couldn’t sell them whatever it is they want anyway because _the tills have been closed out_ for the day, and reopening them for just one customer is just not happening. Instead of using the computer, I would use a calculator. I used to know the sales tax by heart and prices were on the shelves. I would leave the money with a note of what the guy bought and the person opening up the next day would “make the sale” on the computer. So it is possible to make a sale with the registers closed, but I can’t let the customer community ever know that. If I want to go home it was “sorry I turned off the computers” or “I just turned on the alarm and the store is set to shutdown in one minute.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/33 "2008-12-22T18:39:00Z")
> [@KnitWit](#): > > You’re required to try on bathing suits (and all other garments) with your underwear ON. But if you’re trying on panties, it is assumed by the sales staff that you tried them on in your birthday suit. In a way, it IS a rather fine line. It’s also, strangely enough, the LAW that you leave panties (or manties in your case) on in fitting rooms. What law? Cite, please. When I was in retail, we were told to tell customers that the health department had a rule against returning pierced earrings. But in our manual, it said that no such law existed. I’d be surprised if there was a law against trying on clothes without underwear, either. It’s like some other things in retail – a story policy that’s blamed on the law so no one will question it. A quick look at the New York State Department of Health website shows nothing on the subject, nor does the site have any mention of any rules for fitting rooms. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/34 "2008-12-22T18:41:47Z")
> [@KnitWit](#): > > I’m working at a store that doesn’t close. Ever. Okay, they are closed on one day of the year, Christmas day. Otherwise, if you want to try on shoes at 3 in the morning, you’re free to do so. Ack! You have my sympathies. Is the night crowd worse than the day crowd with regards to idiocy? > [@E-Sabbath](#): > > Please, share! > [@cwthree](#): > > Stories? Please share! Alright, gather round and let me tell you 'bout the story of Slappy the Loss Prevention Officer. I call him that because I don’t remember his real name, which is probably my brains way of filtering out the most harmful parts from the shimmering waves of dumb that emanated from him, leaving only the memories but not the deleterious effects. This was when I worked at Future Shop years back, so, big box electronics chain, statistically significant levels of shrinkage, and entirely too many management tiers. Slappy didn’t come around often, but when he did, he always had new and exiting ways in which to waste our time in the name of security “enhancements.” To whit, some of his wild and wonderful ideas were: - Placing security tags on the backs of CDs and DVDs because he assumed theft happened complete-in-box. - When that didn’t work because thieves were removing the plastic wrapping, cutting small slits in the packaging and stuffing security tags _inside_ the packages, apparently still under the delusion that thieves still took the cases. (They don’t. They take the disc. Just the disc.) This added an extra hour or more to our merchandising of DVDs, and an extra _two_ hours to merchandising CDs because we had to cut the security tags down to fit through those tiny little tabs on the tops and bottoms of the jewelcases). - Creating “The Red Zone,” an area literally demarcated by red tape on the floor and encircling the entertainment department in which one sales associate was expected to patrol at all times. Note: Theft almost never happened in entertainment. It always happened in Home Theater or Appliances. Home Theater because they had comfy couches to stuff wrapping in and hide their activities, plus the salespeople were constantly distracted, and Appliances because it had tall aisles stacked with appliances that provided ample cover. - Instituting a receipt checker at cash, which is a dumb idea exclusively because theft was usually of items small enough to stuff in a jacket or pocket, and those that weren’t were usually orchestrated such that they’d grab whatever they were stealing and make a mad dash out the _entrance_ doors when someone walked through them. Receipt checking never caught any thefts. Ever. I realize it’s also used to check to make sure all items were rung in, but it never caught any of those, either. By far, Slappy’s most “innovative” idea – which he pitched with great fervor as though he’d just single-handedly figured out how to solve the shrinkage problem once and for all – was to become the biggest running joke the store had ever known. Having gathered the entertainment associates in a small clutch, he told us of his cunning plan, which involved a box. He pulled it out and opened it with a flourish to reveal the mechanism at which dastardly criminals from one end of the chain to the other would shake their impotent fists at and yell, “Curses!” It was a horn. A clown horn. The sort with the flared bell, the loop in the middle, and the rubber bellows at the other end which made a “_HONK_-ee!” noise when you squeezed it. Bit of a racist horn, really. The looks we exchanged amongst ourselves were filled with barely-stifled incredulity. I can’t speak for the others, but I was waiting for him to pull out the seltzer, the squirting flower and the big floppy shoes. Slappy hadn’t noticed our looks of bemusement, as he went on about his presentation with vigor. The horn was to be mounted on the top of one of the wire racks that separated the music and movies section from the video games and software section. The plan was that every time an associate – any associate – passed it, he or she was supposed to honk it. The idea was that the sound of a clown horn was to be a sort of reverse clarion call designed to ward off would-be thieves by saying in no uncertain terms, “there is an associate nearby, so you thieves, you’d better stop stealing or else!” Apparently, the notion that it may instead make everyone start looking for the guy with the big colourful afro and painted face never occured to him, nor did the idea that maybe “_HONK_-ee!” may not be considered a well-understood warning sign except to those suffering from coulraphobia. So mounted, the horn became a brief tool of amusement for the staff, who would honk it not for any reasons of security, but to try and startle a nearby associate who wasn’t paying attention, or just because they were amused by the sound it made. Eventually they got bored and it just sat there, unattented except when a manager complained that we weren’t honking it enough, for he was bound to uphold the will of Slappy the Loss Prevention Officer no matter how ridiculous it was. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/35 "2008-12-22T18:49:33Z")
I worked at KMart in high school, it’s something that shaped my view of humanity. 1. The probability that someone will ask you if you work there is proportional to the amount of store related items item I am wearing. Walking around in dress pants/shirt/shoes/tie, a bright red smock with store ads and tools hanging out the front pockets, and a red white & blue name tag guaranteed that I would be asked that question every 15 minutes or so. 10 minutes if I was actively working on changing the inventory on a display. We weren’t allowed to say no, we asked. 2. The ‘10 items or less’ sign only applies to ‘other people’, not you of course. Judging solely by reactions, pointing out the sign to someone already in line is a social offense comparable to urinating on their infant. 3. That guy who buys several 4 packs of the orange tube of model glue every Friday is _not_ a hobby enthusiast. 4. When the cashier opens the strangely unsealed box for the large blender you have placed on the counter, the appropriate thing to do is say is ‘You don’t have to do that I already checked it.’ and try to grab it off of her. When the cashier starts pulling out the 50 or so CDs you crammed into it, the appropriate thing to say is ‘Those aren’t mine.’ 5. When you have spent the last 10 minutes screaming at the cashier at the top of your lungs about how incompetent they are and how you hate the store and how racist everyone is and other things we didn’t quite understand, when it’s pointed out to you that you do not have the sale item but rather something that is very obviously different from the sale item, it’s important to let everyone know that it’s their fault for this, and not yours. 6. Anything a child does, up to and including shooting you with a BB gun taken from the shelf, getting melted chocolate all over your new pants, and knocking several gallon size glass containers of ice tea all over the floor, is ‘cute’, and any attempt to infer otherwise is a social offense akin to defecating on said child. 7. Little old ladies can either be the nicest, sweetest people on the earth who appreciate any and all things done for them, or the meanest, most callous creatures to walk the planet who would happily run crippled orphans down with their shopping carts should they be in the way. You have way of knowing which is which until it’s too late. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/36 "2008-12-22T18:50:32Z")
> [@Morelin](#): > > What I do when someone says they’ve been looking at where it should be for 30 minutes is ask if they mind if I ‘doublecheck’ the area for them, before looking on displays or in the back room. When I, as a customer, ask for help, I usually say something to the effect of, “Excuse me, I’m sorry, I know I’m probably just blind, but I can’t find the (insert: blue light bulbs, crotch lotion, bronze age, etc). Can you tell me if I’m looking in the right place?” I do this, because I still have horrified flashbacks to the year I spent in retail, after high school. Remind me to tell you the “glob” story sometime. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/37 "2008-12-22T18:57:46Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > I don’t try on underwear bottoms either, and I’m a woman. I know what my size is, and I haven’t noticed much in the way of size differences between brands/stores, unlike with other clothing. I think we should share some of the ire in this thread with women’s clothing manufacturers, since this proves that they _can_ produce clothing that meets standard sizing specs, but choose not to. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/38 "2008-12-22T19:19:38Z")
> [@brad\_d](#): > > If you’ve closed out the tills and are using that as an excuse to turn people away by 8:58, I can understand a customer being a bit upset if your posted closing time is 9:00. If you cannot or will not sell anything, you are effectively already closed. On my own experience it’s always been the 9:01 customers that do this, when we’ve already locked the doors, dimmed the lights, and the tills are busy spewing out the day’s transactions. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/39 "2008-12-22T19:26:56Z")
> [@amelioration](#): > > 1. Customers have the most unscrupulous ways of trying to cut deals for themselves. That includes returning purchases in order to repurchase them on markdown. I’m with you on just about everything except this. Do you mean when an item goes on sale a customer will return the item just to buy it again at the sale price? Is that really unscrupulous? Some stores actually have a policy allowing this, I believe Circuit City was one. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273/40 "2008-12-22T19:33:57Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > I’m with you on just about everything except this. Do you mean when an item goes on sale a customer will return the item just to buy it again at the sale price? Is that really unscrupulous? Some stores actually have a policy allowing this, I believe Circuit City was one. I think he was referring to the days before stores instituted a “restocking” fee. Customer would buy a unit for $199.99, open the box, return it to the store and get his $199.99 back, wait for the store to place item back on sales floor as a “reduced price open box item” and rebuy it for the cheaper price. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-i-have-learned-from-working-in-retail/478273.md?page=3)